If you’re thinking of visiting the United Kingdom this summer, be sure to plan your trip carefully, because there’s so much to see: Big Ben, the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, not to mention York Minster, the Georgian splendour of Bath and, erm, the delights of the village of Kidlington.
Never heard of Kidlington? Believe it or not, this small village, five miles north of Oxford, has become the latest must-see destination for travellers from the Far East.
If you are not prepared to take my word for it, just ask the locals, who’ve seen their village overrun with sightseers in recent weeks. Nobody knows why they’re there, not even the sightseers.
Don’t get me wrong, Kidlington has much to offer to the intrepid traveller, if you like sampling housing estates, convenience stores and parked cars. Nonetheless, coach loads of Chinese trippers have been wandering the streets, cameras in hand, snapping away at anything that moves.
Theories abound as to what they’re doing there. Some claim the bewildered visitors are under the impression they’re visiting the fictional birthplace of Harry Potter.
Another theory suggests they may have mixed Kidlington up with the nearby village of Kirtlington, which does indeed have pretensions to be the prettiest village in England.
Yet others point out that it’s a handy stopover on the way to nearby Bicester Village, a retail development famous for selling designer labels at knock-down prices.
Whatever the reason, the tourists have been making themselves at home there.
Residents have discovered strangers helping themselves to blooms from front gardens, asking to use their bathrooms and even commandeering people’s front lawns as impromptu picnic spots. One villager, 66-year-old Nick Allington, even had a request from an individual asking if he might be allowed to cut his lawn.
So why, you might ask, doesn’t somebody ask them what they’re doing here?
Well, they did. Trouble was, few of the tourists speak any English and with the residents of Kidlington not much better at Mandarin, it ended up as something of an impasse. Needless to say, both parties are none the wiser.
Perhaps the real reason for this very modern mystery is one of good old greed and duplicity. Kidlington lies on the edge of the Cotswolds, an area of middle England famed for its rolling hills, chocolate box villages and pearling streams.
It’s rumoured that some unscrupulous travel operator may have decided to save on time and money that would otherwise be spent on taking its clients to the heart of the Cotswolds and have, instead, been dumping them in Kidlington with assurances that it’s the real thing.
The economic advantages are obvious to the tour operators. Let the tourists wander about, point them in the direction of nearby landmarks (the local war memorial and the automated car wash), chivvy them back onto the coach, and whisk them on to the next beauty spot a few miles away.
An old proverb says that “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance” and tourists the world over have always been among the most gullible of species.
Indeed, the story runs of a party of day-trippers being shown round HMS Victory in Portsmouth, the ship Admiral Lord Nelson was commanding in 1805 when he met his death at the hand of a sniper’s bullet, and still one of the most popular tourist destinations in the country.
“And this silver plate in the deck marks the spot where Nelson fell” explains the guide.
“I’m not surprised,” commented one of the tourists, “I nearly slipped on it myself ...”
Michael Simkins is an actor and writer in London
On Twitter: @michael_simkins
if you go
The flights
Etihad, Emirates and Singapore Airlines fly direct from the UAE to Singapore from Dh2,265 return including taxes. The flight takes about 7 hours.
The hotel
Rooms at the M Social Singapore cost from SG $179 (Dh488) per night including taxes.
