There’s an affliction we all have and can’t shake off

The battle for success isn’t how much is ticked off from our to-do lists in a day, but how well we can cope with just being ourselves, says Samar Al Sayed

Being busy is no longer confined to pressing commitments, which, for a select few, strip them of any time for recreation. Silvia Razgova / The National

We live in an age of mental clutter. The sea of information, images and messages we are bombarded with is seemingly endless, prompting a perpetual sense of urgency. We are so overwhelmed that any knocks of accountability at our doors will be met with the same response: “I’m busy.”

Being busy is no longer confined to pressing commitments, which, for a select few, strip them of any time for recreation. Take, for example, the German judge who was recently caught arranging childcare via text message during a hearing, prompting a retrial.

For most of us, our lives aren’t that busy, yet we still give off a false sense of “busyness” because we want to appear cool, or we want to avoid people, we genuinely feel pressed or we fear failure if we are not always on the go.

In fact, “busy” has become a revered bubble. We don’t dare question how busy others are. Questioning excuses is accepted as being inconsiderate.

That does not make reality any less true. Most of us are voluntarily busy, while not being as busy as we make out to be. “Sorry, I’ve been busy” may have become a standard response, but it is one that harbours many falsities.

Timestamps, read reports, online statuses and failed deliveries have given us more of an excuse for excuses and much more leeway for selective interaction.

We have so many apps and sites to keep up with that we can get away with almost any lie we tell: “Sorry, I must have seen the message in my sleep”, “Sorry, I lost all my contacts and have been too busy to deal with it”, or “Sorry, my son must have deleted your message as he was playing games on my phone and I was too busy to notice.” How can we tell truth from tales amid this madness?

The “busy” alibi has also helped us forgo even the most basic obligations. In the UK, one study found that phone calls were down 38 per cent since social media came along. Callbacks? Forget about it. Who needs them when instant messaging exists? It has become socially acceptable to offer congratulations and condolences on Facebook walls. Texting in the middle of a face-to-face conversation has become customary. “Sorry, I just have to answer this person before the world ends.”

No amount of social acceptability can make any of this normal. The busy bug has made us unmindful of our surroundings as a whole. It has made us dishonest, narcissistic and indifferent to priorities, which should primarily include setting aside time for resetting our timers.

The problem is that idleness has become synonymous with lack of importance. We constantly watch people around us validate their existence daily through never-ending social engagements or work meetings and have become conditioned to fear underachievement, as if our schedules are an indicator of our worth.

For others, being unavailable is an ideal way to avoid people they don’t care to speak with. But feeling a constant sense of urgency to be somewhere isn’t merely a question of showing off or avoidance. It’s an illness of the 21st century. We are all afraid of falling off the bandwagon and missing out.

This is why the battle for success isn’t how much is ticked off from our to-do lists in a day, but how well we can cope with stepping down from the high-speed train and just being present in the present.

Zoning out and streamlining thoughts and messages are vital, not only for our sanity, but to ensure the quality of our friendship and interactions.

The next time we are able to say “I’m fine” without adding any insinuations about our lives is the day we will merit true applause.