Emirati Anisa Al Sharif had a high-flying position as the director of socio-economic development for Dubai government’s Executive Council.
But four years ago, when she quit her job and dedicated herself to being a mother, she realised that there was a lot she didn’t know about raising a child.
“I was very confused and had a lot of questions,” she says. “I wanted to be a good mother as much as I could, so I started researching. I came across lots of interesting material out there – blogs, parenting groups and support – but all of it was in English. I also attended workshops here in Dubai, all in English. I thought, ‘How can I pass on this knowledge I’m learning to the Emirati community?’”
It’s usually customary for women to turn to their own mothers for advice on navigating the minefield of motherhood. But Al Sharif, 31, points out that it’s not so clear-cut for Emirati families today.
“My mum didn’t go to school, and I did my masters in the United Kingdom,” she says. “In one generation, this massive social change happened in the UAE. How can my mother support me in my life, which is totally different from her experience? She doesn’t have the tools. This is what’s going on in the majority of Emirati families.”
Al Sharaf decided to start free monthly Arabic-language workshops for Emirati women to learn parenting strategies, as well as to “encourage debate and share knowledge”.
It was essential that the workshops be presented in Arabic and that the advice should not simply be translated from English.
“There’s a huge cultural package that comes with language,” says Al Sharif. “When I translated the parenting advice that I was reading from English to Arabic in my head, it was eye opening – I felt like if I was reading these articles for the first time.
“I realised how we need to develop homegrown content. Of course you need the scientific knowledge and the best techniques, but how do you present it in a way that’s relevant to the community?”
At a recent workshop, one of the attendees, who lives with her husband’s family, raised a question about a domestic issue she was trying to resolve. “The dynamic in the Emirati family is still very much traditional, and unless you understood that, you couldn’t read what was going on behind her question,” says Al Sharif.
“Because I knew where she was coming from, I sensed a tension between her and her husband’s family. But the trainer wasn’t able to pick up on that, so the advice she gave wasn’t helpful. These small things make a difference in terms of how much you get out of a workshop.”
Al Sharif joined forces with two other women, Fatma Al Madani, 30, and Basma Al Fahim, 31, to hold the first parenting workshop last month at Fairytales, their jointly owned play centre in Jumeirah, with social and family guidance consultant Aisha Al Mutawa taking over as the workshop leader.
“People tell me I’m too hands-on for my own good,” says Al Madani, who quit her government job when her second daughter was born. “I don’t have a nanny because I want to raise my kids on my own. The only person I’d leave my daughters with when I was working was my mother.
“The workshop was mostly about the vital importance of a mother’s role, to help them feel good about themselves, as many mums leave their careers to raise their kids,” says Al Madani. “Aisha also discussed dealing with family conflicts and ways to stay calm, such as breathing techniques. There were lots of questions from mums on parenting challenges they were facing.”
As Al Sharif watched Al Mutwa talking to the mums, she noticed how her body language and the way she approached them was culturally significant.
“Emiratis read verses of the Quran to our children at night or when they are sick. So as Aisha was talking about the importance of touch, she told them: ‘When you are putting your kids to bed and you read them the Quran, keep rubbing their skin’. As simple as this might seem, the women were intently listening and writing it down.”
Al Sharif also plans to take her workshops to Dubai’s Latifa Hospital for Women and Children. And there’s more in the works.
“I’m also planning to start a parenting blog, where I will translate the advice that I’m reading about into Arabic,” says Al Sharif. We would love to do something for Emirati fathers, too.”
• The next workshop, which takes place at Fairytales in Jumeirah Town Centre on Wednesday from 10.30am to 12pm, is on the theme of language of love. The event offers free entry to the play area for parents and two children. Contact info@zoomin.photo for more details
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