Fiddling with the radio while driving through Nova Scotia years ago, I came across a programme devoted to the difficulties Jean Chrétien, then Canada's prime minister, had with spoken English.
Mr Chrétien had the excuse of coming from French-speaking Québec, though I also remember one wag saying he was the first Canadian premier to have mastered neither of his country's principal languages. His slips of the tongue became known as chretienneries.
Without making a detailed study of the sayings of Mr Chrétien, we cannot be sure whether the claims that he routinely mangled both French and English owed more to political backbiting than fact. He may be reassured, however, that he is not alone among leading decision-makers in having his powers of expression so impertinently mocked.
Two items reached me this week from an Australian colleague. One concerns his own country, where Larissa Ham harrumphs, at the website of The Age newspaper, about declining standards of spelling and grammar, citing official research suggesting that "almost half of all working Australians don't have the basic literacy and numeracy skills to meet the demands of their everyday work".
Her article was inspired not by illiteracy statistics but by an admission from an Australian senator, Steve Fielding, that a lifelong learning disability explained his perpetual struggle with words. His latest howler was to discuss "physical policy" when he meant fiscal, and to spell fiscal with a k. "I can read, I can write," he said on radio. "But I might not be able to spell the name."
We may have to wait some time for similar soul-baring from the winners, if that is the correct term, of a poll conducted by the Plain English Campaign to find the worst abuses of English by public figures in recent times.
An Agence France-Presse report on the survey was the second of the items forwarded by my colleague.
In tenth place came Boris Johnson, the colourful mayor of London, for his declaration on television: "I could not fail to disagree with you less." Now I consider this oddly elegant; I would also pick a quarrel with those who voted for the former footballer Eric Cantona's comment, on narrowly escaping jail for assaulting a supporter: "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea." The meaning was always clear to me: the vultures of the press had turned out in force in the hope of feeding on the pickings of his disgrace.
Not many people would question the inclusion of gaffes by two sports commentators: John Motson ("for those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are playing in yellow") and Murray Walker ("the lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical").
It would take a second column to list the top 10 in full. Suffice to say that three American political figures - Arnold Schwarzenegger, Donald Rumsfeld and Bill Clinton - richly deserved their places, as did the British prime minister Gordon Brown.
But first place went to that implacable enemy of plain English, George W Bush, for this priceless offering: "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
Now 75 and retired from politics, Jean Chrétien may fairly point out that he did well enough for a man who spoke only Québécois French until he was 30.
It is a shame his own best-remembered verbal contortions - "a proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." - was not among the poll front-runners. He might then have been forgiven for feeling, if not vindicated, in honourable company.
Colin Randall is a contributing editor to The National and may be contacted at crandall@thenational.ae
Sri Lanka squad for tri-nation series
Angelo Mathews (c), Upul Tharanga, Danushka Gunathilaka, Kusal Mendis, Dinesh Chandimal, Kusal Janith Perera, Thisara Perera, Asela Gunaratne, Niroshan Dickwella, Suranga Lakmal, Nuwan Pradeep, Dushmantha Chameera, Shehan Madushanka, Akila Dananjaya, Lakshan Sandakan and Wanidu Hasaranga
Company Fact Box
Company name/date started: Abwaab Technologies / September 2019
Founders: Hamdi Tabbaa, co-founder and CEO. Hussein Alsarabi, co-founder and CTO
Based: Amman, Jordan
Sector: Education Technology
Size (employees/revenue): Total team size: 65. Full-time employees: 25. Revenue undisclosed
Stage: early-stage startup
Investors: Adam Tech Ventures, Endure Capital, Equitrust, the World Bank-backed Innovative Startups SMEs Fund, a London investment fund, a number of former and current executives from Uber and Netflix, among others.
