Emiratis with impaired hearing face numerous challenges in a society where their disability is often 'stigmatised'.
Locked in a world without sound and increasingly isolated, it took just a couple of hours on the internet for Zayed Hamad al Tamimi to find a Saudi online bulletin board for the deaf - and with it his first contact with others like him. That was five years ago and, from that simple click of the mouse, Zayed, 24, now runs his own website on which over 1,500 members, most from the UAE, discuss everything from politics and sport to the problems of living in a society that they say still stigmatises their disability.
"I just wanted to reach out to others like me," says Zayed, communicating by using his hands in a distinctive Emirati version of the standard sign language used in the US and the rest of the world. "We have so much to say and so many needs, but no one is listening or even trying to listen to us." The website, uaedeaf.com, was to change his life. One of the members was Sumaya al Suwaidi, a partially deaf woman who began to post regularly on the forum.
Their online discussions slowly developed into a virtual love story and the two are now married. "She is a determined and a great woman who doesn't allow her handicap to slow her down," says Zayed. Sumaya "felt comfortable with Zayed and my heart told me he was a good man", she said later in a text message. For disabled people such as Zayed and Sumaya there aren't many services provided for them as adults. The expense of setting up uaedeaf.com has been met entirely by Zayed, including Dh2,000 (US$600) to register the website in Dubai's Internet City and another Dh4,000 to design and set it up.
The money comes from his monthly salary of Dh10,000 as an operations officer at the Abu Dhabi Commercial Bank. The site is composed of different bulletin boards broken down into majalis, or meeting rooms. Popular topics include social issues, discussions about the royal families, arts and cultures, cooking, sport and even interior design. "I am glad we the deaf have somewhere we can go and just be ourselves," says Zayed.
He is currently looking for sponsors to expand the site. "It is not enough, I want to do more, I want to upgrade it and make it even more interactive and extensive," he says. Helping with the interview was Zayed's uncle, Abduallah al Tamimi. Abduallah, 30, was one of the few family members prepared to take the time to try to communicate with his nephew. "I just felt he needed someone to listen to him, to talk with him," he explains.
The uncle would sit patiently for hours with his nephew. Together they now have their own special language, a mix of standardised sign language and their own private signals. "Zayed is the only boy in the family with a hearing problem and so it broke my heart to see him isolated and frustrated," says Abduallah. Since he was 15, Zayed has depended on Abduallah to bridge the communication gap with the rest of his family.
"While they couldn't talk to him, Zayed's parents tried their best to support him and provide him with everything he needed," says Abduallah. The uncle would also sit and speak for Zayed when guests came over to the family home, translating what others were discussing so the young man did not feel left out. "With a bit of patience and creativity, you can easily have a nice conversation with someone with a hearing impairment," says Abduallah.
"But people just don't take the time to challenge themselves and immediately get frustrated when faced with something unfamiliar." Outside the home, the two men communicate by sign language in video calls, even though this can draw curious looks in cafes or malls. During the interview, from time to time someone would stop and just watch the discussion going on in sign language. Some stood nearby quietly for a few minutes and left after losing interest.
Others found it amusing and laughed among themselves and a third group of people appeared confused by the whole set-up but left politely after a quick pause. "I don't care if people are looking at me, I have to completely concentrate or I will miss out on a signal and miss out on a bit of the conversation," says Abduallah. Video calls cost more than regular calls, which Zayed says is unfair to those with special needs.
"We need video calls to communicate with each other, it is not an option with us," he says. Zayed would like to see more support from both the private and public sector. Although he holds a high-school diploma, he is frustrated by the lack of opportunities in further education for the deaf. "I want to get a higher degree and train in IT, but there are no specialised colleges here for us," he says.
However, according to Hanadi al Jaafari from the office of Educational Consultancy of the Zayed Higher Organisation for Humanitarian Care, Special Needs & Minors Affairs in Abu Dhabi, part of the problem with the deaf community is its failure to adapt. "They want the whole world to speak and understand sign language and that is impossible. They need to adapt more to the speaking world and try to fit in," says Mrs Jaafari, who has worked with deaf Emiratis of all ages and says they prefer to stay in a close-knit circle of people like themselves.
"A large number of them choose to live in isolation and in their own cocoon," she says. The care centre provides vocational workshops, services and hearing aids, with specialists to help the deaf become part of society. "Even when we find them universities outside the UAE, they opt to stay here at the centre where they formed close-knit friends. "They need to be a bit more brave, try to learn to read lips and give the speaking world a chance."
The frustrations of those who cannot hear properly are perhaps best illustrated on the internet. A quick Google search of "deaf in UAE" unearths numerous YouTube videos by Emiratis making statements such as: "We live in our own world, but want to be part of the world." Some add subtitles to their videos to make their words easier to understand as a means of reaching out to the non-deaf. One new site, created with Zayed's help, deafalcon.com, includes a 13-second YouTube video of a young boy speaking in sign language to the world.
"It is easy for deaf to understand what we said," says a posting under the video, signed by Khaled al Neyadi, an Emirati from Al Ain. Zayed says: "People treat me like everyone else until they try to talk to me and realise I am deaf and that is when they stop talking to me and run away." He recalls an incident in a bank at which he had an account where a clerk would not help him, treating him with suspicion.
"He thought I was a fraud and just trying to cause trouble," he says. The incident left him feeling "humiliated". In an attempt to change things, Zayed is planning to present the Sheikh Khalifa Abu Dhabi Fund with a proposal for a series of business projects. The fund provides small- and medium-size UAE businesses with zero-interest loans to promote entrepreneurship. One place where Zayed can feel normal is in the company of his wife, Sumaya. Her deafness is less serious and can be partially corrected with a hearing aid.
The couple are expecting their first baby in September and, if a boy, they have agreed to call the child Mansour, after Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al Nahyan. If a girl, she will be Fatima, after Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak, wife of the late Sheikh Zayed. To prepare for family life, Zayed is buying special equipment to help the couple to care for the newborn, including a bracelet that will vibrate whenever the baby cries. He has been forced to order the equipment from the US because it is not sold in the UAE.
It is yet another frustration for a couple who, while they want to connect with the rest of the world, also want to stand on their own feet. "I want to live with my wife and child in our own house away from the curious looks from other family members," says Zayed, who still lives with his wife in an extended-family home. "People can't help but watch us when we are having a conversation," he says, echoing similar complaints by others suffering from the same impairments.
"We are like everyone else, we just use a different language."