Imagine in football Burnley winning the English Premier League or Tenerife leading the Primera Liga table in Spain. You may as well believe in the tooth fairy.
Such fairy tales rarely happen. In most sports that lack a salary cap, the playing field has become more skewed than ever. The rich get richer, and the poor, at best, aim for survival.
Each Premier League season for the last decade or more has started with only four teams harbouring genuine title ambitions. For the rest, a Europa League place or just staying afloat is as good as it gets.
Lalit Modi and the Indian Premier League (IPL) have been on the receiving end of much criticism over the past two years; for everything from the cheerleaders to the glamour train that follows the teams around.
But those that envisioned the IPL have got one thing right: the salary cap - which will stay at US$7million (Dh25.7m) for a fourth season next year - giving each of the eight teams an equal chance of glory.
Victory and defeat depends on the players and the coach. Buying success a la Silvio Berlusconi in the late 1980s with AC Milan or Roman Abramovich in the new millennium with Chelsea, is simply not an option.
This year's IPL table is instructive in that regard. The Mumbai Indians, the most expensive of the franchises back in 2008, lead the way with six wins and just a solitary defeat. In the first two seasons, they could not even make the semi-finals. Languishing at the bottom are Kings XI Punjab, who finished second in the league phase in the first season on the back of a mountain of runs from Shaun Marsh.
The Delhi Daredevils lie in second place, but have already lost three games on the trot this season. If the Royal Challengers Bangalore win their games in hand, then they can leapfrog the Daredevils into second place.
As for Mumbai, their work is far from done, with five of their last seven fixtures away from home. Apart from Kings XI, who have been consistently poor - even their lone win was a gift from a sloppy Chennai Super Kings side - each of the other teams has shown glimpses of title-winning form.
The Kolkata Knight Riders started off superbly and then slumped, while the Rajasthan Royals drove Shane Warne to such despair that he reckoned they would struggle against his son's Under 12 side. Since then, they have won four of their last five games.
As seven teams jockey for a last-four place over the next fortnight with Mumbai hogging the inside rail, it will be interesting to see how each one utilises their overseas contingent.
Paul Collingwood has slotted into the Daredevils XI after not even playing a game last season, while Kevin Pietersen was straight back into the Royal Challengers' line-up after flying in from touring Bangladesh with England.
Given their threadbare pace bowling resources, Chennai will almost certainly play Doug Bollinger, the Australian, once he arrives from New Zealand on April 5. As for the Knight Riders, their policy will be horses-for-courses. Sourav Ganguly says that he knows who his four best overseas players are, but apart from Chris Gayle and Charl Langeveldt, the others are likely to be rotated.
For the Chargers, Kemar Roach's extra pace offers a different option to Chaminda Vaas's nagging accuracy.
The Chargers, rock-bottom with two wins in season one, are the perfect example of what makes the IPL such compelling viewing. Having sneaked into the last four in South Africa last year, they beat the in-form Daredevils and then Bangalore to take the trophy.
For the fans, it guarantees a roller-coaster ride. Yesterday's zeroes are today's heroes, and no one is quite sure where the next twist is coming from.
And as long as the salary cap stays in place, ensuring an even distribution of talent, each season will continue to be as unpredictable as an O Henry short story.
Dileep Premachandran is associate editor at Cricinfo and Asian cricket correspondent of The Guardian
sports@thenational.ae
FORSPOKEN
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Assassin's%20Creed%20Mirage
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Starfield
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The biog
Name: Marie Byrne
Nationality: Irish
Favourite film: The Shawshank Redemption
Book: Seagull by Jonathan Livingston
Life lesson: A person is not old until regret takes the place of their dreams
APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)
Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits
Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine
Storage: 128/256/512GB
Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4
Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps
Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID
Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight
In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter
Price: From Dh2,099
Thank You for Banking with Us
Director: Laila Abbas
Starring: Yasmine Al Massri, Clara Khoury, Kamel El Basha, Ashraf Barhoum
Rating: 4/5
Leaderboard
64 - Gavin Green (MAL), Graeme McDowell (NIR)
65 - Henrik Stenson (SWE), Sebastian Soderberg (SWE), Adri Arnaus (ESP), Victor Perez (FRA), Jhonattan Vegas (VEN)
66 - Phil Mickelson (USA), Tom Lewis (ENG), Andy Sullivan (ENG), Ross Fisher (ENG), Aaron Rai (ENG), Ryan Fox (NZL)
67 - Dustin Johnson (USA), Sebastian Garcia Rodriguez (ESP), Lucas Herbert (AUS), Francesco Laporta (ITA), Joost Luiten (NED), Soren Kjeldsen (DEN), Marcus Kinhult (SWE)
68 - Alexander Bjork (SWE), Matthieu Pavon (FRA), Adrian Meronk (POL), David Howell (ENG), Christiaan Bezuidenhout (RSA), Fabrizio Zanotti (PAR), Sean Crocker (USA), Scott Hend (AUS), Justin Harding (RSA), Jazz Janewattananond (THA), Shubhankar Sharma (IND), Renato Paratore (ITA)
Tree of Hell
Starring: Raed Zeno, Hadi Awada, Dr Mohammad Abdalla
Director: Raed Zeno
Rating: 4/5
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
The advice provided in our columns does not constitute legal advice and is provided for information only. Readers are encouraged to seek independent legal advice.
