England descended to an embarrassing 405-run defeat inside four days at Lord’s as Mitchell Johnson hastened their collapse and Australia levelled the Ashes at 1-1.
The hosts, set a notional 509 to win after Australia declared on 254 for two shortly before lunch in this second Investec Test, were all out for a hapless 103 in 37 overs by late afternoon.
England’s costly habit of losing their top order cheaply was revisited, and then Johnson’s double-wicket maiden immediately after tea cast aside any remaining doubts.
Australia had piled up 146 runs in 23 overs of a sunny morning as David Warner (83) and Steve Smith (58) revelled in a position of utter dominance.
Home openers Alastair Cook and Adam Lyth therefore had the added inconvenience of having to face three overs before lunch.
They survived that initial test, but both were gone within half an hour of the afternoon - Lyth for the second time in the match caught behind on the back foot off Mitchell Starc and then Cook tamely edging an attempted cut also to the wicketkeeper, from only the fourth delivery from first-change Johnson.
It was Cook’s 96 that had helped to give England’s first innings relative substance, and they lost another feasible saviour when Gary Ballance was third out - caught behind again when Mitch Marsh found extra bounce with his first delivery after mid-session drinks.
Ian Bell survived one tough chance at slip, Adam Voges unable to hang on diving to his left at slip off Johnson, only to then go bat-pad instead to Nathan Lyon.
When Ben Stokes was run out just before tea, taking minor evasive action as Johnson’s direct-hit throw came in from mid-on and neglecting to run his bat in with his feet off the ground albeit past the crease, it was hard to escape the foregone conclusion.
Johnson, it transpired, was in a hurry to finish the job too - assisted to a degree by Jos Buttler, who pushed out at a wide one and gave debutant wicketkeeper Peter Nevill his seventh victim of the match, before four balls later Moeen Ali was entirely unable to deal with a well-directed short ball and propped a simple catch to short leg.
Five wickets had fallen for 22 runs, and there remained only details - which included Johnson, who took three for 27 and was of course the 2013/14 destroyer of England, being stuck on 299 career Test wickets for a little longer.
Smith’s share of Australia’s spoils with the bat, to add to his first-innings 215, was a 43-ball half-century - while Warner bagged 12 fours in all from 116 deliveries, having begun his innings the previous evening.
There was an unexpected episode after only the second over of the day as Warner’s opening partner Chris Rogers became disorientated and had to retire ill.
Nothing untoward had happened in the middle. But with the 37-year-old having missed two Tests earlier this year because of concussion and suffered a nasty blow on the helmet on day two, there was immediate concern.
Rogers looked dazed as he dropped to his knees then sat down before leaving the field with physiotherapist Alex Kountouris and team doctor Peter Brukner.
He was later reported to have suffered a “sudden dizzy spell”, but rested at the ground rather than going to hospital.
New batsman Smith and Warner, meanwhile, set about demoralising the England attack.
Warner took the lead past 400 with a back-foot punch for four off Mark Wood, and Smith was entirely at ease - so much so that he felt able to step outside off stump and successfully paddle-sweep Stuart Broad.
The fifty partnership came in just 47 balls but ended when Warner picked out Cook at extra-cover to gift Moeen a wicket.
Smith remained almost comically in control.
No matter how hard Broad tried to hang the ball outside off stump, Australia’s number three had all the answers - twice with what appeared to be only semi-intentional deflections to fine leg for four.
He was eventually bowled trying to hit Moeen into the pavilion, leaving Marsh to advance the declaration with successive sixes off England’s off-spinner as Australia signed up for the fast track to victory.
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BORDERLANDS
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis
Director: Eli Roth
Rating: 0/5
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What is graphene?
Graphene is extracted from graphite and is made up of pure carbon.
It is 200 times more resistant than steel and five times lighter than aluminum.
It conducts electricity better than any other material at room temperature.
It is thought that graphene could boost the useful life of batteries by 10 per cent.
Graphene can also detect cancer cells in the early stages of the disease.
The material was first discovered when Andre Geim and Konstantin Novoselov were 'playing' with graphite at the University of Manchester in 2004.
