Here's a word of advice: do not bother ordering the Shanghai Chicken Salad from Cosi. It doesn't really exist. The menu claims that the salad contains: mixed greens, grilled chicken breast, Asian noodles, carrots, scallions and low-fat ginger soy dressing. No it does not. It contains mixed greens. Full stop. The bowl of lettuce (pictured above) that was presented to my ravenous self prompted a quick phone call to Cosi to ask why, exactly, my order was so lacking. Apparently, they are out of Asian noodles, said the lady who answered the phone. Why did you not tell us that when we placed the order? Well, she didn't know. So, why didn't you call us back and check with us after you found out that one of the salad's main ingredients was not going to make an appearance? Well ... silence. None of this, of course, explains why my salad was also lacking in any chicken breast or dressing. Overhearing my dilemma, an editor recounted a suspiciously similar tale: some years ago, when placing an order with Cosi from The National's newsroom, his late salad's arrival also caused some consternation. Devoid of anything but limp salad, he called Cosi to enquire. "We are all out of Asian noodles in our kitchen," he was told. I think, perhaps, that Asian noodles are now an extinct ingredient? Which begs the question: why was the menu never updated? "You are banned from the newsroom," said the frustrated editor to the indifferent person on the phone. I can't help wonder if it's still the same employee, after all those years. His dramatic encounter with Cosi resulted in a plate of free desserts delivered to the paper the next day, and carried in personally by an apologetic manager. My unfortunate salad incident, however, has not yet resulted in anything but a grumbling stomach and a very sad pile of mixed greens that I can't make myself eat sans dressing. Cosi, you really need to get your act together, because even though you make the best tomato and basil soup we've ever tried in the capital, that does not give you carte blanche to leave your customers hungry and disgruntled. Hala Khalaf