If there’s such a thing as a typical spa customer, rest assured that, on this occasion at least, it was not yours truly. Looking to soothe the twin pains of a first game of competitive cricket in about a decade and multiple ungraceful dismounts from a mechanical bull at a friend’s birthday party, it’s safe to assume none of the other customers at the Ritz-Carlton’s ESPA spa were in an identically tender pre-treatment position.
Fortunately, at two hours in length, there aren’t many more opulent options on ESPA’s menu to ease aches away than the signature Oasis Ritual. Booking an entire day at the 2,000-square-foot, stand-alone, beachfront facility is perhaps the only upgrade you could indulge in.
The dual-therapist treatment – swapping from male to female at the midpoint – was a well-being game of two halves. It began with a Moroccan-style hammam. In the North African nation, the hammam is predominantly an affordable, regular pursuit – and a highly social one at that – for the country’s male folk, but this was a more private experience, in ESPA’s specialised hammam room. Our chatty Romanian therapist helped to ease what could have been a vaguely awkward atmosphere by discussing, among other things, professional football players from his homeland – just the type of manly conversation that, we hope, bounces off the walls in traditional Moroccan hammams.
After a brief foot ritual of restorative bath oil and body-smoothing shower gel, I lay down on the octagonal, marble centrepiece. Unlike another five-star-hotel hammam we endured in Abu Dhabi, where the gallons of painfully hot water used made the whole shebang feel like some kind of medieval torture, ESPA was much lighter on the quantities of more-lukewarm liquid. And although the treatment wasn’t one you’d describe as “comfortable”, owing to a towel being the only barrier between your rib cage/back and the stone, added to the deliberately sandpaper-esque scrub, it hit the spot. And even several days later our skin was still silkily smooth to the touch.
A rubdown with a jasmine-infused Moroccan black soap, a marine-mud body mask with a caramel texture, a foam wash and an “awakening” shampoo were interspersed with two short spells in the steam room, followed by brief stints in the in-hammam shower cubicle (replete with shade-changing mood lighting that gave the rather disorientating sensation of enjoying a quick clean on a discotheque dance floor).
Phase one completed, we were whisked off to a second, somewhat drier treatment room by a diminutive Thai therapist. Appearances are almost always deceptive in such circumstances: what she lacked in size, she certainly made up for in strength during a warm-oil massage that occasionally had us wincing as elbows and fingers sought out the creakiest enclaves between ribs and shoulder blades. A test of a good massage is not to give any pre-pummelling advice on which areas require special attention; to our delight, our therapist zoned in on neck and shoulder stiffness within moments, without any directions. The concluding scalp massage, meanwhile, was firm and uncompromising, but, at the same time, very nearly sent us off into a woozy doze.
• A 120-minute Oasis Ritual at ESPA at Ritz-Carlton Abu Dhabi, Grand Canal, costs Dh1,070, plus taxes. Call 02 818 8051 for bookings
aworkman@thenational.ae
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The UAE squad for the Asian Indoor and Martial Arts Games
The jiu-jitsu men’s team: Faisal Al Ketbi, Zayed Al Kaabi, Yahia Al Hammadi, Taleb Al Kirbi, Obaid Al Nuaimi, Omar Al Fadhli, Zayed Al Mansoori, Saeed Al Mazroui, Ibrahim Al Hosani, Mohammed Al Qubaisi, Salem Al Suwaidi, Khalfan Belhol, Saood Al Hammadi.
Women’s team: Mouza Al Shamsi, Wadeema Al Yafei, Reem Al Hashmi, Mahra Al Hanaei, Bashayer Al Matrooshi, Hessa Thani, Salwa Al Ali.
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BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE
Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega
Director: Tim Burton
Rating: 3/5
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The Good Liar
Starring: Helen Mirren, Ian McKellen
Directed by: Bill Condon
Three out of five stars
The low down
Producers: Uniglobe Entertainment & Vision Films
Director: Namrata Singh Gujral
Cast: Rajkummar Rao, Nargis Fakhri, Bo Derek, Candy Clark
Rating: 2/5
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Results
5pm: UAE Martyrs Cup (TB) Conditions Dh90,000 2,200m
Winner: Mudaarab, Jim Crowley (jockey), Erwan Charpy (trainer).
5.30pm: Wathba Stallions Cup (PA) Handicap Dh70,000 1,400m
Winner: Jawal Al Reef, Richard Mullen, Hassan Al Hammadi.
6pm: UAE Matyrs Trophy (PA) Maiden Dh80,000 1,600m
Winner: Salima Al Reef, Jesus Rosales, Abdallah Al Hammadi.
6.30pm: Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak (IFAHR) Apprentice Championship (PA) Prestige Dh100,000 1,600m
Winner: Bainoona, Ricardo Iacopini, Eric Lemartinel.
7pm: Sheikha Fatima bint Mubarak (IFAHR) Ladies World Championship (PA) Prestige Dh125,000 1,600m
Winner: Assyad, Victoria Larsen, Eric Lemartinel.
8pm: Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan Jewel Crown (PA) Group 1 Dh5,000,000 1,600m
Winner: Mashhur Al Khalediah, Jean-Bernard Eyquem, Phillip Collington.
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Greatest of All Time
Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
Allardyce's management career
Clubs (10) - Limerick (1991-1992), Perston North End (1992), Blackpool (1994-1996), Notts County (1997-1999), Bolton Wanderers (1999-2007), Newcastle United (2007-2008), Blackburn Rovers (2008-2010), West Ham United (2011-2015), Sunderland (2016), Crystal Palace (2016-2017)
Countries (1) - England (2016)
Match info
Wolves 0
Arsenal 2 (Saka 43', Lacazette 85')
Man of the match: Shkodran Mustafi (Arsenal)
Scoreline:
Barcelona 2
Suarez 85', Messi 86'
Atletico Madrid 0
Red card: Diego Costa 28' (Atletico)
Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
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RACECARD
6pm Emaar Dubai Sprint – Conditions (TB) $60,000 (Turf) 1,200m
6.35pm Graduate Stakes – Conditions (TB) $100,000 (Dirt) 1,600m
7.10pm Al Khail Trophy – Listed (TB) $100,000 (T) 2,810m
7.45pm UAE 1000 Guineas – Listed (TB) $150,000 (D) 1,600m
8.20pm Zabeel Turf – Listed (TB) $100,000 (T) 2,000m
8.55pm Downtown Dubai Cup – Rated Conditions (TB) $80,000 (D) 1,400m
9.30pm Zabeel Mile – Group 2 (TB) $180,000 (T) 1,600m
10.05pm Dubai Sprint – Listed (TB) $100,000 (T) 1,200m
AGL AWARDS
Golden Ball - best Emirati player: Khalfan Mubarak (Al Jazira)
Golden Ball - best foreign player: Igor Coronado (Sharjah)
Golden Glove - best goalkeeper: Adel Al Hosani (Sharjah)
Best Coach - the leader: Abdulaziz Al Anbari (Sharjah)
Fans' Player of the Year: Driss Fetouhi (Dibba)
Golden Boy - best young player: Ali Saleh (Al Wasl)
Best Fans of the Year: Sharjah
Goal of the Year: Michael Ortega (Baniyas)