Suresh has seen enough. After babbling instructions, my arm waving has caused a plate to shatter on the kitchen floor and he pulls me aside discreetly. “Sir, I think it is time for you to go.” The man is kicking me out of my own house. To be honest, I would have done the same just without his calm bedside manner.
The reason for my neurotic behaviour? I'm "advising" Suresh's stoic crew, who are helping me move, to treat every item – from a chipped cup to a thank you card – with the care befitting a painting by Picasso.
I'm not the best when it comes to interior design. I've been living in this flat for seven years and on a good day it can resemble a neat hospital waiting room. However, all the items in my home, from the books to the craggy couch, are priceless to me.
And that’s because over the years I learned that I value things less for their beauty and more for sentimental reasons. This has made for some strange shopping experiences with friends and family.
Two months ago, I decided that it was time to buy a new bed. The decision was forced upon me after my battered mattress took on a strangely confining shape that would have challenged Harry Houdini.
You would think for such an important item – it is estimated we spend up to one third of our lives in bed – that I might have taken an active role in the search and purchase.
Nope. With the exception of requiring the bed to be “high and soft”, I left the decision to my family.
Maybe they thought I was lazy, but I knew that if it was their choice the bed would serve me for life.
I am the same when it comes to my oud collection. I always ask my mum to purchase whatever scent she likes for my flat. She would explain the decision should be ultimately down to my nose, but I would tell her that it’s more a heart thing. If I purchase it, it’s just a soapy scent from the market. If she does, it would remind me of her and my family home in Australia, and I would immediately feel better.
____________
Read more from Saeed:
A thank you to Tiffany Haddish from an Eritrean
The story behind a signature: One UAE resident’s tale is a sign of the times
Spring in the UAE: A time filled with regret and guilt
Abu Dhabi street cricket evokes a deluge of memories
____________
This explains why I have never been unhappy with my flat's lack of styling: it serves a higher purpose. Whenever I would get struck down with the expat blues – that gnawing feeling that life is passing me by – I would look at the jagged cup my former colleague Sara gave me before returning to New York, or I would touch that thank you card my friend Kerri made me before heading off on her next adventure and the books signed by all the authors that I have interviewed over the years.
These objects tell me that I am loved, my work is appreciated and that this whole Abu Dhabi experiment has been a success.
“You are not the only one,” Suresh told me outside the front door. “I have been doing this for nearly 18 years and I do see people acting very sad, like someone has died, or acting very nervous.
“We have moved pianos, big chandeliers and living rooms and we never had problems, but we know the small items cause the most tension. It is always the little things that people care about the most.”
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
'My Son'
Director: Christian Carion
Starring: James McAvoy, Claire Foy, Tom Cullen, Gary Lewis
Rating: 2/5
APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)
Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits
Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine
Storage: 128/256/512GB
Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4
Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps
Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID
Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight
In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter
Price: From Dh2,099
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