Spare a thought for Joey Barton, the Newcastle midfielder, jailbird and, in the vernacular of the terraces, a bit of a nutter.
He has just been released from prison after being sentenced to six months for inflicting grievous bodily harm on then-teammate Ousmane Dabo in a training ground punch-up last year.
No, that's wrong. He only got a suspended sentence for beating up Dabo so badly that he almost lost the use of one eye. Barton, 25, has, in fact, just been released from prison for beating up a teenager outside a McDonalds in Liverpool - not, incidentally, the same teenager whom Barton assaulted in 2005 in Thailand. Nor, indeed, the other teenager in whose eye he stubbed out a lit cigar at a party in 2004.
Anyway, poor Joey has not only been severely punished by the courts for beating up someone or other (though certainly not the Liverpool taxi driver whom he was accused of assaulting last year - he was cleared of that charge) but he also now faces an unprecedented playing ban and massive fine from the Football Association.
Despite protests from Newcastle, football's governing body in England has decided to get tough with Barton and charge him with violent conduct...something they manifestly failed to do after Barton savagely kicked Dickson Etuhu in the derby game against Sunderland last November.
Barton has until August 13 to request a personal hearing and Newcastle say he will do just that. Quite why remains a mystery as he has already admitted in court assaulting Dabo when the two were teammates at Manchester City.
Newcastle are trying to maintain that Barton has suffered enough. They have fined him, they say, for the McDonalds incident and did not pay him his £65,000-a-week (Dh 467,000-odd) wages during the six weeks or so that he was in prison.
And The Times has revealed that they have also banned him from using the corporate boxes at St James's Park and from getting the occasional use of one of the club's chauffeurs - something that might have come in handy for the self-confessed alcoholic.
Newcastle feel that, by the FA charging Barton after he has already been punished by the courts, they are being unfairly penalised because his misdemeanours on the Dabo front were committed when he played for somebody else.
The club said in a statement over the weekend: "Newcastle United can confirm that it has received documentation from the Football Association stating that it is charging Joey Barton with misconduct in relation to the incident that occurred with Ousmane Dabo in May, 2007, at a time when he was a registered player of Manchester City.
The FA, though, is determined to show that it can keep its own house in order even if, at times, it clearly can't.
Meanwhile, Dabo himself, who now plays for Lazio, believes that the 'punishment' meted out by Newcastle, in addition to the unflagging support Barton has had from Kevin Keegan, the manager, amounts to a complete disregard for basic standards of decency. "English clubs teach you lots of lessons," the Frenchman told The Sun newspaper. "But in this case, they truly lack morals.
As for Barton, he is back in training and Keegan reckons that, despite his enforced absence away from the football field, it will not take him long to regain full fitness.
Just how much good that will do him with the FA possibly about to impose a playing ban that could stretch of 15 matches, remains to be seen.
So spare a thought for Joey Barton. And, in passing, for his victims, too.
@Email:sports@thenational.ae
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
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Scoreline
Swansea 2
Grimes 20' (pen), Celina, 29'
Man City 3
Silva 69', Nordfeldt 78' (og), Aguero 88'
The biog
Name: Capt Shadia Khasif
Position: Head of the Criminal Registration Department at Hatta police
Family: Five sons and three daughters
The first female investigator in Hatta.
Role Model: Father
She believes that there is a solution to every problem
Salah in numbers
€39 million: Liverpool agreed a fee, including add-ons, in the region of €39m (nearly Dh176m) to sign Salah from Roma last year. The exchange rate at the time meant that cost the Reds £34.3m - a bargain given his performances since.
13: The 25-year-old player was not a complete stranger to the Premier League when he arrived at Liverpool this summer. However, during his previous stint at Chelsea, he made just 13 Premier League appearances, seven of which were off the bench, and scored only twice.
