During the First World War there was a type of vessel known as the Q-ship – a merchant ship with concealed armament, designed to entice enemy submarines into making surface attacks. Once the enemy was lured, the Q-ship would let rip with its guns and sink the sub.
What brings Q-ships to mind is the metallic silver Golf R you see pictured here. If ever there were a “street sleeper”, this is it. The Veedub is so understated that an untrained eye might struggle to differentiate the Golf spearhead from a run-of-the-mill 1.2L model. The clues to its massive extra performance are stealthy – a quartet of tailpipes, larger-diameter rims (18-inchers are standard; 19s are optional), a 20-millimetre lower ride height and a bodykit so low-key that even a lesser Golf GTI looks more aggressive.
Volkswagen says this is by design, as the hugely powerful Golf R is meant to be a grown-up’s hot hatch, not a boy-racer special with go-faster stripes. It’s the thinking man’s everyday blaster, equally capable of demolishing twisty back roads as it is of tackling the peak-hour crawl and Spinneys shopping excursions. All this is accomplished without drawing a skerrick of attention. This might not suit self-promoting wannabes, but as I just said, it’s aimed at more cerebral types.
The previous-generation Golf R and the R32 that preceded it were always quick and sure-footed cars, but VW has subjected the latest iteration to a Bruce Banner/Incredible Hulk transformation. It’s no longer an entertainingly brisk chariot. It’s now rapid enough to make you chortle like a lunatic the first time you mash the throttle and get launched towards the horizon.
The key to the Golf R’s fun factor is the engine – a derivative of the 2.0L turbo unit found in the GTI, but in this case the wick is turned up to liberate 276bhp and a barrel-chested 380Nm that’s on tap from 1,800 to 5,500rpm. When you first drive it, you’ll likely scratch your head and wonder how it is that a 2.0L four-cylinder power plant can feel like a 4.0L V8. The eye-watering performance it serves up is achieved with effortless ease. There’s no need to rev the living daylights out of it. Just stand on the gas and feel your eyeballs being propelled to the back of your skull.
Volkswagen quotes a 0-100kph split of 4.9 seconds, although that’s for the Euro-spec version with an extra 20bhp (GCC models are detuned to enable them to comfortably cope with the extreme heat here). Add a tenth of a second or two to the Euro Golf R’s 0-100 split to factor this in, and you’re still left with a formidably fast hatchback.
As is the VW norm, the engine is hooked-up to a DSG dual-clutch sequential gearbox, but with six ratios instead of the seven that the GTI has. However, the biggest departure from the front-wheel-drive GTI is that the R is equipped with a 4Motion all-wheel-drive system that’s always been a hallmark of the Golf flagship.
The “all-paw” set-up is aided and abetted by electronic systems such as EDS differential locks, XDS+ and an uprated ESC (Electronic Stability Control) safety net to enable you to harness all the grunt that the R has to offer. Tapping the ESC button on the centre console puts it in “ESC Sport” mode, which increases the sliding threshold before pulling in the reins. If you hold the button down for three seconds, it deactivates completely, leaving you to your own devices. The R is the only Golf to get the deactivation feature, but needless to say, it’s best used on the racetrack, rather than public roads in the vicinity of other motorists.
The other significant dynamic upgrade to the Golf R is that aforementioned lower ride, which means it sits 5mm closer to the tarmac than even the GTI. The front and rear suspension set-ups have also been modified to make the R tauter and more agile than its siblings. Oh yes, it gets bigger brakes, too.
What all this means is that the Golf R corners flat and hard, and there’s a staggering amount of grip when you’re really leaning on it. You really don’t need a broader performance envelope than this in an everyday road car. It’s a bona-fide giant killer, but what will really make it appeal to some buyers is its understated nature.
The interior is also a model of restrained elegance, with well-sculpted, fabric-Alcantara sports seats; a leather-trimmed, three-spoke steering wheel; piano-black trim on the centre console; and stylish alloy pedals. The cabin is an agreeable place to be, and there’s no supercar-style restricted view, as the large glasshouse makes for excellent visibility in all directions.
In my mental star-rating system, the previous Golf R was a four-star car – it was quick and entertaining, but it never had me grinning like a fool. The latest one does, and it ticks all the other boxes, too. Five stars, then.
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