Diary: think of the poor and resist temptation

"It is a time we learn to give and not take, a time you devote to become a better person and try harder not to do anything wrong. This is the real spirit of Ramadan," my mother said.

Ramadan is all about empathizing with the poor. This was the response my mother gave me when, as a six-year-old fasting for the first time, I asked her to explain Ramadan. She told me that by staying away from food and drink I would better understand those less fortunate and their struggle as they deal with hunger throughout the year. She said the hope was that it would inspire those of us who have more to help others.

"It is a time we learn to give and not take, a time you devote to become a better person and try harder not to do anything wrong. This is the real spirit of Ramadan," she said. Today, 24 years later, this is still my idea of Ramadan. But for myself and many other Muslims, especially those my age and younger, putting this belief system into practice is becoming more difficult each year. "Ramadan tents," "nice food" and "TV series" were among the responses I received when I asked a group of friends what first crossed their minds when they thought of Ramadan.

Only one of my friends said she thought mainly of worship and coming closer to God when she thought of Ramadan. Dozens of promotions in supermarkets, on the radio and on TV encourage us to buy and prepare food, rather than to provide it for those less fortunate. Ramadan tents that open until the early hours of the morning offering iftar or suhoor for as much as Dh150-200, provide an opportunity to spend hours chatting, playing cards and smoking shisha. This, I argue, moves us away from the true meaning of the holy month.

The TV shows and the new series broadcast on pan-Arab satellite channels during Ramadan keep us glued to the TV, when instead we should be in prayer or doing charity work. Often you feel Ramadan has been reduced to merely a time of staying away from food for some hours during the day - a time when people spend a lot of money on food and several hours sleeping before the break of the fast to keep up with long hours of TV entertainment, shisha and card playing.

Ramadan should bring the family and relatives closer. It should bring warmth to our days and break our daily routine. This still occurs today as family members exchange iftar invitations and gather on suhoor. But it also brings the concern that people may end up becoming poorer as they feel pressured to meet the social expectations of fancy iftars with tens of dishes on each day. The trend of food prices increasing during Ramadan does not help, and some people are forced to borrow money to get through what has become an expensive month of the year.

We need to be careful that Ramadan is not hijacked by a consumerist culture. If that were to happen, we would run the risk of failing to understand the struggle of those less fortunate. My mother's words of Ramadan being a time for giving and not taking are still fresh in my mind. Although we are giving, perhaps we are not giving to those who are most in need. @Email:[e-mail]