The tour
Makan Makan Walking group tours costs from SG $90 (Dh245) per person for about three hours. Tailor-made tours can be arranged. For details go to www.woknstroll.com.sg
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
Abu Dhabi race card
5pm Abu Dhabi Fillies Classic Prestige | Dh110,000 | 1,400m
5.30pm Abu Dhabi Colts Classic Prestige | Dh110,000 | 1,400m
6pm Abu Dhabi Championship Listed | Dh180,000 | 1,600m
6.30pm Maiden | Dh80,000 | 1,600m
7pm Wathba Stallions Cup Handicap | Dh80,000 | 1,400m
7.30pm Handicap (TB) |Dh100,000 | 2,400m
How to help
Send “thenational” to the following numbers or call the hotline on: 0502955999
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Our legal columnist
Name: Yousef Al Bahar
Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994
Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers
Abandon
Sangeeta Bandyopadhyay
Translated by Arunava Sinha
Tilted Axis Press
The specs: 2018 Maserati Levante S
Price, base / as tested: Dh409,000 / Dh467,000
Engine: 3.0-litre V6
Transmission: Eight-speed automatic
Power: 430hp @ 5,750rpm
Torque: 580Nm @ 4,500rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 10.9L / 100km
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Singham Again
Director: Rohit Shetty
Stars: Ajay Devgn, Kareena Kapoor Khan, Ranveer Singh, Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff, Deepika Padukone
Rating: 3/5
The Penguin
Starring: Colin Farrell, Cristin Milioti, Rhenzy Feliz
Creator: Lauren LeFranc
Rating: 4/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
Cricket World Cup League 2
UAE squad
Rahul Chopra (captain), Aayan Afzal Khan, Ali Naseer, Aryansh Sharma, Basil Hameed, Dhruv Parashar, Junaid Siddique, Muhammad Farooq, Muhammad Jawadullah, Muhammad Waseem, Omid Rahman, Rahul Bhatia, Tanish Suri, Vishnu Sukumaran, Vriitya Aravind
Fixtures
Friday, November 1 – Oman v UAE
Sunday, November 3 – UAE v Netherlands
Thursday, November 7 – UAE v Oman
Saturday, November 9 – Netherlands v UAE
Company profile
Name: Infinite8
Based: Dubai
Launch year: 2017
Number of employees: 90
Sector: Online gaming industry
Funding: $1.2m from a UAE angel investor
Our legal columnist
Name: Yousef Al Bahar
Advocate at Al Bahar & Associate Advocates and Legal Consultants, established in 1994
Education: Mr Al Bahar was born in 1979 and graduated in 2008 from the Judicial Institute. He took after his father, who was one of the first Emirati lawyers
Match info
Manchester United 0-0 Crystal Palace
Man of the match: Cheikhou Kouyate (Crystal Palace)
Our family matters legal consultant
Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais
Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.
Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
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Company%20profile
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Draw
Quarter-finals
Real Madrid (ESP) or Manchester City (ENG) v Juventus (ITA) or Lyon (FRA)
RB Leipzig (GER) v Atletico Madrid (ESP)
Barcelona (ESP) or Napoli (ITA) v Bayern Munich (GER) or Chelsea (ENG)
Atalanta (ITA) v Paris Saint-Germain (FRA)
Ties to be played August 12-15 in Lisbon
Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale
Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni
Director: Amith Krishnan
Rating: 3.5/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre turbo
Power: 181hp
Torque: 230Nm
Transmission: 6-speed automatic
Starting price: Dh79,000
On sale: Now
The biog
Name: Timothy Husband
Nationality: New Zealand
Education: Degree in zoology at The University of Sydney
Favourite book: Lemurs of Madagascar by Russell A Mittermeier
Favourite music: Billy Joel
Weekends and holidays: Talking about animals or visiting his farm in Australia
Citadel: Honey Bunny first episode
Directors: Raj & DK
Stars: Varun Dhawan, Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Kashvi Majmundar, Kay Kay Menon
Rating: 4/5
If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Kanguva
Director: Siva
Stars: Suriya, Bobby Deol, Disha Patani, Yogi Babu, Redin Kingsley
The specs: 2019 Mercedes-Benz GLE
Price, base / as tested Dh274,000 (estimate)
Engine 3.0-litre inline six-cylinder
Gearbox Nine-speed automatic
Power 245hp @ 4,200rpm
Torque 500Nm @ 1,600rpm
Fuel economy, combined 6.4L / 100km
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
The specs
Engine: 77.4kW all-wheel-drive dual motor
Power: 320bhp
Torque: 605Nm
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Price: From Dh219,000
On sale: Now
Profile of Whizkey
Date founded: 04 November 2017
Founders: Abdulaziz AlBlooshi and Harsh Hirani
Based: Dubai, UAE
Number of employees: 10
Sector: AI, software
Cashflow: Dh2.5 Million
Funding stage: Series A
The biog
Hobby: Playing piano and drawing patterns
Best book: Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins
Food of choice: Sushi
Favourite colour: Orange
How it works
Each player begins with one of the great empires of history, from Julius Caesar's Rome to Ramses of Egypt, spread over Europe and the Middle East.
Round by round, the player expands their empire. The more land they have, the more money they can take from their coffers for each go.
As unruled land and soldiers are acquired, players must feed them. When a player comes up against land held by another army, they can choose to battle for supremacy.
A dice-based battle system is used and players can get the edge on their enemy with by deploying a renowned hero on the battlefield.
Players that lose battles and land will find their coffers dwindle and troops go hungry. The end goal? Global domination of course.
Company%20Profile
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The specs
Engine: 1.4-litre 4-cylinder turbo
Power: 180hp at 5,500rpm
Torque: 250Nm at 3,00rpm
Transmission: 5-speed sequential auto
Price: From Dh139,995
On sale: now