MANCHESTER // Some managers sign specialist goalscorers. Others sell them.
Louis van Gaal is the man who dispensed with Javier Hernandez and who argued he did not want competition for places in attack. He has spent £285 million (Dh1.5 billion) without buying an out-and-out finisher, perhaps rationalising that his side create them too few chances to flourish.
How damning that he was condemned to defeat by Southampton's striking substitute, Charlie Austin, a newcomer flourishing at Old Trafford.
He was the Premier League's fourth-highest scorer last season, contributing 18 goals for relegated Queens Park Rangers.
“Great numbers of goals,” Ronald Koeman said. “That is the reason we liked to sign Charlie.”
It was a simple logic that was justified immediately.
What a start for Austin, delivering a winner seven minutes and 43 seconds into his debut. What a reward for Koeman, Van Gaal’s protege turned enemy, who signed Austin for a cut-price fee of £4m, and saw the newcomer secure Saints’ second successive win at Old Trafford.
Read more: Louis van Gaal concedes being at Manchester United is 'not an easy job at the moment'
That was a feat they last achieved in 1969, the start of Manchester United's awkward adjustment to life after Matt Busby. They have greater resources but are struggling similarly without Alex Ferguson.
This provided a microcosm of the problems under Van Gaal.
Devoid of ideas, invention or incision, lacking ambition or attacking football, failing to excite or entertain, United are barren and boring. They mustered one shot on target. That, from Daley Blind, was tame and saved easily by Fraser Forster.
They were booed off after the final whistle. Significantly, too, the dissent began long before then.
As Van Gaal’s dullards left the pitch after 45 minutes of utter nothingness, the song blaring out on the tannoy was “Glory, glory, Man United”. Glory? Gory, perhaps. Boring, definitely. Scoring, definitely not.
Rarely has a soundtrack been less appropriate. They can play upbeat music on the PA but the more meaningful sound came from the crowd.
Boos greeted a hopelessly misplaced pass by Matteo Darmian after 38 minutes.
The first chant of “attack, attack, attack” came five minutes before the interval. The sentiments have been heard before, but never as early. It is rare that United are jeered the week after winning at Anfield but these are not normal times.
Online gallery: Charlie Austin and Southampton shock Manchester United at Old Trafford
Ridiculously, United have drawn a blank in 11 successive first halves at home. They have not struck before the break at Old Trafford since September. Only one of their players, Memphis Depay, has done so in the Premier League goal at home all season.
Van Gaal’s slow starters instead have a capacity to waste time in passages of play that are notable purely for their tediousness. Van Gaal has turned Old Trafford into a wasteland. The paying public are rebelling ever more.
Huge cheers greeted Juan Mata’s arrival and Marouane Fellaini’s exit. They went far beyond the appreciation of an incoming player, though the craftsman certainly made a welcome difference. The Belgian had rumbled around the midfield cluelessly, crashing into opponents and generally giving the impression everything involving him happened more by accident than design.
When Adnan Januzaj, exiled to Borussia Dortmund in the summer, came on, he also received a rapturous reception.
The overlooked attackers have become cause celebres.
Van Gaal’s focus lies at the other end of the pitch, where problems are mushrooming anyway.
Darmian, United’s only fit senior full-back was taken off, spitting blood and with chest and rib problems.
Van Gaal had already determined he needed defensive reinforcements and that search should be accelerated now.
As it was, the Dutchman had switched to a lopsided wing-back formation to match Southampton’s system. Van Gaal may deem it a case of rigorous preparation, but it backfired.
It also smacked of cautiousness that frustrates many at a club with a tradition of cavalier attacking. Jesse Lingard was wasted in a more defensive role.
Southampton were more coherent. Sadio Mane and Victor Wanyama could have scored winners. Austin did, illustrating why other managers sign specialist goalscorers.
Not Van Gaal, though.
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Singham Again
Director: Rohit Shetty
Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone
Rating: 3/5
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Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
Cricket World Cup League 2
UAE squad
Rahul Chopra (captain), Aayan Afzal Khan, Ali Naseer, Aryansh Sharma, Basil Hameed, Dhruv Parashar, Junaid Siddique, Muhammad Farooq, Muhammad Jawadullah, Muhammad Waseem, Omid Rahman, Rahul Bhatia, Tanish Suri, Vishnu Sukumaran, Vriitya Aravind
Fixtures
Friday, November 1 – Oman v UAE
Sunday, November 3 – UAE v Netherlands
Thursday, November 7 – UAE v Oman
Saturday, November 9 – Netherlands v UAE
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Director: Jon M Chu
Stars: Cynthia Erivo, Ariana Grande, Jonathan Bailey
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
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THREE
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Nayla%20Al%20Khaja%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStarring%3A%20Jefferson%20Hall%2C%20Faten%20Ahmed%2C%20Noura%20Alabed%2C%20Saud%20Alzarooni%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%203.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
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Date started: March 2019
Founder: Dr Ali Al Hammadi
Based: Abu Dhabi
Sector: AgriTech
Initial investment: None to date
Partners/Incubators: UAE Space Agency/Krypto Labs
Disclaimer
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville
Rating: 4/5
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Sector: Technology
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Founders: Eslam Hussein and Pulkit Ganjoo
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Sector: Transport
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Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
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Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
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Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
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