Should parents control their teenagers' use of social media?

From app features to self-regulation, experts explain the monitoring options available and how difficult it can be to strike the right balance

TikTok is one of the most used social media platforms in the UAE. Photo: Aaron Weiss / Unsplash

Raising children in the age of social media remains an important topic in parenting circles. While popular platforms such as TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram provide avenues for connection, entertainment and education, they can also be a minefield of inappropriate content, cyber bullying and privacy concerns.

Parents, therefore, have found themselves navigating what can be a complex social media landscape, seeking to balance their children’s digital freedom with their safety and well-being.

With the minimum age requirement to create social media accounts set at 13 years old on many platforms, questions about how much parental control to exercise become profound.

According to Dr Wafa Saoud, a child specialist and clinical psychologist at Sage Clinics in Dubai, parental supervision is “important during adolescence”.

“Adolescents are generally more open to taking risks, as they naturally explore and learn about the world,” she tells The National. Saoud explains how parental monitoring may help minimise risks by teaching children about the potential dangers of social media.

Bushra Khan, an emotional well-being coach at Wellth, adds: “Parents should discuss their concerns and the reasons for monitoring, creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding.”

An open conversation, she explains, provides opportunities for parents to educate teenagers about digital citizenship, privacy and responsible social media use.

Parental control features

Social media platforms are aware of the potential dangers for young users. TikTok, for example, has created several tools for parents to better monitor and control their children's digital presence.

“We know that you, as caregivers, want to help your teenagers learn about digital safety so they can manage their online presence, both now and as they grow into adulthood,” says the platform.

On Instagram, parents can also link their children's accounts to theirs and control everything from their exposure to certain content, plus their interaction with other users and screen time.

These features constantly evolve, as platforms are also aware that online behaviour and social media use can be hard to police sometimes.

Earlier this year, for example, the Meta-owned platform announced a feature where teenage-held accounts can't receive direct messages from anyone they don't follow or aren't connected to by default. TikTok also has similar mechanics for accounts held by users aged 13 to 15, wherein they can't send or receive direct messages at all.

On its website, Instagram says its parental supervision tools are “intended to help facilitate offline conversations between parents and their teenagers, as they navigate their online lives together and decide what’s best for them and their family”.

The dangers of 'over surveillance'

But excessive surveillance can erode trust between parents and teenagers, according to Khan.

“It can may make teenagers feel that their privacy is being invaded, leading to resentment and secrecy,” she says. There's also the risk of increased anxiety and stress among teenagers who may feel “constantly judged” because of draconian monitoring tactics.

It's important for teenagers to have a space to develop autonomy and self-regulation, Khan adds. “Over surveillance can hinder this development, making it harder for them to learn how to manage online interactions independently.”

Salman Kareem, a specialist psychiatrist at Aster Royal Clinic Downtown, says the concept of control can be subjective between families and cultures. What's important, he adds, is that teenagers are “gradually taught independence and decision-making”.

Saoud recommends a scaffolded approach when teaching teenagers how to use social media.

“For example, parents can start by setting rules around the type of content that teenagers follow and post, and the amount of use permitted a day,” she says.

“I also encourage parents to curiously sit with their teenagers when they first start to use social media,” explains Saoud, adding how parents should gradually reduce supervision as teenagers exhibit responsible behaviour online.

Ultimately, Khan says that parental surveillance should be “balanced with the teen's need for autonomy and privacy. Effective communication, clear guidelines and respect for the teen's individuality are key to ensuring that parental control is both effective and acceptable.”