Uncertain times drive men to dark age ideas

Conflict, unemployment and entrenched views have led to gender equality regressing in region, writes Shelina Janmohamed.

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I’m sure we all know by now that men and women see things differently. We are well-acquainted with the infamously common jokes that draw on sexist connotations.

And yet the implications of the widely varying perceptions men and women have about gender equality are far from hilarious.

Indeed, a recent gender equality survey shows a stark contrast between the attitudes of men in four Middle Eastern countries – Egypt, Lebanon, Morocco and Palestine – and convictions held by women about equality and sharing household responsibilities.

As an example, more than half of the Egyptian men surveyed agreed that there are times when women deserve to be beaten. Naturally, less than a third of women holding the same belief.

Meanwhile, while almost three-quarters of Egyptian women surveyed said married women should have the same rights to work outside the home as their husbands, less than a third of Egyptian men agreed.

And even more startling is the fact that while younger women held more progressive views than older women, attitudes were broadly the same across all men’s age groups, except in Lebanon, where younger men showed slightly more progressive attitudes.

These kinds of disparities exist around the world, but the mismatch of perceptions is truly troubling. A Harvard Business Review article looked at the career expectations of Harvard Business School graduates.

Only half of the men surveyed were sure spouses’ careers would take equal priority, whereas almost all the women interviewed thought their careers would take equal priority.

About 75 per cent of male participants believed their wives should assume the homemaker role, compared with only half of women holding the same view despite the fact that the majority surveyed are, in fact, homemakers. Examples of this are numerous. The brutal truth is that men simply don’t take note of the disparity and remain comfortable in the shoes they’ve been given by society.

But there’s a darker side that analysts of the study allude to.

This is the growing global phenomenon of ‘hypermasculinity’ thanks to unemployment.

In fact, a key source of stress for men was the challenge of finding paid work in times of economic uncertainty, particularly in countries affected by conflict.

Feeling the pressure to bring home the bread is driving men to become even more sensitive about their masculinity, inducing an opposite reaction where they are, therefore, less likely to care about gender equality for fear of being undermined.

Between a fifth and half of men reported being ashamed to face their families because of lack of work or income.

Indeed, the effects of conflict and unemployment were frequently cited as a factor for depression among men.

We see this same toxic masculinity in the rise of the right – which berates feminism as ugly – appearing in a similar backdrop of uncertainty and change.

Tough guy Trump is the epitome of this trend. This ‘super macho’ perception problem has real life ramifications.

A UK study looking at attitudes and behaviour took housework as a case in point. In the study, women reported spending an average of 13 hours on housework and 23 hours caring for family members a week. Men, by contrast, spend only 8 hours a week mopping and dusting and 10 hours being selfless. While it comes no surprise that women report this as unfair, what is surprising is that men agree, at least in theory. But while both sexes theoretically believe in the shift – and even think they are upholding it – the reality is that women continue to bear the brunt of the housework – while also working for money. This becomes even more worrying and significant when it comes to violence since the study did, after all, point out that many feel it is acceptable to beat their wives.

The short of it is that the disparity between gender expectations is one that we must continue to identify and learn to manage. If we don’t, the impact will be felt both at a social level and at an individual level at home.

Its implications for mental health, the potential disintegration of the family unit and social stability are huge.

And while we may wrongly indulge sexist stereotypes as a bit of a joke, such implications will be no laughing matter.

And if you don’t believe any of these scenarios or convictions, ask your partner about their perceptions. You may well be surprised at what you discover.

Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is the author of the books Generation M: Young Muslims Changing the World and Love in a Headscarf