I’ve moved around a lot in my life and it hasn’t always been easy. I have both loved and hated being a perpetual nomad, but it was a lifestyle that definitely shaped not only how I view the world, but how I made friends and created social circles.
Coming to Abu Dhabi a year ago meant that for the first time in my life I was no longer an expat. Although I probably had many similar experiences to any newcomer to Abu Dhabi, I was at an advantage because I had family and a few friends around and spoke the language. This also came with its own set of issues. I realised that people had a predisposed idea of who I was as an Emirati woman and made particular assumptions about me.
As I tried to settle in and make friends, I started noticing and hearing complaints from residents of Abu Dhabi about how expats and locals did not mix. My initial feeling was to be taken aback by this.
In my immediate family I was used to a household open to those from all around the world, but in my day-to-day life it felt like I was expected to stick with Emirati women, just because I was one. I noticed that unless you had grown up here or had been to certain schools, many people who came to the UAE did not have Emirati friends that they routinely socialised with.
Many expats who come to the country end up sticking to their respective communities and, for the most part, Emiratis do not infiltrate these circles. As a result many foreigners, despite spending a long time here, still know very little about this country, its language or its people.
There seems to be frustration on both ends of this debate. Locals feel that expats do not want to mix with their culture and many expats feel like it is not easy to gain access to the inner circles of the local community.
But while this lack of integration is very much a reality, it is not the case all over. I also know expats who have Emirati friends and come together to celebrate Eid, Diwali or Christmas. Just recently, the mobile network du made a great advertisement for National Day that emphasised integration.
Not only did it show clips of Emiratis here and all around the world celebrating National Day, it also highlighted all the people from different backgrounds who live here and celebrate with us. It was truly heartwarming. I believe this is the way forward for our society.
I think the greatest problem arises from misunderstanding or the feeling that there isn’t common ground to socialise freely.
Having travelled the world and been blessed with the opportunity to experience many different cultures and traditions, I can comfortably say that Emirati hospitality is unrivalled. It bothers me to think that many people who live here do not experience it. As a society we just need to be able to bridge that initial gap that seems to be keeping people apart.
Whether it is derived from stereotypes, fear of what is different or simply reluctance to make the effort, we need to be more active in building a more inclusive society.
I believe a good first step would be to break down the language barrier. While Arabic is not an easy language to pick up, simply making an effort can go a long way.
Growing up abroad, I was always encouraged by my parents to learn the local language and I really think that it made a huge impact not only on the people that I met but also how much of the culture I got to learn about.
I truly believe that language opens up so many doors and conveys culture and traditions in a way that other things may not. It would really help expats mix with locals and is one of many ways that we can work to better integrate the community.
Making friends for me has never been restricted to nationality or religion. This is why I believe it is so great that people from all around the world live here. We need to feel like we are all connected just by living here, regardless of our nationality.
Fatima Al Shamsi is a globetrotting Emirati, foodie, film buff and football fanatic
