Al Murray has carved a successful TV career acting out the role of a typically xenophobic, bigoted and small-minded Anglophile. Joel Ryan / Invision / AP Photo
Al Murray has carved a successful TV career acting out the role of a typically xenophobic, bigoted and small-minded Anglophile. Joel Ryan / Invision / AP Photo

In UK politics, you’d best be careful what you wish for



Singer-songwriter Tom Lehrer once famously declared that “political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize”. Now, Al Murray, a popular British comedian, has put his own spin on the genre by declaring his intention to stand for parliament at the general election in May.

Murray has carved a successful TV career acting out the role of a typically xenophobic, bigoted and small-minded Anglophile. Murray has brought his Pub Landlord act to Dubai on several occasions.

Murray’s decision to stand for election as MP in Thanet South is one of careful calculation. It is the same constituency that Nigel Farage, the leader of the United Kingdom Independence party, is also contesting.

Murray’s manifesto, announced last week, is deliberately designed to lampoon UKIP, a party many accuse of being, like the comedian’s fictional creation, comprises xenophobic, bigoted and small-minded anglophiles.

Among the election pledges is a promise to revalue the £1 coin to £1.10 (“thus giving everyone 10 pence more”) and to brick up the Channel Tunnel to prevent further immigration. Murray also pledges to have the UK withdrawn from the EU by 2020, while unemployment is to be made a crime punishable by imprisonment.

To Mr Farage’s credit, he managed to offer a rictus grin and a stilted word of welcome to his new and unwanted political rival. “The Pub Landlord? Now that’s what I call some serious opposition”, he chirruped on his Twitter account last week.

And in truth, scurrilous fringe political parties have a rich heritage in British politics, ever since showbiz personalities realised it was a cheap way to achieve national exposure. Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, The Official Monster Raving Loony Party was a familiar presence at by-elections throughout the country, usually in the guise of the self-styled Screaming Lord Sutch, a former pop singer turned self-publicist.

A couple of hundred votes at the ballot box and a brief appearance on our TV screens when the result was declared was all Lord Sutch ever craved, and inevitably all he ever got. Indeed, he lost all 40 elections he contested.

More recent examples include the Fancy Dress Party, the Teddy Bear Alliance, and the Bus Pass Elvis Party, each of which have flittered briefly across the political landscape without causing much more than a wry smile from politicians and pundits. They have added to the fun, but little more.

But Murray’s intervention in Thanet South could be more fraught. While Mr Farage may be an object of scorn and derision among many at Westminster, for a wide preponderance of traditional working class voters, especially those in the south-east – where Thanet is located and where Mr Farage has a very real prospect of being elected – he and his party are seen as offering a mouthpiece for local views and concerns.

The people of Thanet may not take kindly to seeing their self-proclaimed champion sent up by the presence of a TV comedian, one who arguably has no place in the political arena. Indeed, when another popular (and populist) celebrity, Russell Brand, took the chance on a recent TV political chat show in the nearby city of Canterbury to savage the UKIP leader to his face, he was stopped in his tracks and roundly condemned by a vociferous reaction from many in the audience, for whom Mr Farage is something of a hero. Having been turned upon so unexpectedly, Brand barely opened his mouth during the rest of the programme.

The incident serves as a warning. However highly Murray’s Pub Landlord is rated as entertainment, the people of Thanet may not want him meddling in their affairs. He may go down a storm on TV, but whether voters will see the funny side of things next May is quite a different matter.

Michael Simkins is an actor and writer usually based in London

On Twitter: @michael_simkins

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How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

Shower or bath after being outside.

Wear a face mask.

Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.

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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
F1 drivers' standings

1. Lewis Hamilton, Mercedes 281

2. Sebastian Vettel, Ferrari 247

3. Valtteri Bottas, Mercedes 222

4. Daniel Ricciardo, Red Bull 177

5. Kimi Raikkonen, Ferrari 138

6. Max Verstappen, Red Bull 93

7. Sergio Perez, Force India 86

8. Esteban Ocon, Force India 56

'My Son'

Director: Christian Carion

Starring: James McAvoy, Claire Foy, Tom Cullen, Gary Lewis

Rating: 2/5

Bio

Age: 25

Town: Al Diqdaqah – Ras Al Khaimah

Education: Bachelors degree in mechanical engineering

Favourite colour: White

Favourite place in the UAE: Downtown Dubai

Favourite book: A Life in Administration by Ghazi Al Gosaibi.

First owned baking book: How to Be a Domestic Goddess by Nigella Lawson.

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Starring: Ajay Devgn, Tabu, Shantanu Maheshwari, Jimmy Shergill, Saiee Manjrekar

Director: Neeraj Pandey

Rating: 2.5/5

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The specs

Engine: 1.5-litre turbo

Power: 181hp

Torque: 230Nm

Transmission: 6-speed automatic

Starting price: Dh79,000

On sale: Now

THE SPECS

Engine: 4.0L twin-turbo V8

Gearbox: eight-speed automatic

Power: 571hp at 6,000rpm

Torque: 800Nm from 2,000-4,500rpm

Fuel economy, combined: 11.4L/100km

Price, base: from Dh571,000

On sale: this week

Tree of Hell

Starring: Raed Zeno, Hadi Awada, Dr Mohammad Abdalla

Director: Raed Zeno

Rating: 4/5

The more serious side of specialty coffee

While the taste of beans and freshness of roast is paramount to the specialty coffee scene, so is sustainability and workers’ rights.

