Futch?
If you have never been to Sweden you should go, if only to witness how a modern country should function. Everything works, quietly ticking along like a well-oiled machine. Even in subzero temperatures the people appear achingly beautiful, fresh faced and ever so hip.
This time around, in terms of style I noticed a peculiar little sub-trend. On first sighting I thought it must be a practicality issue (dressing for -23C often is), but the more I looked I realised it was intentional - women dressing in what appeared to be a man's wardrobe.
"It's the new thing here. We call it futch," my friend peeped. "Feminine butch."
Needless to say I nearly choked on my smorgasbord. I hoped for a smidgen of a laugh, an ironic grin, but no, it seems the Swedes take their style as seriously as they do their taxes.
Now, there is no denying we live in a part of the world where (for want of a better phrase) girls will be girls. A land where party dresses seem to reflect a burning desire to be a princess. There is no shortage of diamonds, and silver sequins topped off with marshmallow ruffle, so it was somewhat refreshing to witness these razor-sharp pioneers.
So what's the scoop? How to wear menswear without looking like a man? First, and most importantly, this is not as simple as nicking your boyfriend's jacket that is three sizes too big for you (although he would more than likely find this cute it would inevitably cause a rift). It will also look ridiculous on your shoulders. Second, from what I have seen, one will need to have about as much body fat as a stray cat to pull this look off. Think Hedi Slimane (the former Dior designer famed for the slim male silhouette) or anyone whom Alex Chung and the like date.
Start with your jacket, as you will build around this. Try a steel grey smoking jacket or a satin-trimmed tuxedo. I hasten to add that you will need to fork out a hefty sum for it because it has to behave impeccably, clinging to the right parts (your shoulders) and draping beautifully around the area where you once had hips. Look for masculine detailing - double cuffs, a starched collar - even ticking stripes and the addition of a pair of sharp cufflinks.
This is what we call modern dressing, ladies, and if nothing else think of it as an ironic nod to your gracious banking brothers who stole your only chance of a bonus. Ever.