I have a friend who wanted to do something romantic and thoughtful for his wife. Apparently, there are still husbands like this.
She had endured a tough week, he told me. One of the kids was sick, there was a big crisis at her job, the kitchen remodeling job was suddenly delayed – it was a constellation of stress-inducing events, and he wanted to do something sweet to acknowledge how rough it had been on her.
“It was rough on you, too,” I said. “I mean, you had a tough week at work, and the sick kid is yours too, and you cook in that kitchen as often as she does. Shouldn’t she be doing something nice for you?”
“That,” my friend said, “is why you’re still single.”
His plan was carefully thought-out. Before she came home from work, the children were fed and planted in front of a movie. Then, he lit some expensive scented candles in the bathroom, drew a bath, put some rose petals in it, and turned on some softly romantic music. The minute she walked in the door, he ushered her to the bathroom and told her she had the evening to herself, to soak and relax and unwind.
It all seemed to be going very well, until half an hour later he knocked on the bathroom door and asked, “How is it, honey?”
“I’m cold,” she said.
And that was that. Some people, it seems, are impossible to satisfy.
My friend is a writer, so he’s used to that kind of reaction to a lot of hard work and preparation. That’s often what writers get when they turn in a script after months of toil. It’s a heady, stress-filled moment when you finally get to the end of a script, after countless rewrites and revisions, and type “Fade Out” at the end. Even the most confident and cocksure writer feels a twitch of insecurity.
I knew a studio executive who began every discussion of a first draft with a writer by saying, in as robotic a voice as possible: “Welikeditalotthere’salotofgreatstuffhere.” And then he’d quickly get down to the parts he didn’t like so much – the “I’m cold” part of the call.
As long as he started the call with a quick disclaimer, even one delivered in an expressionless monotone, he figured he had done his duty to the writer’s fragile ego. Any time during the conversation if he felt as if the writer was getting irritated or defensive, he’d interrupt the proceedings for another incantation of “Welikeditalotthere’salotofgreatstuffhere.” That, for him, was an all-purpose magic spell.
I’ve been guilty of that myself. When I write the first script of a television series, I’m just like every other writer, waiting for a reaction from the studio and network. But once a series moves forward and there are multiple episodes to produce, my position shifts a bit. Now I’m a producer as much as a writer. Now I’m giving notes and reactions, not getting them.
Last week, during a script meeting with a writer on the staff of a television series I’m producing, I kicked off the exchange by saying, “Hey, I think we’re in great shape. Just a couple of thoughts…” After which, it was pointed out to me later, I proceeded to ask for adjustments on every single page of the script.
“I thought we were in great shape,” the writer said to me at the end.
“We are,” I said. “I just think the script will be stronger with a few adjustments.”
“A few? You’re asking for a major rewrite. Why did you tell me we were in great shape if you think we need to change this much?”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I guess I was just trying to be nice.”
The writer left the room, muttering something under his breath. Yesterday, he came back with the new draft. There were still some problems with it, but rather than irritate him with my usual “We’re in great shape” I decided to take the example of my friend’s wife and just be blunt.
“Act three doesn’t work,” I said.
The writer was somehow even more irritated and offended than he had been before. “You know,” he said, “you have a lot to learn about motivating people.”
I told this to my friend whose wife had been so unmoved by his efforts to pamper her. “Isn’t it weird,” I asked him, “that when you try to be nice and soft-pedal something, people complain, and then when you don’t, they complain even more?”
“The fact that this surprises you,” he said to me, “is another reason why you’re still single.”
Rob Long is a writer and producer based in Hollywood
On Twitter: @rcbl
In%20the%20Land%20of%20Saints%20and%20Sinners
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Sun jukebox
Rufus Thomas, Bear Cat (The Answer to Hound Dog) (1953)
This rip-off of Leiber/Stoller’s early rock stomper brought a lawsuit against Phillips and necessitated Presley’s premature sale to RCA.
Elvis Presley, Mystery Train (1955)
The B-side of Presley’s final single for Sun bops with a drummer-less groove.
Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Two, Folsom Prison Blues (1955)
Originally recorded for Sun, Cash’s signature tune was performed for inmates of the titular prison 13 years later.
Carl Perkins, Blue Suede Shoes (1956)
Within a month of Sun’s February release Elvis had his version out on RCA.
Roy Orbison, Ooby Dooby (1956)
An essential piece of irreverent juvenilia from Orbison.