RedCrow Intelligence Company Profile
Started: 2016
Founders: Hussein Nasser Eddin, Laila Akel, Tayeb Akel
Based: Ramallah, Palestine
Sector: Technology, Security
# of staff: 13
Investment: $745,000
Investors: Palestine’s Ibtikar Fund, Abu Dhabi’s Gothams and angel investors
Emergency phone numbers in the UAE
Estijaba – 8001717 – number to call to request coronavirus testing
Ministry of Health and Prevention – 80011111
Dubai Health Authority – 800342 – The number to book a free video or voice consultation with a doctor or connect to a local health centre
Emirates airline – 600555555
Etihad Airways – 600555666
Ambulance – 998
Knowledge and Human Development Authority – 8005432 ext. 4 for Covid-19 queries
Singham Again
Director: Rohit Shetty
Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone
Rating: 3/5
Joker: Folie a Deux
Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson
Director: Todd Phillips
Rating: 2/5
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions
The Greatest Royal Rumble card as it stands
50-man Royal Rumble - names entered so far include Braun Strowman, Daniel Bryan, Kurt Angle, Big Show, Kane, Chris Jericho, The New Day and Elias
Universal Championship Brock Lesnar (champion) v Roman Reigns in a steel cage match
WWE World Heavyweight Championship AJ Styles (champion) v Shinsuke Nakamura
Intercontinental Championship Seth Rollins (champion) v The Miz v Finn Balor v Samoa Joe
United States Championship Jeff Hardy (champion) v Jinder Mahal
SmackDown Tag Team Championship The Bludgeon Brothers (champions) v The Usos
Raw Tag Team Championship (currently vacant) Cesaro and Sheamus v Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt
Casket match The Undertaker v Chris Jericho
Singles match John Cena v Triple H
Cruiserweight Championship Cedric Alexander v tba
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
The years Ramadan fell in May
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
RACE CARD
6.30pm Maiden Dh165,000 (Dirt) 1,200
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The National selections:
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8.50pm Etisalat
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COMPANY PROFILE
● Company: Bidzi
● Started: 2024
● Founders: Akshay Dosaj and Asif Rashid
● Based: Dubai, UAE
● Industry: M&A
● Funding size: Bootstrapped
● No of employees: Nine
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Omar Yabroudi's factfile
Born: October 20, 1989, Sharjah
Education: Bachelor of Science and Football, Liverpool John Moores University
2010: Accrington Stanley FC, internship
2010-2012: Crystal Palace, performance analyst with U-18 academy
2012-2015: Barnet FC, first-team performance analyst/head of recruitment
2015-2017: Nottingham Forest, head of recruitment
2018-present: Crystal Palace, player recruitment manager
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Afcon 2019
SEMI-FINALS
Senegal v Tunisia, 8pm
Algeria v Nigeria, 11pm
Matches are live on BeIN Sports
Top 10 in the F1 drivers' standings
1. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari 202 points
2. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes-GP 188
3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes-GP 169
4. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull Racing 117
5. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari 116
6. Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing 67
7. Sergio Perez, Force India 56
8. Esteban Ocon, Force India 45
9. Carlos Sainz Jr, Toro Rosso 35
10. Nico Hulkenberg, Renault 26
More from Rashmee Roshan Lall
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
EA Sports FC 25
Developer: EA Vancouver, EA Romania
Publisher: EA Sports
Consoles: Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4&5, Xbox One and Xbox Series X/S
Rating: 3.5/5
THE SPECS
Engine: 1.5-litre turbocharged four-cylinder
Transmission: Constant Variable (CVT)
Power: 141bhp
Torque: 250Nm
Price: Dh64,500
On sale: Now
Dubai Rugby Sevens
November 30-December 2, at The Sevens, Dubai
Gulf Under 19
Pool A – Abu Dhabi Harlequins, Jumeirah College Tigers, Dubai English Speaking School 1, Gems World Academy
Pool B – British School Al Khubairat, Bahrain Colts, Jumeirah College Lions, Dubai English Speaking School 2
Pool C - Dubai College A, Dubai Sharks, Jumeirah English Speaking School, Al Yasmina
Pool D – Dubai Exiles, Dubai Hurricanes, Al Ain Amblers, Deira International School