It’s time for a difficult conversation about a tricky subject

Hormonal changes affect a woman in more than one way and everyone should be sensitive about this issue, writes Rym Ghazal

Dr Maryam Matar, chairman and founder of the UAE Genetic Diseases Association. Antonie Robertson / The National

However important women become in the workplace, and no matter how many stereotypes they have shattered to get there, they are still sexualised.

How often does an attractive woman in a position of power become the focus of the media, precisely because she is pretty?

There is nothing wrong with noting both beauty and brains, as that breaks the “blonde bimbo” stereotype, which I loathe. But there is no need to always tie looks and intelligence together, even if plenty of studies show that attractive people do have it easier in life.

But I want to focus on something raised this week by a female doctor. Many men will, I suspect, avoid reading the rest of this column just because it touches upon an issue they often make fun of.

At the Arab Women in Leadership and Business Summit in Dubai, Dr Maryam Matar made a speech in which she noted that the decisions she had made that she had regretted were those “directly related to my oestrogen”.

“Before I used to take my period for granted. I don’t care when it’s my first day, when I’m ovulating, when oestrogen is up, when the progesterone is down. Imagine, my dear, the biggest influence you will get as a woman is when your oestrogen is high,” she said, according to a published transcript.

She said that sometimes there are hormones in the body over which you have no control. Sometimes you will make a decision which is not right and you will be angry.

Her statements angered many people who said it was offensive to suggest that women can’t make decent decisions when menstruating.

Nothing irks most women more than when a male colleague dismisses an argument with the words: “Oh, is it that time of month?”

It has become commonplace for some men to make jokes about women and their “moods” during premenstrual syndrome, popularly known as PMS. No chocolates or Nutella jars are safe at that time of month.

Men have a field day with this, but they are not the ones dealing with this pain every month. Hormonal changes are nothing to scoff at.

What happens inside our bodies affects us in every way, from health and mood to relationships. It is not enough that women have to carry babies, they have to deal with some big adult size brats as well.

Men have mood swings and bad days too, but what is their excuse? At least there is a very obvious reason for the women.

But then again there have been studies that prove that even men go through different hormonal cycles that impact their behaviour. Some have called it “irritable male syndrome”, which is triggered by hormonal imbalance and stress.

In short, we all have bad days, and we just have to be kinder to and more understanding of one another.

In defence of what Dr Matar said, she included an important point that I have come across previously. She mentioned a Dubai Court study that noticed most divorces are triggered during the menstruation time.

Several lawyers have told me that they quietly make notes to themselves to ask a woman who institutes divorce proceedings whether she did so at that “time of the month”. So whatever we think of it, PMS does impact lives in more than one way.

Dr Matar went on to mention religion.

“If the divorce happens during the menstruation time”, she said, “it would not be considered as an official divorce,” urging women to avoid taking decisions two days before the first day of their periods, or during the first and second days of menstruation. She also recommend not inviting one’s mother-in-law over on the first day of your period.

While this column may have been too “hormonal” for some, it is important to note that we need to be more aware of our bodies and its changes, and how our diets and lifestyle play into it as, honestly, a bad day can easily lead us to make bad decisions.

On Twitter: @Arabianmau