Sudha Devi survived India's most deadly accident in more than a decade.
On Tuesday, at least 122 people were crushed to death at a religious ceremony in Uttar Pradesh, most of them women.
Ms Devi, 30, and her four-year-old son Evansh attended the gathering in Hathras in India’s northern state to hear sermons from a popular “godman” when a commotion started in the crowd.
She passed out then recovered to find herself buried under scores of people, gasping for breath.
“I became unconscious. When I regained my senses, my son was not with me. Some people were screaming that this woman was dead. They were throwing water on my face. I was crying and asking them where my son was,” Ms Devi told The National.
Some people helped her to her feet.
“I frantically started looking for Evansh everywhere, even checked where some children were sitting but I could not find him,” she said.
“I was hitting my head in frustration and just collapsed on the ground. Then somebody came and dropped him in my lap. He was dead.”
Tuesday's journey was a long-awaited outing for Ms Devi from neighbouring Kasganj district, who has been a devout follower of policeman-turned-Hindu preacher Narayan Sakar Hari, known as Bhole Baba.
She said a commotion began after the sermon ended and some women started running after the preacher.
“I thought I could keep away from the crowd but they pulled me down with them,” she said.
Conflicting accounts about what led to the incident have emerged. One said that of a group of women ran after the preacher to seek his blessings.
Initial police investigations blamed an uncontrolled crowd for the incident. The government has ordered a high-level investigation to determine the cause of so many deaths.
More than 250,000 people, nearly three times the permitted number, had gathered for the congregation at the open-air venue in Hathras, about 200km south of New Delhi.
India is a deeply religious nation, with hundreds of millions of people practising their faith daily, including large numbers of people who attend such sermons hosted by preachers and godmen to seek blessings.
Ms Devi said that she had attended at least five events where Bhole Baba preached, but Tuesday’s gathering was the first when a crowd had grown beyond capacity.
“I always took Evansh with me because he was the youngest of my four children. I did not know he would not come back home.
“I had never seen such a crowd at any of Baba’s past events.”
The Uttar Pradesh police on Wednesday filed a criminal case against the organisers, accusing them of flouting event regulations.
The authorities had provided permission for a gathering of 80,000 people.
Mr Hari has not been named in the complaint.
However, police have been unable to find and interview him at his ashrams.
The police report also stated that volunteers “were carrying sticks and stopped the crowd”.
Uttar Pradesh Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath on Wednesday met survivors and the families of people who died, and suggested the crush may have been the result of a conspiracy.
“The organisers tried to cover up the incident but most of them ran away after police arrived. We have formed a special investigation team. There are several angles that need to be investigated,” Mr Adityanath said.
“This cannot just be an accident. If it is an accident, then who is responsible, and if it is not just an accident, then who is the conspirator?
“We will have a judicial inquiry as well which will be led by a retired high court judge.”
He also said that the government would bring in protocols for such events to avoid more tragedies.
“This will not happen again … we will ensure that,” Mr Adityanath said.
He has announced compensation of 200,000 rupees ($2,400) each to the families of the deceased and 50,000 rupees ($600) for relatives of those injured.
Prime Minister Narendra Modi also announced a compensation package.
The incident has aroused public anger against the preacher and the authorities for their failure to make adequate arrangements for so many people.
“The Baba is absconding. He must come forward and meet the survivors and say what happened. The authorities also failed to control the situation. There were not enough security arrangements,” Rahuraj Singh, 50, a labourer, told The National.
Mr Singh and his wife Nandini Devi narrowly escaped the crush.
“Bodies were strewn, some were smeared in mud. Some people were taking the injured in their cars. I feel lucky to have survived but I am distraught.”
The couple had been disciples of Bhole Baba for more than a decade, but the incident has shaken their belief.
“My wife was a believer and she used to take me with her. But now, after this incident, I have understood that this is all deception,” Mr Singh said.
India has a grim record of crowd management, and such accidents are common.
At least 115 devotees were killed in 2013 during a crush at a temple in Madhya Pradesh.
In 2008, at least 224 pilgrims were crushed to death at a hilltop temple in western Rajasthan, where more than 400 were injured.
