American splendour



With Archie scheduled to wed, S Subramanian ponders the comic character's career in public diplomacy. Over the course of history, many men have suffered the misfortune of having to choose between two women, but few have taken as long to decide as Archie Andrews. For 68 years now, Archie has bounced back and forth between Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge, veering often into romantic detours with other women, but always drawn back into exploration of what seems to be his eternal personal dilemma: blonde or brunette?

But perhaps that isn't entirely fair. Setting aside the mysterious ability of the Archie Comics school of illustrators to draw only one type of female figure - which makes Betty and Veronica look like two versions of the same sleek, hourglass-inspired chassis with differently-coloured hoods - the two characters are significantly unalike. Betty is hardworking, generous, patient and honest, as American as apple pie. Veronica is wealthy, spoiled, manipulative and selfish: she reeks faintly of European blue blood. So it comes some surprise to learn that all-American Archie will marry Veronica in an August issue - that he passed on apple pie and chose the rich, frosted gateau instead.

Lurking behind the choice is the question of why Archie has to choose at all. Cynics - rightly convinced that marketing departments will toy with even our most sacred emotions - insist that the wedding will be revealed in time to have been a dream or a hop into an alternate dimension. Pessimists predict the imminent end of Archie Comics, and console themselves only by observing the state of other American periodicals: if the New York Times is in dire straits, how can Archie thrive? Wise international readers, however, may recognise in this development a dolorous last gasp - not only for Archie and Archie, but also for an era in which a country's image could be constructed for generations of foreign readers (particularly south Asian readers) by the children's literature it happened to print and export.

Entirely by coincidence, the two years in which I read the most Archie were 1989 and 1990, roughly around the time when India was reorienting itself, philosophically and strategically, away from the Soviet Union and towards the United States. Of course, I knew nothing of such geopolitical shifts: I was more fascinated by Archie's teenaged world. In Riverdale, students nominally attended school but spent remarkably little time studying. They played all-American letter sports, lived in all-American suburbia, and drove all-American jalopies. They were so incessantly out on dates, swapping partners and saliva with such regularity, that they probably made thousands of young adults around the world ill-prepared for how diabolically difficult dating really is. Much the same could be said, at least in my case, about the consumption of hamburgers and milkshakes, the perennial diet of Archie's friend Jughead Jones. I ordered my first burger and milkshake, at a faux diner in New Delhi, entirely in tribute to Jughead and his gluttonous lifestyle. Ten minutes later, when that cargo proved to be too substantial for my eight-year-old stomach, I gracefully threw it up in the car park.

Before Archie and America, there was Misha. Every month I received a copy of this uncomplicated Soviet publication, enclosed in its plain brown-paper covers, with its homey illustrations and glossy pages that smelled (at least in my memory) of pine, salt and long distances. Misha was intensely old-school: I read heartwarming socialist fables of peasants, wolves, sailors and naughty mice; I played glue-on games; I learnt, at least in theory, how to make model aeroplanes from things found around the house (just ask your mother for ice-cream sticks and rubber-bands); I wrote to a pen-pal in Vladivostok.

Misha was part of a whole raft of children's publications that arrived in India from the Soviet Union during the Cold War, during which India claimed to be non-aligned even as it threw an arm around Moscow's shoulder. At the frequent Russian book fairs at my school, I paged through thick volumes of folk tales from the Baltic states, brilliant books for boys about boys (usually involving swimming, the circus or dreams of becoming a cosmonaut), and primer after primer on how to get good enough at chess to play Mikhail Botvinnik. My mental image of the Soviet Union was, consequently, one of apple-cheeked peasant boys who sat about eating black bread and playing chess, only getting up occasionally to chase away the Baba Yaga.

Even before Misha, Indian children had absorbed a manufactured idea of another country, this one from the books of Enid Blyton. Blyton's England was a pastoral idyll untouched by its colonies, or indeed by much of the world south of Dover. Groups of children on their hols would bust crime syndicates with the help of disguises and dogs, and then they would head back to boarding school - not a hellish place like George Orwell's St Cyprian's, but something more like a jolly holiday home, with long afternoons of tennis and midnights spent putting away feasts of meat pies, buttered bread, lemonade and condensed milk. This image of England, with its glowing, unchanging and unchangeable outlines, was an aspirational one; so were Misha's Soviet Union and Archie's America.