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The specs: 2018 Peugeot 5008
Price, base / as tested: Dh99,900 / Dh134,900
Engine: 1.6-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Six-speed automatic
Power: 165hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 240Nm @ 1,400rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 5.8L / 100km
Our legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants
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FIXTURES
Thu Mar 15 – West Indies v Afghanistan, UAE v Scotland
Fri Mar 16 – Ireland v Zimbabwe
Sun Mar 18 – Ireland v Scotland
Mon Mar 19 – West Indies v Zimbabwe
Tue Mar 20 – UAE v Afghanistan
Wed Mar 21 – West Indies v Scotland
Thu Mar 22 – UAE v Zimbabwe
Fri Mar 23 – Ireland v Afghanistan
The top two teams qualify for the World Cup
Classification matches
The top-placed side out of Papua New Guinea, Hong Kong or Nepal will be granted one-day international status. UAE and Scotland have already won ODI status, having qualified for the Super Six.
Thu Mar 15 – Netherlands v Hong Kong, PNG v Nepal
Sat Mar 17 – 7th-8th place playoff, 9th-10th place playoff
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The specs
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Power: 154bhp
Torque: 250Nm
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Price: From Dh79,600
On sale: Now
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The Perfect Couple
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor
Creator: Jenna Lamia
Rating: 3/5
Four reasons global stock markets are falling right now
There are many factors worrying investors right now and triggering a rush out of stock markets. Here are four of the biggest:
1. Rising US interest rates
The US Federal Reserve has increased interest rates three times this year in a bid to prevent its buoyant economy from overheating. They now stand at between 2 and 2.25 per cent and markets are pencilling in three more rises next year.
Kim Catechis, manager of the Legg Mason Martin Currie Global Emerging Markets Fund, says US inflation is rising and the Fed will continue to raise rates in 2019. “With inflationary pressures growing, an increasing number of corporates are guiding profitability expectations downwards for 2018 and 2019, citing the negative impact of rising costs.”
At the same time as rates are rising, central bankers in the US and Europe have been ending quantitative easing, bringing the era of cheap money to an end.
2. Stronger dollar
High US rates have driven up the value of the dollar and bond yields, and this is putting pressure on emerging market countries that took advantage of low interest rates to run up trillions in dollar-denominated debt. They have also suffered capital outflows as international investors have switched to the US, driving markets lower. Omar Negyal, portfolio manager of the JP Morgan Global Emerging Markets Income Trust, says this looks like a buying opportunity. “Despite short-term volatility we remain positive about long-term prospects and profitability for emerging markets.”
3. Global trade war
Ritu Vohora, investment director at fund manager M&G, says markets fear that US President Donald Trump’s spat with China will escalate into a full-blown global trade war, with both sides suffering. “The US economy is robust enough to absorb higher input costs now, but this may not be the case as tariffs escalate. However, with a host of factors hitting investor sentiment, this is becoming a stock picker’s market.”
4. Eurozone uncertainty
Europe faces two challenges right now in the shape of Brexit and the new populist government in eurozone member Italy.
Chris Beauchamp, chief market analyst at IG, which has offices in Dubai, says the stand-off between between Rome and Brussels threatens to become much more serious. "As with Brexit, neither side appears willing to step back from the edge, threatening more trouble down the line.”
The European economy may also be slowing, Mr Beauchamp warns. “A four-year low in eurozone manufacturing confidence highlights the fact that producers see a bumpy road ahead, with US-EU trade talks remaining a major question-mark for exporters.”
How Islam's view of posthumous transplant surgery changed
Transplants from the deceased have been carried out in hospitals across the globe for decades, but in some countries in the Middle East, including the UAE, the practise was banned until relatively recently.
Opinion has been divided as to whether organ donations from a deceased person is permissible in Islam.
The body is viewed as sacred, during and after death, thus prohibiting cremation and tattoos.
One school of thought viewed the removal of organs after death as equally impermissible.
That view has largely changed, and among scholars and indeed many in society, to be seen as permissible to save another life.
The%20specs
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Oscars in the UAE
The 90th Academy Awards will be aired in the UAE from 3.30am on Monday, March 5 on OSN, with the ceremony starting at 5am