57: It was in the 57th minute of his Liverpool bow when Salah opened his account for the Reds in the 3-3 draw with Watford back in August. The Egyptian prodded the ball over the line from close range after latching onto Roberto Firmino's attempted lob.
7: Salah's best scoring streak of the season occurred between an FA Cup tie against West Brom on January 27 and a Premier League win over Newcastle on March 3. He scored for seven games running in all competitions and struck twice against Tottenham.
3: This season Salah became the first player in Premier League history to win the player of the month award three times during a term. He was voted as the division's best player in November, February and March.
40: Salah joined Roger Hunt and Ian Rush as the only players in Liverpool's history to have scored 40 times in a single season when he headed home against Bournemouth at Anfield earlier this month.
30: The goal against Bournemouth ensured the Egyptian achieved another milestone in becoming the first African player to score 30 times across one Premier League campaign.
8: As well as his fine form in England, Salah has also scored eight times in the tournament phase of this season's Champions League. Only Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo, with 15 to his credit, has found the net more often in the group stages and knockout rounds of Europe's premier club competition.
Company%20Profile
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MATCH INFO
Manchester United v Brighton, Sunday, 6pm UAE
MATCH INFO
Champions League quarter-final, first leg
Tottenham Hotspur v Manchester City, Tuesday, 11pm (UAE)
Matches can be watched on BeIN Sports
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Cricket World Cup League 2
UAE squad
Rahul Chopra (captain), Aayan Afzal Khan, Ali Naseer, Aryansh Sharma, Basil Hameed, Dhruv Parashar, Junaid Siddique, Muhammad Farooq, Muhammad Jawadullah, Muhammad Waseem, Omid Rahman, Rahul Bhatia, Tanish Suri, Vishnu Sukumaran, Vriitya Aravind
Fixtures
Friday, November 1 – Oman v UAE
Sunday, November 3 – UAE v Netherlands
Thursday, November 7 – UAE v Oman
Saturday, November 9 – Netherlands v UAE
The biog
Name: Timothy Husband
Nationality: New Zealand
Education: Degree in zoology at The University of Sydney
Favourite book: Lemurs of Madagascar by Russell A Mittermeier
Favourite music: Billy Joel
Weekends and holidays: Talking about animals or visiting his farm in Australia
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
How to watch Ireland v Pakistan in UAE
When: The one-off Test starts on Friday, May 11
What time: Each day’s play is scheduled to start at 2pm UAE time.
TV: The match will be broadcast on OSN Sports Cricket HD. Subscribers to the channel can also stream the action live on OSN Play.
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Disclaimer
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville
Rating: 4/5
FORSPOKEN
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Diablo%20IV
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Starfield
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Company%20Profile
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The biog
Favourite food: Tabbouleh, greek salad and sushi
Favourite TV show: That 70s Show
Favourite animal: Ferrets, they are smart, sensitive, playful and loving
Favourite holiday destination: Seychelles, my resolution for 2020 is to visit as many spiritual retreats and animal shelters across the world as I can
Name of first pet: Eddy, a Persian cat that showed up at our home
Favourite dog breed: I love them all - if I had to pick Yorkshire terrier for small dogs and St Bernard's for big
The specs
Engine: 4-litre twin-turbo V8
Transmission: eight-speed PDK
Power: 630bhp
Torque: 820Nm
Price: Dh683,200
On sale: now
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale
Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni
Director: Amith Krishnan
Rating: 3.5/5
Results:
First Test: New Zealand 30 British & Irish Lions 15
Second Test: New Zealand 21 British & Irish Lions 24
Third Test: New Zealand 15 British & Irish Lions 15
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre 4-cylinder petrol
Power: 154bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Transmission: 7-speed automatic with 8-speed sports option
Price: From Dh79,600
On sale: Now
SPECS
Engine: Two-litre four-cylinder turbo
Power: 235hp
Torque: 350Nm
Transmission: Nine-speed automatic
Price: From Dh167,500 ($45,000)
On sale: Now
Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
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