In one way, these aspirations worked because they embedded themselves firmly in a time warp; in their immutability lay a comforting sense of security and order. But this changelessness worked against them whenever newer, flashier aspirations came along. Although I didn't know it then, Archie was outdated even in 1990: for all the rampant dating and bikini-clad temptation, there was no trace of hormone-powered sex; Archie's only black friend, a consummate jock, dated the only black girl in school. Today, the anachronisms are positively painful. In a 2007 Betty and Veronica double digest, Veronica urges Betty to stop writing in an old-fashioned diary: "Computerise! Get with it... It's cyberspace time!" Then she shatters her grasp of the cutting-edge by holding up a floppy disk - an actually floppy disk, mind, not one of those smaller, less floppy diskettes that later took the name - and exclaiming: "I hide my secret thoughts on this computer disk! It's my hi-tech diary!"

The aspirations of today's 10-year-old Indians are still tethered to America, but they are no longer built by children's literature. Instead, they are shaped by our stock villains: television and the internet. In their reruns of Friends, kids around the world get Archie redux: still plenty of rampant dating, partner-swapping and all-American pizza, but this time in Manhattan instead of Middletown, USA. Online, between MySpace and YouTube alone, there is enough detail to build a more updated, more nuanced image of America then we could ever hope to glean from Archie. Something so quaint as a comic book can't hope to compete.

Except that, given the ubiquity of the internet, the image of America it presents becomes everybody's image of America; any sense of intimate familiarity with an idea must be diminished by the prospect of sharing it with billions of co-owners scattered around the globe. When the moment captured by this image lapses, as all moments do, it will be difficult to feel much personalized nostalgia for that loss. There is, on the other hand, still unbounded Indian nostalgia for Misha and other miscellaneous Soviet jetsam, and considerable nostalgia for Archie, even though it remains in print. (This isn't as contradictory as it sounds; it is nostalgia not for the product but for a bygone reading experience that is impossible to regain.) It doesn't matter that both Misha and the Soviet Union are dead, or that, in the United States, Archie is now sold primarily at supermarket checkout counters next to tabloids and gossip magazines. On the contrary, that helps. It's easier to lavish nostalgia upon the fictitious, elemental America of Archie, an America that is unfamiliar to Americans because it probably never existed, and so an America that belongs very much to us.

S Subramanian, a regular contributor to The Review, is a journalist based in New Delhi.

The BIO:

He became the first Emirati to climb Mount Everest in 2011, from the south section in Nepal

He ascended Mount Everest the next year from the more treacherous north Tibetan side

By 2015, he had completed the Explorers Grand Slam

Last year, he conquered K2, the world’s second-highest mountain located on the Pakistan-Chinese border

He carries dried camel meat, dried dates and a wheat mixture for the final summit push

His new goal is to climb 14 peaks that are more than 8,000 metres above sea level

The alternatives

• Founded in 2014, Telr is a payment aggregator and gateway with an office in Silicon Oasis. It’s e-commerce entry plan costs Dh349 monthly (plus VAT). QR codes direct customers to an online payment page and merchants can generate payments through messaging apps.

• Business Bay’s Pallapay claims 40,000-plus active merchants who can invoice customers and receive payment by card. Fees range from 1.99 per cent plus Dh1 per transaction depending on payment method and location, such as online or via UAE mobile.

• Tap started in May 2013 in Kuwait, allowing Middle East businesses to bill, accept, receive and make payments online “easier, faster and smoother” via goSell and goCollect. It supports more than 10,000 merchants. Monthly fees range from US$65-100, plus card charges of 2.75-3.75 per cent and Dh1.2 per sale.

2checkout’s “all-in-one payment gateway and merchant account” accepts payments in 200-plus markets for 2.4-3.9 per cent, plus a Dh1.2-Dh1.8 currency conversion charge. The US provider processes online shop and mobile transactions and has 17,000-plus active digital commerce users.

• PayPal is probably the best-known online goods payment method - usually used for eBay purchases -  but can be used to receive funds, providing everyone’s signed up. Costs from 2.9 per cent plus Dh1.2 per transaction.

The specs

Engine: Turbocharged four-cylinder 2.7-litre

Power: 325hp

Torque: 500Nm

Transmission: 10-speed automatic

Price: From Dh189,700

On sale: now

if you go
THE BIO: Mohammed Ashiq Ali

Proudest achievement: “I came to a new country and started this shop”

Favourite TV programme: the news

Favourite place in Dubai: Al Fahidi. “They started the metro in 2009 and I didn’t take it yet.”

