With the start of the 2016/17 season fast approaching, it is time for Thomas Woods to stick his neck on the line and make some outlandish predictions about the next nine months of action.
Here are 10 outcomes that, while unlikely, he can see coming to fruition in the right circumstances.
For full disclosure, here are last season's predictions which didn't go too well.
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1. Arsenal to be in the bottom half on Christmas Day
Arsene Wenger’s side finished second last season and will no doubt challenge the top four again, but it will need a second-half-of-the-season surge.
Two factors suggest they might be slow starters in 16/17 - the freshness of many of the squad and the fixture list.
There’s barely been a month’s turnaround between the end of Euro 2016 and the start of the Premier League season, while Italy, Spain and Germany all have another week’s rest.
Mesut Ozil, Olivier Giroud, Laurent Koscielny and Aaron Ramsey all played deep into the Euros and will not be 100 per cent at the start of the season.
Alexis Sanchez, meanwhile, has effectively played non stop for three seasons, from 2013/14 through a World Cup and two Copa Americas.
That is the core of Wenger’s team who could probably do with a longer break.
Then you look at Arsenal’s fixture list pre-Christmas, starting with Liverpool at home on the opening day of the season.
It is top heavy. They face Tottenham Hotspur and Chelsea at home plus a string of difficult away trips - Watford, Leicester City, Sunderland, Manchester United, West Ham United, Everton, Manchester City.
It is pretty plausible that Arsenal drop points in most if not all of those matches.
2. Manchester City to finish third or worse
City are strong favourites to win the league and they seem to be an obvious choice on paper. After all, their new manager has won the domestic league in six of his last seven seasons. However, Pep Guardiola has said himself that this will be his toughest challenge as a manager.
The Premier League is far more competitive than either Spain’s Primera Liga or Germany’s Bundesliga. City have a fantastic squad, but they struggled to finish fourth last season and there are seven teams who can realistically claim title ambitions for 2016/17.
On top of that, there are plenty of question marks around Guardiola’s squad. When he left Barcelona for Bayern Munich he was taking over European and German champions which is a far cry from the situation at Etihad Stadium.
First, Joe Hart’s reputation as a world-class keeper is in doubt, following some poor displays at Euro 2016 and dips in form last season.
Then what does he do with Raheem Sterling, whose confidence seems to be shattered. Likewise Jesus Navas, Yaya Toure, Samir Nasri, Fabian Delph. Do any of those players fit at Guardiola’s City?
But the biggest issue is the defence. Captain Vincent Kompany cannot be relied on to stay fit for a season, Nicolas Otamendi and Eliaquim Mangala were expensive disappointments last season and, even with the recruitment of John Stones from Everton, it is not an instant solution.
You also suspect Guardiola would ideally want to upgrade his full-backs, given the prominent role attacking players such as Dani Alves and David Alaba played in his great Barca and Bayern sides.
Most of City’s summer signings appear to be with 2017/18 in mind and the one ready made star, Ilkay Gundogan, will not be fit for two months.
City may well run away with the title next season, but their status as favourites this time is hard to justify.
3. Daniel Sturridge to be top scorer
Liverpool are another side with a dubious defence, but they have some sensational attacking options. And, if he stays fit for most of the season, Sturridge is well placed to benefit from the service supplied by the likes of Phillipe Coutinho, Sadio Mane and Roberto Firmino.
Sturridge showed at the end of last season that he is perhaps the most lethal finisher in English football, evidenced by his stunning strike against Sevilla in the Europa League final.
He was sensational when he was paired with Luis Suarez three seasons ago and there is no reason he cannot return to that form.
Jurgen Klopp appears to likely to play some variation of 4-3-3 and he has a clear hierarchy at centre forward. Sturridge is No 1, Danny Ings and Christian Benteke back him up, Divock Origi will play as a wide man.
The only major hurdle standing between Sturridge and a 20-goal-plus season is his fitness.
4. Henrikh Mkhitaryan to win Player of the Year
Manchester United’s new playmaker is coming off the back of a career season in Germany last season, having scored 19 goals and assisted 24 in all competitions for Borussia Dortmund.
United have signed a player in his prime who has already shown signs of slotting nicely into life at Old Trafford.
The Armenian will provide some of the creativity that the team lacked last season.
