Wolfie, the Wolverhampton Wanderers mascot, must be glad to be back in the Premier League, not least because he will no longer have to visit places such as Bristol City, the 1999 scene of his you-couldn't-make-it-up fisticuffs with three little pig mascots. Whether he huffed and he puffed was not reported at the time, but here he is with recently departed British comedy legend Barry Chuckle. @Wolfie_Official
West Bromwich Albion mascot Boiler Man caused a stir when he was unveiled this weekend by the English Championship club. @MikeyGregory
No list of football mascots is complete without this nightmarish creation of artist David Shrigley. In ordinary circumstances, if you saw this anywhere near your kids, you’d grab the nearest blunt instrument and do your worst. But this spiky lunatic is actually Scottish Championship side Patrick Thistle’s Kingsley, who last year ran for a spot on Glasgow City Council. Presumably with some kind of remit to stalk your dreams and stare in your windows at night. @ThistleMascot
English League One outfit Southend United are clearly experts at this kind of thing. The comically conical head of Sammy the Shrimp makes him vaguely resemble a Klu Klux Klan member who left his hood in the colour wash. His dolphin-sheep pal in a dodgy wig is actually named Elvis J Eel. @SammyTheShrimp_
H'Angus the Monkey, the emblematic ape of English National League side Hartlepool United, doesn't look particularly unhinged. But not only is he named after a Napoleonic Wars incident when a monkey was hanged in the northern town for being a French spy, but he has also been elected mayor of Hartlepool and was once led away by stewards at a match after getting involved in lewd antics while inebriated @hangus99
Like the child who forgot the school fancy-dress day, the City Gent of English League One outfit Bradford City hasn't tried all that hard with his outfit: it's basically a bloke in a bowler hat. Lenny Berry had to give up his role of 20 years in 2013, though, because a diabetes-enforced weight loss made him 'too skinny' to play the rotund character. @LennyCityGent
Watford's Harry the Hornet found himself stung by criticism from Crystal Palace's then-manager Sam Allardyce after mocking falling-over-friendly winger Wilfried Zaha by diving at his feet after an EPL game. How could you punish a face like that? Even if he does look like a dopier version of Disney dog Pluto. @1HHornet
You too can break into the world of questionable football mascots: last week, English League One side Fleetwood Town were inviting applications to become Captain Cod, quite possibly the worst-named superhero of all time Head to the club's official site for details of the role. www.fleetwoodtownfc.com
Cyril the Swan was a legendary mascot in his heyday, but sadly mostly for acts of violence, which included English Championship club Swansea City's floppy-headed bird ripping the head off Millwall's lion mascot. Cyril certainly has the deranged look of a real-life swan down pat, anyway. www.swanseacity.com
Reigning English Premier League champions Manchester City might have played some out-of-this-world football last season, but that doesn't explain past mascots Moonchester and Moonbeam, beyond some pretty corny wordplay justifying the sky-blue aliens' existence. www.mancity.com
Wolfie, the Wolverhampton Wanderers mascot, must be glad to be back in the Premier League, not least because he will no longer have to visit places such as Bristol City, the 1999 scene of his you-couldn't-make-it-up fisticuffs with three little pig mascots. Whether he huffed and he puffed was not reported at the time, but here he is with recently departed British comedy legend Barry Chuckle. @Wolfie_Official
West Bromwich Albion mascot Boiler Man caused a stir when he was unveiled this weekend by the English Championship club. @MikeyGregory
No list of football mascots is complete without this nightmarish creation of artist David Shrigley. In ordinary circumstances, if you saw this anywhere near your kids, you’d grab the nearest blunt instrument and do your worst. But this spiky lunatic is actually Scottish Championship side Patrick Thistle’s Kingsley, who last year ran for a spot on Glasgow City Council. Presumably with some kind of remit to stalk your dreams and stare in your windows at night. @ThistleMascot
English League One outfit Southend United are clearly experts at this kind of thing. The comically conical head of Sammy the Shrimp makes him vaguely resemble a Klu Klux Klan member who left his hood in the colour wash. His dolphin-sheep pal in a dodgy wig is actually named Elvis J Eel. @SammyTheShrimp_
H'Angus the Monkey, the emblematic ape of English National League side Hartlepool United, doesn't look particularly unhinged. But not only is he named after a Napoleonic Wars incident when a monkey was hanged in the northern town for being a French spy, but he has also been elected mayor of Hartlepool and was once led away by stewards at a match after getting involved in lewd antics while inebriated @hangus99
Like the child who forgot the school fancy-dress day, the City Gent of English League One outfit Bradford City hasn't tried all that hard with his outfit: it's basically a bloke in a bowler hat. Lenny Berry had to give up his role of 20 years in 2013, though, because a diabetes-enforced weight loss made him 'too skinny' to play the rotund character. @LennyCityGent
Watford's Harry the Hornet found himself stung by criticism from Crystal Palace's then-manager Sam Allardyce after mocking falling-over-friendly winger Wilfried Zaha by diving at his feet after an EPL game. How could you punish a face like that? Even if he does look like a dopier version of Disney dog Pluto. @1HHornet
You too can break into the world of questionable football mascots: last week, English League One side Fleetwood Town were inviting applications to become Captain Cod, quite possibly the worst-named superhero of all time Head to the club's official site for details of the role. www.fleetwoodtownfc.com
Cyril the Swan was a legendary mascot in his heyday, but sadly mostly for acts of violence, which included English Championship club Swansea City's floppy-headed bird ripping the head off Millwall's lion mascot. Cyril certainly has the deranged look of a real-life swan down pat, anyway. www.swanseacity.com
Reigning English Premier League champions Manchester City might have played some out-of-this-world football last season, but that doesn't explain past mascots Moonchester and Moonbeam, beyond some pretty corny wordplay justifying the sky-blue aliens' existence. www.mancity.com
Wolfie, the Wolverhampton Wanderers mascot, must be glad to be back in the Premier League, not least because he will no longer have to visit places such as Bristol City, the 1999 scene of his you-couldn't-make-it-up fisticuffs with three little pig mascots. Whether he huffed and he puffed was not reported at the time, but here he is with recently departed British comedy legend Barry Chuckle. @Wolfie_Official
