Softening life's blows with a little understatement



When I was young, my family bought groceries at a little corner shop owned, appropriately, by Mr Corner. He was a genial but direct man, and the sign on the wall behind his counter read: "Please do not ask for credit as a refusal often offends." The wording was not his own. Similar signs could be found in many shops. But Mr Corner recognised the value of understatement, the art of making harsh facts more palatable without placing their intended meaning in any doubt.

Half a century later, variations of such warnings to impecunious would-be customers can still be seen on retail premises. They have more to do with civility than concession. Mr Corner was firm enough; he was also courteous and restrained, and the importance of these qualities should not be underestimated. Wise old newspapermen used to advise young recruits to avoid trying to seem clever by composing withering reviews of amateur dramatic society productions. One friend recalls an editor saying the glance of the rapier was more effective than the slash of the sword. Far better, applying this theory, to say an individual's performance "demonstrated the difficulties of the role" than to suggest it "did for acting what Hitler did for peace and diplomacy".

I concede, in passing, that some readers will wonder what entitles a cub reporter to assess dramatic productions in any case. The question would take a column of its own to explore, though my own local newspaper was once rebuked for sending a journalist with expert knowledge to an opening night. When her unenthusiastic review appeared, she was accused of being motivated by artistic rivalry. These days, when media coverage of the arts is much more brash and occasionally brutal, her criticisms of the play would probably seem mild.

But it is also worth remembering that understatement can be a curse as well as a soothing agent. However gently an employee is told he is being "let go", he knows he is being fired all the same; the sense of grievance may even be heightened by the element of choice falsely implied by the word "let". Equally, the frustrations of travellers are not greatly eased by road signs stating "delays possible" instead of the more honest "delays a racing certainty - and expect them to be long". In France, rail passengers are primly notified of a mouvement social when the staff are, in fact, on strike and intent on making movement, social or otherwise, as hard as possible.

At the football stadium, the proper definition of "restricted view" from certain seats may well be that spectators should not expect to see the goalmouth, defeating the object of attending a game. A wayward uncle said to be "in a little trouble with the law" could turn out to be facing a long stretch for fraud. Schoolboys of earlier generations drew little comfort from jolly references to "six of the best" to describe painful encounters in the headmaster's study.

And civilians caught up in warfare die just as surely when the effects of military action are called "collateral damage" as they would if generals admitted: "We went for our target regardless of how many women and children got in the way." Each of my examples represents understatement in one form or another. It is easy to argue that the undiluted truth would often be preferable. But if news must sometimes, by definition, be unwelcome, it is also a mark of human decency and not cowardice to adopt language designed to soften the blow.

Old Mr Corner was not insensitive to the problems of people who found themselves short of money. He just wanted it understood that he could not treat shopkeeping as a charitable activity, but he was far too polite and considerate to put up sign with the blunter message: "No money? Clear off." Colin Randall is a contributing editor to The National and may be contacted at crandall@thenational.ae

Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989

Director: Goran Hugo Olsson

Rating: 5/5

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The specs: 2018 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk


Price, base: Dh399,999
Engine: Supercharged 6.2-litre V8
Gearbox: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 707hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 875Nm @ 4,800rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 16.8L / 100km (estimate)

Important questions to consider

1. Where on the plane does my pet travel?

There are different types of travel available for pets:

  • Manifest cargo
  • Excess luggage in the hold
  • Excess luggage in the cabin

Each option is safe. The feasibility of each option is based on the size and breed of your pet, the airline they are traveling on and country they are travelling to.

 

2. What is the difference between my pet traveling as manifest cargo or as excess luggage?

If traveling as manifest cargo, your pet is traveling in the front hold of the plane and can travel with or without you being on the same plane. The cost of your pets travel is based on volumetric weight, in other words, the size of their travel crate.

If traveling as excess luggage, your pet will be in the rear hold of the plane and must be traveling under the ticket of a human passenger. The cost of your pets travel is based on the actual (combined) weight of your pet in their crate.

 

3. What happens when my pet arrives in the country they are traveling to?

As soon as the flight arrives, your pet will be taken from the plane straight to the airport terminal.

If your pet is traveling as excess luggage, they will taken to the oversized luggage area in the arrival hall. Once you clear passport control, you will be able to collect them at the same time as your normal luggage. As you exit the airport via the ‘something to declare’ customs channel you will be asked to present your pets travel paperwork to the customs official and / or the vet on duty. 

If your pet is traveling as manifest cargo, they will be taken to the Animal Reception Centre. There, their documentation will be reviewed by the staff of the ARC to ensure all is in order. At the same time, relevant customs formalities will be completed by staff based at the arriving airport. 

 

4. How long does the travel paperwork and other travel preparations take?

This depends entirely on the location that your pet is traveling to. Your pet relocation compnay will provide you with an accurate timeline of how long the relevant preparations will take and at what point in the process the various steps must be taken.

In some cases they can get your pet ‘travel ready’ in a few days. In others it can be up to six months or more.

 

5. What vaccinations does my pet need to travel?

Regardless of where your pet is traveling, they will need certain vaccinations. The exact vaccinations they need are entirely dependent on the location they are traveling to. The one vaccination that is mandatory for every country your pet may travel to is a rabies vaccination.

Other vaccinations may also be necessary. These will be advised to you as relevant. In every situation, it is essential to keep your vaccinations current and to not miss a due date, even by one day. To do so could severely hinder your pets travel plans.

Source: Pawsome Pets UAE

Fighter profiles

Gabrieli Pessanha (Brazil)

Reigning Abu Dhabi World Pro champion in the 95kg division, virtually unbeatable in her weight class. Known for her pressure game but also dangerous with her back on the mat.

Nathiely de Jesus, 23, (Brazil)

Two-time World Pro champion renowned for her aggressive game. She is tall and most feared by her opponents for both her triangles and arm-bar attacks.

Thamara Ferreira, 24, (Brazil)

Since her brown belt days, Ferreira has been dominating the 70kg, in both the World Pro and the Grand Slams. With a very aggressive game.

Samantha Cook, 32, (Britain)

One of the biggest talents coming out of Europe in recent times. She is known for a highly technical game and bringing her A game to the table as always.

Kendall Reusing, 22, (USA)

Another young gun ready to explode in the big leagues. The Californian resident is a powerhouse in the -95kg division. Her duels with Pessanha have been highlights in the Grand Slams.

Martina Gramenius, 32, (Sweden)

Already a two-time Grand Slam champion in the current season. Gramenius won golds in the 70kg, in both in Moscow and Tokyo, to earn a spot in the inaugural Queen of Mats.

 

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Seven tips from Emirates NBD

1. Never respond to e-mails, calls or messages asking for account, card or internet banking details

2. Never store a card PIN (personal identification number) in your mobile or in your wallet

3. Ensure online shopping websites are secure and verified before providing card details

4. Change passwords periodically as a precautionary measure

5. Never share authentication data such as passwords, card PINs and OTPs  (one-time passwords) with third parties

6. Track bank notifications regarding transaction discrepancies

7. Report lost or stolen debit and credit cards immediately


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