Family: six sons in Dubai and a daughter in Faisalabad

 

TRAP

Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue

Director: M Night Shyamalan

Rating: 3/5

Tree of Hell

Starring: Raed Zeno, Hadi Awada, Dr Mohammad Abdalla

Director: Raed Zeno

Rating: 4/5

A%20QUIET%20PLACE
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LUKA CHUPPI

Director: Laxman Utekar

Producer: Maddock Films, Jio Cinema

Cast: Kartik Aaryan, Kriti Sanon​​​​​​​, Pankaj Tripathi, Vinay Pathak, Aparshakti Khurana

Rating: 3/5

Match info

Uefa Champions League Group H

Juventus v Valencia, Tuesday, midnight (UAE)

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Singham Again

Director: Rohit Shetty

Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone

Rating: 3/5

Pad Man

Dir: R Balki

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonam Kapoor, Radhika Apte

Three-and-a-half stars

FROM%20THE%20ASHES
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding

Tales of Yusuf Tadros

Adel Esmat (translated by Mandy McClure)

Hoopoe

Volunteers offer workers a lifeline

Community volunteers have swung into action delivering food packages and toiletries to the men.

When provisions are distributed, the men line up in long queues for packets of rice, flour, sugar, salt, pulses, milk, biscuits, shaving kits, soap and telecom cards.

Volunteers from St Mary’s Catholic Church said some workers came to the church to pray for their families and ask for assistance.

Boxes packed with essential food items were distributed to workers in the Dubai Investments Park and Ras Al Khaimah camps last week. Workers at the Sonapur camp asked for Dh1,600 towards their gas bill.

“Especially in this year of tolerance we consider ourselves privileged to be able to lend a helping hand to our needy brothers in the Actco camp," Father Lennie Connully, parish priest of St Mary’s.

Workers spoke of their helplessness, seeing children’s marriages cancelled because of lack of money going home. Others told of their misery of being unable to return home when a parent died.

“More than daily food, they are worried about not sending money home for their family,” said Kusum Dutta, a volunteer who works with the Indian consulate.

COMPANY%20PROFILE
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Bio:

Favourite Quote: Prophet Mohammad's quotes There is reward for kindness to every living thing and A good man treats women with honour

Favourite Hobby: Serving poor people 

Favourite Book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Favourite food: Fish and vegetables

Favourite place to visit: London

DMZ facts
  • The DMZ was created as a buffer after the 1950-53 Korean War.
  • It runs 248 kilometers across the Korean Peninsula and is 4km wide.
  • The zone is jointly overseen by the US-led United Nations Command and North Korea.
  • It is littered with an estimated 2 million mines, tank traps, razor wire fences and guard posts.
  • Donald Trump and Kim Jong-Un met at a building in Panmunjom, where an armistice was signed to stop the Korean War.
  • Panmunjom is 52km north of the Korean capital Seoul and 147km south of Pyongyang, North Korea’s capital.
  • Former US president Bill Clinton visited Panmunjom in 1993, while Ronald Reagan visited the DMZ in 1983, George W. Bush in 2002 and Barack Obama visited a nearby military camp in 2012. 
  • Mr Trump planned to visit in November 2017, but heavy fog that prevented his helicopter from landing.

Shubh Mangal Saavdhan
Directed by: RS Prasanna
Starring: Ayushmann Khurrana, Bhumi Pednekar

THE BIO

Favourite book: ‘Purpose Driven Life’ by Rick Warren

Favourite travel destination: Switzerland

Hobbies: Travelling and following motivational speeches and speakers

Favourite place in UAE: Dubai Museum

Our legal consultant

Name: Dr Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

How to help

Call the hotline on 0502955999 or send "thenational" to the following numbers:

2289 - Dh10

2252 - Dh50

6025 - Dh20

6027 - Dh100

6026 - Dh200

Cinco in numbers

Dh3.7 million

The estimated cost of Victoria Swarovski’s gem-encrusted Michael Cinco wedding gown

46

The number, in kilograms, that Swarovski’s wedding gown weighed.

1,000

The hours it took to create Cinco’s vermillion petal gown, as seen in his atelier [note, is the one he’s playing with in the corner of a room]

50

How many looks Cinco has created in a new collection to celebrate Ballet Philippines’ 50th birthday

3,000

The hours needed to create the butterfly gown worn by Aishwarya Rai to the 2018 Cannes Film Festival.

