'I had no choice ... I have two husbands'



BHILWARA, INDIA // For several years, Sohan Singh, 24, stretched himself thin in pursuit of a bride. He advertised his availability as a groom through a popular matrimonial service; he hired a traditional matchmaker to peddle his "eligible bachelor" status in town; his relatives scoured neighbourhoods for a match, his photograph and janma patri - or Vedic birth chart - in hand. He also abandoned demands for dowry, lest it threaten his nuptial prospects. But Mr Singh had no luck. Eventually, frustrated, he gave up, only to collude with his elder brother, Mohan Singh, 30, to do the unthinkable: he convinced him to share his wife. "I had no choice but to submit to my husband and brother-in-law," said Manu Kanwar, 26, hiding her face behind a ghunghat, or Indian veil. "I have two husbands." This is not a peculiar one-off case of polyandry in this sun-baked desert town in western India. The challenge of finding a female partner is slowly becoming an all too common problem, leading to rising social tension and increasing instances of crime and sexual violence against women - child marriages, girl trafficking - besides an increase in such practices as polyandry. The shortage of brides, women's rights activists say, is indicative of the acute scarcity of young girls in the region, a result of years of unbridled sex-selective abortions and female infanticide, which have reached alarming proportions. The gender ratio in India is the most skewed in the world. The 2001 census registered a ratio that had plummeted from 976 girls per 1,000 boys in 1991 to 927 girls per 1,000 boys, indicating that about 900,000 female foetuses were aborted, or girl infants killed, every year. The country's Sample Registration System data for 2002-2004 revealed a further drop to 882 girls per 1,000 boys. Across vast swathes of still-patriarchal Indian society, millions of families have preferred to have sons over daughters. Sons, considered pivotal to family welfare, continue family lineage and are sources of social and financial security to parents, while daughters have traditionally been considered a burden for the social obligation of paying dowry to the groom's family. In his previous term as prime minister, Manmohan Singh, in a national conference, described the dwindling number of girls as a "national shame". "If you don't allow girls to be born," said Tara Ahluwalia, a women's rights activist in Bhilwara town, "we are creating an abnormal world in which women, in short supply, are exploited." Women have not vanished overnight, she points out. Years of easy access to mushrooming ultrasound clinics that scan the sex of a foetus are to blame, she said. India's Preconception and Prenatal Diagnostic Techniques Act of 1994 prescribes a fine of up to US$2,500 (Dh9,000) and three years in jail for those found guilty of female foeticide. But despite being banned, sex-selective abortion has swelled into a $244 million business. About 50 ultrasound clinics, banking on the lucrative business, have sprouted in Bhilwara in the last few years. Last year, three of them were sealed after they were found breaching norms of the 1994 act. But the crackdown was not nearly enough, Ms Ahluwalia said. "Cases drag on for years," said Ms Ahluwalia, who testified against one clinic owner caught blatantly conducting sex determination tests. "The wheel of law grinds too slowly." But clinics that perform these tests are not only to blame. At Bhilwara's swanky Shree Sidhivinayak Hospital, a sign at the entrance reads in bold: "Sex determination is not done here." Yet, Dr Rekha Sharma, the clinic's owner, said some patients, willing to offer good money, unabashedly ask for it. "Recently, one woman pregnant with her fifth child begged me to do it between sobs. 'I already have four daughters. My in-laws harass me for a son. Please just tell me before it's too late - do I have a boy or a girl in my womb?' " Ms Kanwar, who is trapped in a polyandrous relationship because of the relentless killing of female foetuses, said she "was compelled" to abort her first baby six years ago, when Mohan Singh, her first husband, discovered it was a girl. She gave birth to three girls and a son after that, uncertain which brother was the father of each. "I refused to kill my daughers," she said. "I put my foot down. I explained to my husbands that we are trapped in this relationship because girls have gone missing in this town." Ms Kanwar's children, as they have gotten older, are confused about whom to call father. Tarred as "the woman with two husbands", she is a subject of ridicule in her village. They have had to move houses twice already as the social ostracisation became unbearable. "The only positive development," Ms Ahluwalia said, "is that demand for dowry has gone down amid the shortage of brides". achopra@thenational.ae

Director: Laxman Utekar

Cast: Vicky Kaushal, Akshaye Khanna, Diana Penty, Vineet Kumar Singh, Rashmika Mandanna

Rating: 1/5

GYAN’S ASIAN OUTPUT

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Dirham Stretcher tips for having a baby in the UAE

Selma Abdelhamid, the group's moderator, offers her guide to guide the cost of having a young family:

• Buy second hand stuff

 They grow so fast. Don't get a second hand car seat though, unless you 100 per cent know it's not expired and hasn't been in an accident.

• Get a health card and vaccinate your child for free at government health centres

 Ms Ma says she discovered this after spending thousands on vaccinations at private clinics.

• Join mum and baby coffee mornings provided by clinics, babysitting companies or nurseries.

Before joining baby classes ask for a free trial session. This way you will know if it's for you or not. You'll be surprised how great some classes are and how bad others are.

• Once baby is ready for solids, cook at home

Take the food with you in reusable pouches or jars. You'll save a fortune and you'll know exactly what you're feeding your child.

How to help

Call the hotline on 0502955999 or send "thenational" to the following numbers:

2289 - Dh10

2252 - Dh50

6025 - Dh20

6027 - Dh100

6026 - Dh200

MATCH INFO

Uefa Champions League semi-final, first leg
Bayern Munich v Real Madrid

When: April 25, 10.45pm kick-off (UAE)
Where: Allianz Arena, Munich
Live: BeIN Sports HD
Second leg: May 1, Santiago Bernabeu, Madrid

Racecard

2pm Handicap Dh 90,000 1,800m

2.30pm Handicap Dh120,000 1,950m

3pm Handicap Dh105,000 1,600m

3.30pm Jebel Ali Classic Conditions Dh300,000 1,400m

4pm Maiden Dh75,000 1,600m

4.30pm Conditions Dh250,000 1,400m

5pm Maiden Dh75,000 1,600m

5.30pm Handicap Dh85,000 1,000m

 

The National selections:

2pm Arch Gold

2.30pm Conclusion

3pm Al Battar

3.30pm Golden Jaguar

4pm Al Motayar

4.30pm Tapi Sioux

5pm Leadership

5.30pm Dahawi

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Fines for littering

In Dubai:

Dh200 for littering or spitting in the Dubai Metro

Dh500 for throwing cigarette butts or chewing gum on the floor, or littering from a vehicle. 
Dh1,000 for littering on a beach, spitting in public places, throwing a cigarette butt from a vehicle

In Sharjah and other emirates
Dh500 for littering - including cigarette butts and chewing gum - in public places and beaches in Sharjah
Dh2,000 for littering in Sharjah deserts
Dh500 for littering from a vehicle in Ras Al Khaimah
Dh1,000 for littering from a car in Abu Dhabi
Dh1,000 to Dh100,000 for dumping waste in residential or public areas in Al Ain
Dh10,000 for littering at Ajman's beaches 

Formula Middle East Calendar (Formula Regional and Formula 4)
Round 1: January 17-19, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 2: January 22-23, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 3: February 7-9, Dubai Autodrome – Dubai
 
Round 4: February 14-16, Yas Marina Circuit – Abu Dhabi
 
Round 5: February 25-27, Jeddah Corniche Circuit – Saudi Arabia