During the hour-long interview, OI avoided all eye contact.
"The most difficult thing is looking at people who know about my condition," the Emirati says. "If I know that the other person knows about it, I can't look at them. It's too hard."
The married father of two from Sharjah discovered he had HIV nearly two years ago. Since then, his life has changed immeasurably.
He says he contracted the virus from one of a number of extramarital affairs, but is unable to pinpoint which one.
"I can't tell you exactly where it came from, but it is the result of something that is haram," he says. "I travelled a lot, met a lot of people and formed relationships with them."
However, it never occurred to the 46-year-old former policeman that he could be HIV positive. In fact, even hearing mention of the virus made him uncomfortable.
"I used to avoid it," he says. "If I heard reference to it somewhere on the TV it would bother me and I would try not to listen."
His eyes well with tears as he recalled the moment his doctor told him he was HIV positive.
"It felt like a loaded gun was pointed in my direction."
At the time, his biggest fear was whether he had infected his family. He had been married for about three years with two children. His wife and children were tested the following day, and to everyone's great relief, their tests were negative.
Apart from his family and doctor, he has tried to keep the matter secret, fearing the response he would receive from the community.
"This sickness is all about secrecy, especially in this [society] where everyone knows each other," he says. "Friends who did find out never ask about me, but I'm not one to hold grudges."
His wife agrees on the need for secrecy, saying it is a matter of protecting her husband. The community's lack of education about the virus makes this necessary, she says.
"Everyone understands this comes from [sexual relations], although it could've been from surgery or through a dental procedure - all the things we know that could bring on this sickness," she says. "But people will immediately understand that it's this bad thing and leave everything else. So we decided it's better not to tell anyone and to have piece of mind."
OI has been surprised by his wife's unconditional love and support. Looking back, he said he took both his family and his health for granted.
"My wife knew about my goings and comings and about my history before marriage," he says. "Maybe when we got married, I didn't listen to her when she disapproved, but I didn't expect this sickness to happen to me. These things don't occur to you when you're healthy and living your life.
"I always go back and say to myself why did I do this? I could've easily avoided it. But then I realised that this is what is written for me and I must have faith."
mismail@thenational.ae
The%20specs
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How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
How to play the stock market recovery in 2021?
If you are looking to build your long-term wealth in 2021 and beyond, the stock market is still the best place to do it as equities powered on despite the pandemic.
Investing in individual stocks is not for everyone and most private investors should stick to mutual funds and ETFs, but there are some thrilling opportunities for those who understand the risks.
Peter Garnry, head of equity strategy at Saxo Bank, says the 20 best-performing US and European stocks have delivered an average return year-to-date of 148 per cent, measured in local currency terms.
Online marketplace Etsy was the best performer with a return of 330.6 per cent, followed by communications software company Sinch (315.4 per cent), online supermarket HelloFresh (232.8 per cent) and fuel cells specialist NEL (191.7 per cent).
Mr Garnry says digital companies benefited from the lockdown, while green energy firms flew as efforts to combat climate change were ramped up, helped in part by the European Union’s green deal.
Electric car company Tesla would be on the list if it had been part of the S&P 500 Index, but it only joined on December 21. “Tesla has become one of the most valuable companies in the world this year as demand for electric vehicles has grown dramatically,” Mr Garnry says.
By contrast, the 20 worst-performing European stocks fell 54 per cent on average, with European banks hit by the economic fallout from the pandemic, while cruise liners and airline stocks suffered due to travel restrictions.
As demand for energy fell, the oil and gas industry had a tough year, too.
Mr Garnry says the biggest story this year was the “absolute crunch” in so-called value stocks, companies that trade at low valuations compared to their earnings and growth potential.
He says they are “heavily tilted towards financials, miners, energy, utilities and industrials, which have all been hit hard by the Covid-19 pandemic”. “The last year saw these cheap stocks become cheaper and expensive stocks have become more expensive.”
This has triggered excited talk about the “great value rotation” but Mr Garnry remains sceptical. “We need to see a breakout of interest rates combined with higher inflation before we join the crowd.”
Always remember that past performance is not a guarantee of future returns. Last year’s winners often turn out to be this year’s losers, and vice-versa.
Company%20Profile
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Stage 2
1. Mathieu van der Poel (NED) Alpecin-Fenix 4:18:30
2. Tadej Pogacar (SLV) UAE Team Emirates 0:00:06
3. Primoz Roglic (SLV) Jumbo-Visma 0:00:06
4. Wilco Kelderman (NED) Bora-Hansgrohe 0:00:06
5. Julian Alaphilippe (FRA) Deceuninck-QuickStep 0:00:08
APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)
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Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID
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In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter
Price: From Dh2,099
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5