From early signs, it looks like Mourinho will play 4-2-3-1, similar to Louis van Gaal last season. But United did not have a classic No 10. Wayne Rooney, Juan Mata, Jesse Lingard, Marouane Fellaini and Ander Herrera all played in the slot but Mkhitaryan is an upgrade.
His eye for a pass, close control and goal threat mean he could easily reach double figures for goals and assists. Riyad Mahrez scored 17 and set up 11 last season and that earned him a Player of the Year award.
5. Alvaro Negredo to score 15 or more
Signing the Spaniard from Valencia was a savvy move by Middlesbrough. Here is a striker who has transferred for £20-million-plus fees twice in the last three seasons and he scored 23 goals in all competitions in his season with Manchester City in 2013/14.
It seems like off-the-pitch issues forced him out of Valencia, but it is Middlesbrough’s gain. If Negredo, 30, can replicate the impact he had for City in the first half of the 13/14 season – and stay fit – he could provide the goals to keep Aitor Karanka’s team up.
6. Crystal Palace to finish in the top seven
Palace have finished 11th, 10th and 15th in their three Premier League seasons since being promoted. The last campaign promised a lot but fizzled out badly.
However, they have a great squad on paper, made even better by the signing of Andros Townsend, a player who nearly made England’s Euro 2016 squad.
If they can avoid the long runs of bad results that tarnished last season they have a decent chance of earning a European spot, especially when you consider that the usual top-eight hopefuls like Everton and Southampton might not be as strong this season.
Yannick Bolasie, Townsend, Jason Puncheon, Wilfried Zaha and Yohan Cabaye make for a terrific creative force – especially if Pardew manages to convince a player like Christian Benteke to join up.
7. West Bromwich Albion to finish bottom
Like their Midland rivals Aston Villa last season, West Brom face a season of struggle. Tony Pulis’s pragmatic approach saw them stay up comfortably in the end, but this is a side that really lacks much creativity.
At times last season they played four defensive midfielders. Jose Rondon is a handful up front, but he is often isolated.
They only scored 34 goals last season – Villa were the only side with fewer – but their defence was the best outside the top six.
It is hard to see Pulis’s side suddenly producing many more goals so they better hope their backline performs as well as 15/16.
8. Charlie Austin to score 15 or more
Italian striker Graziano Pelle will be a loss for Southampton, having moved to China, but people might be forgetting about Austin, who netted 18 goals in his last full Premier League season in 2014/15 with Queens Park Rangers.
There’s a strong chance new manager Claude Puel shapes his strike force around Austin and Shane Long and the former is a ready made Pelle replacement – strong in the air, a predator in the box, tough to shake off the ball. Pelle scored 10 and 11 goals in his two Southampton seasons, Austin can pick up where he left off.
9. Jordan Ibe to win Young Player of the Year
At times last season, Ibe displayed some superb dribbling ability. When he is playing well it seems like he can beat his man whenever he pleases and the comparisons with another ex-Liverpool winger, Raheem Sterling, are obvious.
Ibe is still a raw talent, but he is now in the right place to develop, having joined Bournemouth for a club record £12 million (Dh57.4m).
There was too much competition at Liverpool. With Matt Ritchie having left to join Newcastle United, Ibe should start most games for Bournemouth, with freedom to express himself down either flank.
10. Gylfi Sigurdsson to be the top scoring midfielder in the league
Who is going to score goals for Swansea? They sold Euro 2016 final hero Eder to Lille, loaned Bafetimbi Gomis to Marseille and sent Alberto Paloschi to Atlanta. Andre Ayew, last season’s top scorer, is on his way to West Ham.
Two Spanish strikers have come in. Fernando Llorente and Borja Baston, the latter a club record £15m signing from Atletico Madrid. Both are exciting prospects for Swansea fans but a note of caution.
Llorente, 31, hasn’t been as prolific since he effectively went on strike four seasons ago to force a move to Juventus. Last season he only scored four goals for Sevilla.
And Borja, 23, who netted 18 Primera Liga goals last season at Eibar, is likely to take time to adapt to life in the Premier League, which has traditionally been a wasteland for Spanish strikers - see Xisco’s spell at Newcastle as a prime example.
So Iceland midfielder Sigurdsson will still carry a lot of the goalscoring burden. He scored 11 goals last season, Ayew 12 and Gomis seven, but no other player got past two so it shows how important he is to his side. Even if Swansea struggle this season, Sigurdsson – who takes penalties and free kicks – should easily hit double figures and could even approach 20 goals.
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