Why I'm sure I do not want children, as the world falls deeper into crisis

The past few years have been tough for many people

Not every woman feels the need to be a mum and the world should be OK with that, writes Evelyn Lau. Sasha Freemind / Unsplash

The older I get, the more I feel certain that I do not want children.

It is a strange reversal to how I felt when I was younger. Back then, I was always the more maternal one among my friends. I had always believed (maybe incorrectly) that motherhood was just going to happen when it was the right time in my life.

But as time has gone on, it has seemed as though the “right time” no longer truly exists. Every day, there’s just bad news followed by more bad news.

For example, there’s currently the issue of the extreme weather brought on by the climate crisis – something that we have been warned about for decades but has never been taken seriously enough.

There has been an extreme heatwave in the US and Europe, devastating flooding in South Korea and miraculous snowfall in South Africa – all alarming signs of just how damaged the planet has become.

There’s also been news recently about student loans in the US. As an American, I’m also affected by how they will restart in October after being paused for the past few years because of the pandemic.

Last month, the US Supreme Court also struck down President Joe Biden’s $20,000 forgiveness plan – something that could have been a lifeline for the millions of people in debt over student loans.

Even maternity leave raises eyebrows, with too many countries, and companies, just not offering enough. Not enough care, not enough support, not enough time.

The longer the list becomes and all of this goes on, the more I feel confident this isn’t for me and it seems I am not the only one.

In the past 50 years, there has been a decline in global birth rates, which was a global average of five children in 1950 but has gone down to 2.3 in 2022, according to the World Economic Forum.

It doesn't help that we had a global pandemic that upended many lives but which also taught us how to slow down and enjoy parts of our lives we may have previously forgotten or simply overlooked.

I have nothing against people who choose to become parents, such as colleagues and, more recently, my best friend in the US. I think motherhood is the hardest job in the world, but I’m also going to be honest: I don't think I would be able to keep up, and I'm not sure I'd want to either.

This may seem selfish to some, but I value my personal freedom.

I enjoy sleeping in on the weekends or staying out late with friends. I want to spontaneously go on trips and know that I’m responsible only for myself. I enjoy finding things to do for myself, whether it's being active at the gym or playing video games. I also don't want to fall back into financial despair after working hard to get out of it.

For me, my quality of life is not defined by getting married or having children. I still have plenty of love and joy from family and friends, and any motherly instinct I feel tends to go towards helping my rescue cats.

People will ask, “What if you regret it?” but I think the same can be asked of those who decide to have children. Whichever way you cut it, the decision is life-changing. But not every woman feels the need to be a mum and the world should be OK with that.