1.1 million

The number of followers that Michael Cinco’s Instagram account has garnered.

The five pillars of Islam

1. Fasting 

2. Prayer 

3. Hajj 

4. Shahada 

5. Zakat 

Scores:

Day 4

England 290 & 346
Sri Lanka 336 & 226-7 (target 301)

Sri Lanka require another 75 runs with three wickets remaining

Company%20Profile
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Company%20Profile
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The specs

Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cyl, 48V hybrid

Transmission: eight-speed automatic

Power: 325bhp

Torque: 450Nm

Price: Dh359,000

On sale: now 

Spec%20sheet
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Biography

Her family: She has four sons, aged 29, 27, 25 and 24 and is a grandmother-of-nine

Favourite book: Flashes of Thought by Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid

Favourite drink: Water

Her hobbies: Reading and volunteer work

Favourite music: Classical music

Her motto: I don't wait, I initiate

 

 

 

 

 

The specs
Engine: 2.7-litre 4-cylinder Turbomax
Power: 310hp
Torque: 583Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh192,500
On sale: Now
APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)

Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits

Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine

Storage: 128/256/512GB

Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4

Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps

Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID

Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight

In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter

Price: From Dh2,099

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Managing the separation process

  • Choose your nursery carefully in the first place
  • Relax – and hopefully your child will follow suit
  • Inform the staff in advance of your child’s likes and dislikes.
  • If you need some extra time to talk to the teachers, make an appointment a few days in advance, rather than attempting to chat on your child’s first day
  • The longer you stay, the more upset your child will become. As difficult as it is, walk away. Say a proper goodbye and reassure your child that you will be back
  • Be patient. Your child might love it one day and hate it the next
  • Stick at it. Don’t give up after the first day or week. It takes time for children to settle into a new routine.And, finally, don’t feel guilty.  
Top investing tips for UAE residents in 2021

Build an emergency fund: Make sure you have enough cash to cover six months of expenses as a buffer against unexpected problems before you begin investing, advises Steve Cronin, the founder of DeadSimpleSaving.com.

Think long-term: When you invest, you need to have a long-term mindset, so don’t worry about momentary ups and downs in the stock market.

Invest worldwide: Diversify your investments globally, ideally by way of a global stock index fund.

Is your money tied up: Avoid anything where you cannot get your money back in full within a month at any time without any penalty.

Skip past the promises: “If an investment product is offering more than 10 per cent return per year, it is either extremely risky or a scam,” Mr Cronin says.

Choose plans with low fees: Make sure that any funds you buy do not charge more than 1 per cent in fees, Mr Cronin says. “If you invest by yourself, you can easily stay below this figure.” Managed funds and commissionable investments often come with higher fees.

Be sceptical about recommendations: If someone suggests an investment to you, ask if they stand to gain, advises Mr Cronin. “If they are receiving commission, they are unlikely to recommend an investment that’s best for you.”

Get financially independent: Mr Cronin advises UAE residents to pursue financial independence. Start with a Google search and improve your knowledge via expat investing websites or Facebook groups such as SimplyFI. 

THE SPECS

Engine: 1.5-litre, four-cylinder turbo

Transmission: seven-speed dual clutch automatic

Power: 169bhp

Torque: 250Nm

Price: Dh54,500

On sale: now

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: ARDH Collective
Based: Dubai
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Sector: Sustainability
Total funding: Self funded
Number of employees: 4
Company%20Profile
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A Cat, A Man, and Two Women
Junichiro
Tamizaki
Translated by Paul McCarthy
Daunt Books 

FIXTURES

Nov 04-05: v Western Australia XI, Perth
Nov 08-11: v Cricket Australia XI, Adelaide
Nov 15-18 v Cricket Australia XI, Townsville (d/n)
Nov 23-27: 1ST TEST v AUSTRALIA, Brisbane
Dec 02-06: 2ND TEST v AUSTRALIA, Adelaide (d/n)
Dec 09-10: v Cricket Australia XI, Perth
Dec 14-18: 3RD TEST v AUSTRALIA, Perth
Dec 26-30 4TH TEST v AUSTRALIA, Melbourne
Jan 04-08: 5TH TEST v AUSTRALIA, Sydney

Note: d/n = day/night


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