What are you doing for Valentine's Day boys?" I asked my two gentlemen colleagues one morning earlier this week. Both have other halves, both gazed back at me blankly.
"Well, my birthday's so close to Valentine's Day that we might just do a meal for both," perked up one eventually, in what may be the greatest display of romance since Romeo swallowed a little vial of poison.
But it was, at least, better than the other colleague who continued to look blank. And faintly alarmed. Had he not heard Cupid's soft footstep approaching, flanked by an army of Hallmark nonsense? "Send bundles of love direct to their inbox," screams the greeting card's website. Yuk. Great bundles of vomit more like.
Goodness though isn't the pressure on these poor men unbearable? Flowers, card, chocolates, dinner out, a weekend away? Oh the wretchedness of it all, and of (probably) getting it completely wrong in the end anyway. One tip for you all boys: best bet not take up on IKEA's offering this year. Several of its outlets are offering a Valentine's menu of smoked salmon, beef stroganoff and tiramisu. "Why not treat yourself and your loved ones to our special Valentine's meal offer available in our customer restaurant," runs the company's blurb.
Because it will end in divorce, that's why.
Being a single girl isn't that much better. I am reminded of my excited, 14-year-old self whose diary entry some years ago read "got three Valentine's cards in the post this morning". The "three" was heavily underscored. But this all came to naught with the next sentence, which announced sadly "all from family". Pitiful, on all sides. Why couldn't they have just disguised their handwriting?
I have spent Valentine's Days with past boyfriends, once on a woeful singles' night (is there anything sadder than a gathering of singletons checking each other out on Valentine's night?) and most memorably, with my girlfriends - best of all was when we were about 19, and I was leaving for six months' travelling in Asia the next day.
We stayed up late, laughed childishly at our own jokes and bought supper from McDonald's. Three Big Macs eaten from a paper bag on the Tottenham Court Road may not sound like anybody's idea of romance, but at least it didn't make us feel sick. Which is more than you can say for most Hallmark cards.
'Lost in Space'
Creators: Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless, Irwin Allen
Stars: Molly Parker, Toby Stephens, Maxwell Jenkins
Rating: 4/5
The five pillars of Islam
Jigra
Starring: Alia Bhatt, Vedang Raina, Manoj Pahwa, Harsh Singh
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APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)
Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits
Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine
Storage: 128/256/512GB
Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4
Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps
Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID
Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight
In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter
Price: From Dh2,099
THE SIXTH SENSE
Starring: Bruce Willis, Toni Collette, Hayley Joel Osment
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Rating: 5/5
Moon Music
Artist: Coldplay
Label: Parlophone/Atlantic
Number of tracks: 10
Rating: 3/5
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How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
Zayed Sustainability Prize
Killing of Qassem Suleimani
Dengue%20fever%20symptoms
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TRAP
Starring: Josh Hartnett, Saleka Shyamalan, Ariel Donaghue
Director: M Night Shyamalan
Rating: 3/5
Gulf Under 19s
Pools
A – Dubai College, Deira International School, Al Ain Amblers, Warriors
B – Dubai English Speaking College, Repton Royals, Jumeirah College, Gems World Academy
C – British School Al Khubairat, Abu Dhabi Harlequins, Dubai Hurricanes, Al Yasmina Academy
D – Dubai Exiles, Jumeirah English Speaking School, English College, Bahrain Colts
Recent winners
2018 – Dubai College
2017 – British School Al Khubairat
2016 – Dubai English Speaking School
2015 – Al Ain Amblers
2014 – Dubai College
The more serious side of specialty coffee
While the taste of beans and freshness of roast is paramount to the specialty coffee scene, so is sustainability and workers’ rights.
The bulk of genuine specialty coffee companies aim to improve on these elements in every stage of production via direct relationships with farmers. For instance, Mokha 1450 on Al Wasl Road strives to work predominantly with women-owned and -operated coffee organisations, including female farmers in the Sabree mountains of Yemen.
Because, as the boutique’s owner, Garfield Kerr, points out: “women represent over 90 per cent of the coffee value chain, but are woefully underrepresented in less than 10 per cent of ownership and management throughout the global coffee industry.”
One of the UAE’s largest suppliers of green (meaning not-yet-roasted) beans, Raw Coffee, is a founding member of the Partnership of Gender Equity, which aims to empower female coffee farmers and harvesters.
Also, globally, many companies have found the perfect way to recycle old coffee grounds: they create the perfect fertile soil in which to grow mushrooms.
Venom
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Cast: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, Riz Ahmed
Rating: 1.5/5
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
PETER%20PAN%20%26%20WENDY
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Fixtures:
Wed Aug 29 – Malaysia v Hong Kong, Nepal v Oman, UAE v Singapore
Thu Aug 30 - UAE v Nepal, Hong Kong v Singapore, Malaysia v Oman
Sat Sep 1 - UAE v Hong Kong, Oman v Singapore, Malaysia v Nepal
Sun Sep 2 – Hong Kong v Oman, Malaysia v UAE, Nepal v Singapore
Tue Sep 4 - Malaysia v Singapore, UAE v Oman, Nepal v Hong Kong
Thu Sep 6 – Final