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Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
Last 10 winners of African Footballer of the Year
2006: Didier Drogba (Chelsea and Ivory Coast)
2007: Frederic Kanoute (Sevilla and Mali)
2008: Emmanuel Adebayor (Arsenal and Togo)
2009: Didier Drogba (Chelsea and Ivory Coast)
2010: Samuel Eto’o (Inter Milan and Cameroon)
2011: Yaya Toure (Manchester City and Ivory Coast)
2012: Yaya Toure (Manchester City and Ivory Coast)
2013: Yaya Toure (Manchester City and Ivory Coast)
2014: Yaya Toure (Manchester City and Ivory Coast)
2015: Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang (Borussia Dortmund and Gabon)
2016: Riyad Mahrez (Leicester City and Algeria)
SPECS
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Blackpink World Tour [Born Pink] In Cinemas
Starring: Rose, Jisoo, Jennie, Lisa
Directors: Min Geun, Oh Yoon-Dong
Rating: 3/5
The specs
Engine: 2.7-litre 4-cylinder Turbomax
Power: 310hp
Torque: 583Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh192,500
On sale: Now
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UAE FIXTURES
October 18 – 7.30pm, UAE v Oman, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 19 – 7.30pm, UAE v Ireland, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 21 – 2.10pm, UAE v Hong Kong, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 22 – 2.10pm, UAE v Jersey, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 24 – 10am, UAE v Nigeria, Abu Dhabi Cricket Oval 1
October 27 – 7.30pm, UAE v Canada, Zayed Cricket Stadium, Abu Dhabi
October 29 – 2.10pm, Playoff 1 – A2 v B3; 7.30pm, Playoff 2 – A3 v B2, at Dubai International Stadium.
October 30 – 2.10pm, Playoff 3 – A4 v Loser of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Playoff 4 – B4 v Loser of Play-off 2 at Dubai International Stadium
November 1 – 2.10pm, Semifinal 1 – B1 v Winner of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Semifinal 2 – A1 v Winner of Play-off 2 at Dubai International Stadium
November 2 – 2.10pm, Third place Playoff – B1 v Winner of Play-off 1; 7.30pm, Final, at Dubai International Stadium
A new relationship with the old country
Treaty of Friendship between the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the United Arab Emirates
The United kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the United Arab Emirates; Considering that the United Arab Emirates has assumed full responsibility as a sovereign and independent State; Determined that the long-standing and traditional relations of close friendship and cooperation between their peoples shall continue; Desiring to give expression to this intention in the form of a Treaty Friendship; Have agreed as follows:
ARTICLE 1 The relations between the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the United Arab Emirates shall be governed by a spirit of close friendship. In recognition of this, the Contracting Parties, conscious of their common interest in the peace and stability of the region, shall: (a) consult together on matters of mutual concern in time of need; (b) settle all their disputes by peaceful means in conformity with the provisions of the Charter of the United Nations.
ARTICLE 2 The Contracting Parties shall encourage education, scientific and cultural cooperation between the two States in accordance with arrangements to be agreed. Such arrangements shall cover among other things: (a) the promotion of mutual understanding of their respective cultures, civilisations and languages, the promotion of contacts among professional bodies, universities and cultural institutions; (c) the encouragement of technical, scientific and cultural exchanges.
ARTICLE 3 The Contracting Parties shall maintain the close relationship already existing between them in the field of trade and commerce. Representatives of the Contracting Parties shall meet from time to time to consider means by which such relations can be further developed and strengthened, including the possibility of concluding treaties or agreements on matters of mutual concern.
ARTICLE 4 This Treaty shall enter into force on today’s date and shall remain in force for a period of ten years. Unless twelve months before the expiry of the said period of ten years either Contracting Party shall have given notice to the other of its intention to terminate the Treaty, this Treaty shall remain in force thereafter until the expiry of twelve months from the date on which notice of such intention is given.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF the undersigned have signed this Treaty.
DONE in duplicate at Dubai the second day of December 1971AD, corresponding to the fifteenth day of Shawwal 1391H, in the English and Arabic languages, both texts being equally authoritative.
Signed
Geoffrey Arthur Sheikh Zayed
match info
Southampton 0
Arsenal 2 (Nketiah 20', Willock 87')
Red card: Jack Stephens (Southampton)
Man of the match: Rob Holding (Arsenal)
THE BIO
Ms Davison came to Dubai from Kerala after her marriage in 1996 when she was 21-years-old
Since 2001, Ms Davison has worked at many affordable schools such as Our Own English High School in Sharjah, and The Apple International School and Amled School in Dubai
Favourite Book: The Alchemist
Favourite quote: Failing to prepare is preparing to fail
Favourite place to Travel to: Vienna
Favourite cuisine: Italian food
Favourite Movie : Scent of a Woman
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The five pillars of Islam
Women & Power: A Manifesto
Mary Beard
Profile Books and London Review of Books