The first reaction most people will have to the news that an Indian woman, Daljinder Kaur, has given birth at the age of 70 is surprise, swiftly followed by a sense of happiness at the clear delight the newborn boy has brought to his parents.
And then, if we are honest, the reactions become a bit more mixed. Mrs Kaur’s experience is certainly unusual. She conceived through in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment, a method usually used by women two or more decades younger than her. Her husband is 79 years old, meaning, to put it gently, that her son has a significant chance of losing a parent before he reaches puberty. There may be health complications for both parents and son, and of course there are other pressures on children with older parents – they may be singled out for it at school, and will probably grow up without their guidance.
Yet while this particular case is unusual, it is part of a growing trend for mothers to have children later in life. Greater participation in higher education and work means that, across the developed world, the average age of motherhood is rising. How much this is a problem depends on your perspective – indeed, even asking whether it is a problem can seem like a prejudice.
Start with the aspect of choice. Many will feel, unfairly perhaps, that it is selfish for parents to have children later in life. If they are not around, the extended family or society will have to look after their offspring. Others will point out that, with so many children waiting to be adopted, the desire for a family could be more easily fulfilled. Yet at the end of that debate is an impossible question – should limits be set on when mothers can conceive? And the answer to that must clearly be no, because there is no workable answer that would be fair or moral. Happiness is certainly the right of every person to pursue, and how it is pursued must be up to individuals to decide. Cases such as Mrs Kaur’s make us question some things we thought were fundamental. They are complex. But we also need to insist on other fundamentals, such as the pursuit of personal fulfilment.