The bulk of genuine specialty coffee companies aim to improve on these elements in every stage of production via direct relationships with farmers. For instance, Mokha 1450 on Al Wasl Road strives to work predominantly with women-owned and -operated coffee organisations, including female farmers in the Sabree mountains of Yemen.

Because, as the boutique’s owner, Garfield Kerr, points out: “women represent over 90 per cent of the coffee value chain, but are woefully underrepresented in less than 10 per cent of ownership and management throughout the global coffee industry.”

One of the UAE’s largest suppliers of green (meaning not-yet-roasted) beans, Raw Coffee, is a founding member of the Partnership of Gender Equity, which aims to empower female coffee farmers and harvesters.

Also, globally, many companies have found the perfect way to recycle old coffee grounds: they create the perfect fertile soil in which to grow mushrooms. 

Day 1 results:

Open Men (bonus points in brackets)
New Zealand 125 (1) beat UAE 111 (3)
India 111 (4) beat Singapore 75 (0)
South Africa 66 (2) beat Sri Lanka 57 (2)
Australia 126 (4) beat Malaysia -16 (0)

Open Women
New Zealand 64 (2) beat South Africa 57 (2)
England 69 (3) beat UAE 63 (1)
Australia 124 (4) beat UAE 23 (0)
New Zealand 74 (2) beat England 55 (2)

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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: ARDH Collective
Based: Dubai
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Sector: Sustainability
Total funding: Self funded
Number of employees: 4
SPECS
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The specs: 2018 Renault Koleos

Price, base: From Dh77,900
Engine: 2.5L, in-line four-cylinder
Transmission: Continuously variable transmission
Power: 170hp @ 6,000rpm
Torque: 233Nm @ 4,000rpm
Fuel economy, combined: 8.3L / 100km

SPECS

Mini John Cooper Works Clubman and Mini John Cooper Works Countryman

Engine: two-litre 4-cylinder turbo

Transmission: nine-speed automatic

Power: 306hp

Torque: 450Nm

Price: JCW Clubman, Dh220,500; JCW Countryman, Dh225,500

The specs: 2019 Mercedes-Benz GLE

Price, base / as tested Dh274,000 (estimate)

Engine 3.0-litre inline six-cylinder

Gearbox  Nine-speed automatic

Power 245hp @ 4,200rpm

Torque 500Nm @ 1,600rpm

Fuel economy, combined 6.4L / 100km

Our legal consultant

Name: Hassan Mohsen Elhais

Position: legal consultant with Al Rowaad Advocates and Legal Consultants.

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Thanksgiving meals to try

World Cut Steakhouse, Habtoor Palace Hotel, Dubai. On Thursday evening, head chef Diego Solis will be serving a high-end sounding four-course meal that features chestnut veloute with smoked duck breast, turkey roulade accompanied by winter vegetables and foie gras and pecan pie, cranberry compote and popcorn ice cream.

Jones the Grocer, various locations across the UAE. Jones’s take-home holiday menu delivers on the favourites: whole roast turkeys, an array of accompaniments (duck fat roast potatoes, sausages wrapped in beef bacon, honey-glazed parsnips and carrots) and more, as  well as festive food platters, canapes and both apple and pumpkin pies.

Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, The Address Hotel, Dubai. This New Orleans-style restaurant is keen to take the stress out of entertaining, so until December 25 you can order a full seasonal meal from its Takeaway Turkey Feast menu, which features turkey, homemade gravy and a selection of sides – think green beans with almond flakes, roasted Brussels sprouts, sweet potato casserole and bread stuffing – to pick up and eat at home.

The Mattar Farm Kitchen, Dubai. From now until Christmas, Hattem Mattar and his team will be producing game- changing smoked turkeys that you can enjoy at home over the festive period.

Nolu’s, The Galleria Mall, Maryah Island Abu Dhabi. With much of the menu focused on a California inspired “farm to table” approach (with Afghani influence), it only seems right that Nolu’s will be serving their take on the Thanksgiving spread, with a brunch at the Downtown location from 12pm to 4pm on Friday.

How to turn your property into a holiday home
  1. Ensure decoration and styling – and portal photography – quality is high to achieve maximum rates.
  2. Research equivalent Airbnb homes in your location to ensure competitiveness.
  3. Post on all relevant platforms to reach the widest audience; whether you let personally or via an agency know your potential guest profile – aiming for the wrong demographic may leave your property empty.
  4. Factor in costs when working out if holiday letting is beneficial. The annual DCTM fee runs from Dh370 for a one-bedroom flat to Dh1,200. Tourism tax is Dh10-15 per bedroom, per night.
  5. Check your management company has a physical office, a valid DTCM licence and is licencing your property and paying tourism taxes. For transparency, regularly view your booking calendar.
MATCH INFO

Newcastle 2-2 Manchester City
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Chelsea 0-1 West Ham
Liverpool 2-1 Brighton
Tottenham 3-2 Bournemouth
Southampton v Watford (late)

Voices: How A Great Singer Can Change Your Life
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Venom

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed

Rating: 1.5/5

Moon Music

Artist: Coldplay

Label: Parlophone/Atlantic

Number of tracks: 10

Rating: 3/5