'Knowledge to ashes': Gazan intellectual on verge of selling book collection to feed his children

Mahmoud Assaf could be forced to sell his 30,000-strong library to make ends meet

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Palestinian researcher and writer Mahmoud Assaf faces a heartbreaking dilemma. The brutal realities of the war in Gaza have forced him to consider selling his personal library, which consists of 30,000 books collected over 35 years, to feed his children.

In the midst of desperation and colder weather, an absence of fuel and lack of food, a bakery in Gaza city contacted Mr Assaf to ask him if they could burn the fruits of his intellectual pursuits to power a bread oven. The proposal devastated him. "Turning knowledge into ashes for survival feels like dying."

Originally a school maths teacher, Mr Assaf dedicated much of his time to scientific research. He has published over 100 studies and 25 books, recently completing a work chronicling the continuing war and its toll on ordinary people.

Despite his accomplishments, his life has been upended by conflict. Along with his wife and five children, he has been displaced five times – from Gaza city to Khan Younis to Rafah, and finally to where he is now, in a tent in Deir Al Balah. "I spent around US$30,000 – all my savings – on moving my family from place to place," he said. "I even sold my wife’s jewellery to secure safe shelter, and now we live in a tent."

Throughout the years, his library has been his sanctuary. "It was my heaven, my escape from life's harshness," he said. The first book in his collection was a gift from his mother, who could not adapt to life in a tent and died during the war.

More recent additions were bought in January 2023 from a book fair in Cairo. Mr Assaf has not had the chance to read these because of the conflict. His library even survived the bombing of his home, which damaged but did not completely destroy the collection. He then entrusted his neighbours to protect it.

As the war drags on, Mr Assaf has lost hope of returning home. "I feel like we may never go back to Gaza city," he said. "But abandoning the most precious thing in my life is not easy."

What he once envisioned as a legacy for public benefit could become fuel for survival. "I dreamt of giving these books to the community, not seeing them turned to ashes to bake bread," he added. His library, a lifelong labour of love, stands as a poignant reminder of what is lost when conflict erases the intellectual and cultural heritage of a people.

Even now, with his family's survival at stake, he is struggling with the decision to sell as people urge him to reconsider. “They encourage me to not sell the books and they support me, which makes me feel that we as a community still have hope for a bright future.”