Jerry Lee Lewis, Great Balls of Fire (1957)
Lee’s trademark anthem is one of the era’s best-remembered – and best-selling – songs.
Pakistan World Cup squad
Sarfraz Ahmed (c), Fakhar Zaman, Imam-ul-Haq, Abid Ali, Babar Azam, Haris Sohail, Shoaib Malik, Mohammad Hafeez(subject to fitness), Imad Wasim, Shadab Khan, Hasan Ali, Faheem Ashraf, Junaid Khan, Shaheen Shah Afridi, Mohammad Hasnain
Two additions for England ODIs: Mohammad Amir and Asif Ali
Tank warfare
Lt Gen Erik Petersen, deputy chief of programs, US Army, has argued it took a “three decade holiday” on modernising tanks.
“There clearly remains a significant armoured heavy ground manoeuvre threat in this world and maintaining a world class armoured force is absolutely vital,” the general said in London last week.
“We are developing next generation capabilities to compete with and deter adversaries to prevent opportunism or miscalculation, and, if necessary, defeat any foe decisively.”
Company%20Profile
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COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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GRAN%20TURISMO
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COMPANY%20PROFILE%20
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PROFILE OF SWVL
Started: April 2017
Founders: Mostafa Kandil, Ahmed Sabbah and Mahmoud Nouh
Based: Cairo, Egypt
Sector: transport
Size: 450 employees
Investment: approximately $80 million
Investors include: Dubai’s Beco Capital, US’s Endeavor Catalyst, China’s MSA, Egypt’s Sawari Ventures, Sweden’s Vostok New Ventures, Property Finder CEO Michael Lahyani
In-demand jobs and monthly salaries
- Technology expert in robotics and automation: Dh20,000 to Dh40,000
- Energy engineer: Dh25,000 to Dh30,000
- Production engineer: Dh30,000 to Dh40,000
- Data-driven supply chain management professional: Dh30,000 to Dh50,000
- HR leader: Dh40,000 to Dh60,000
- Engineering leader: Dh30,000 to Dh55,000
- Project manager: Dh55,000 to Dh65,000
- Senior reservoir engineer: Dh40,000 to Dh55,000
- Senior drilling engineer: Dh38,000 to Dh46,000
- Senior process engineer: Dh28,000 to Dh38,000
- Senior maintenance engineer: Dh22,000 to Dh34,000
- Field engineer: Dh6,500 to Dh7,500
- Field supervisor: Dh9,000 to Dh12,000
- Field operator: Dh5,000 to Dh7,000
ARGYLLE
%3Cp%3EDirector%3A%20Matthew%20Vaughn%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3EStarring%3A%20Bryce%20Dallas%20Howard%2C%20Sam%20Rockwell%2C%20John%20Cena%3C%2Fp%3E%0A%3Cp%3ERating%3A%203%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
TRAP
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue
Director: M Night Shyamalan
Rating: 3/5
The%20specs
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EEngine%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203.9-litre%20twin-turbo%20V8%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPower%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E620hp%20from%205%2C750-7%2C500rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETorque%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3E760Nm%20from%203%2C000-5%2C750rpm%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ETransmission%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EEight-speed%20dual-clutch%20auto%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EOn%20sale%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3ENow%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPrice%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFrom%20Dh1.05%20million%20(%24286%2C000)%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
All%20The%20Light%20We%20Cannot%20See%20
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Uefa Nations League: How it works
The Uefa Nations League, introduced last year, has reached its final stage, to be played over five days in northern Portugal. The format of its closing tournament is compact, spread over two semi-finals, with the first, Portugal versus Switzerland in Porto on Wednesday evening, and the second, England against the Netherlands, in Guimaraes, on Thursday.
The winners of each semi will then meet at Porto’s Dragao stadium on Sunday, with the losing semi-finalists contesting a third-place play-off in Guimaraes earlier that day.
Qualifying for the final stage was via League A of the inaugural Nations League, in which the top 12 European countries according to Uefa's co-efficient seeding system were divided into four groups, the teams playing each other twice between September and November. Portugal, who finished above Italy and Poland, successfully bid to host the finals.
Company%20Profile
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The specs
Engine: 2.7-litre 4-cylinder Turbomax
Power: 310hp
Torque: 583Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh192,500
On sale: Now
Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
COMPANY%20PROFILE
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