Poised, polished and appropriate - all words to describe this summer's latest trend. Not the most exciting, of course, but then again neither are the Middletons. But before you write the look off as uninspired or unobtainable, take a minute to think things over.
Think for a moment of a world free of unsuitable high heels and uncomfortable strapless bras. Think of a world free from Spanx, spray tans, neurotic layering and the general everyday slog. Instead think of a risk-free life, a self-assured one of composure and dignity of manner. Think about long walks in the park without the fixture of a permanent grimace. Think about ease and finesse, of stolen glances with a romantic stranger across afternoon tea. Which, come to think of it, sounds like an altogether rather appealing version of life.
So how do we achieve this? Well, for a start, poise is not so much a style as it is an art, and despite what the punters may say it's one that can, in fact, be learnt. The number one rule is modesty. It may be obvious but hemlines shouldn't rise above the knee and décolletage must be kept well under wraps.
When it comes to footwear think the unthinkable - practicality. Poise doesn't wobble or flounder or throb. Platforms are out (too risqué) as are straps as thin as dental floss (too sultry). Instead opt for a midlevel heel with a built-in platform.
Stick to heavier fabrics that keep their shape. A good test is to roll your dress, jacket or trousers into a ball and hold it tightly for a minute or two. A garment that will hold its shape should not wrinkle on unravelling.
If you are going to invest, choose a well-fitted jacket as this will be a key note to work around. Another trick is to go with one "flash" item; a smart YSL tote bag sets the mood for the rest of your look, even if you picked it up in the discount basket at Marks & Spencer.
It's also important not to appear too severe - one sharply tailored garment per look should be enough. Not everything has to be high end - the key is to mix and match. Look to midlevel brands such as Jigsaw and Reiss for cut and quality. No one apart from you will know the huge topaz rock on your finger is made of glass.
Hair and make-up should be neat and unassuming, and accessories should be kept simple. You want to look like someone who cares enough about your appearance to look good - but not so much that you are superficial.
As I said, this isn't quite what dreams are made of - not exactly a fashion moment. Which perhaps is the point. It's a brave (and I predict extremely short) attempt at anti-fashion. So enjoy it while it lasts.
M-ometer
This week's highs and lows
INES'S LITTLE DIARIES We love watching this muse's videos on www.rogervivier.com.
BRIDAL OVERLOAD Now it's the model Anja Rubik who needs a custom-made Emilio Pucci dress. Yawn.
A/W 2011 COUTURE SHOWS Fresh off the catwalk, our fave couturier, Alexis Mabille,wows us again.
IN THE PINK Why is the designer Chris Benz sporting neon pink hair?
NAOMI FOR GIVENCHY The ever-dramatic supermodel rocks the new Givenchy ad campaign.
How to become a Boglehead
Bogleheads follow simple investing philosophies to build their wealth and live better lives. Just follow these steps.
• Spend less than you earn and save the rest. You can do this by earning more, or being frugal. Better still, do both.
• Invest early, invest often. It takes time to grow your wealth on the stock market. The sooner you begin, the better.
• Choose the right level of risk. Don't gamble by investing in get-rich-quick schemes or high-risk plays. Don't play it too safe, either, by leaving long-term savings in cash.
• Diversify. Do not keep all your eggs in one basket. Spread your money between different companies, sectors, markets and asset classes such as bonds and property.
• Keep charges low. The biggest drag on investment performance is all the charges you pay to advisers and active fund managers.
• Keep it simple. Complexity is your enemy. You can build a balanced, diversified portfolio with just a handful of ETFs.
• Forget timing the market. Nobody knows where share prices will go next, so don't try to second-guess them.
• Stick with it. Do not sell up in a market crash. Use the opportunity to invest more at the lower price.
BORDERLANDS
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis
Director: Eli Roth
Rating: 0/5
Greatest of All Time
Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
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The 24-man squad:
Goalkeepers: Thibaut Courtois (Chelsea), Simon Mignolet (Liverpool), Koen Casteels (VfL Wolfsburg).
Defenders: Toby Alderweireld (Tottenham), Thomas Meunier (Paris Saint-Germain), Thomas Vermaelen (Barcelona), Jan Vertonghen (Tottenham), Dedryck Boyata (Celtic), Vincent Kompany (Manchester City).
Midfielders: Marouane Fellaini (Manchester United), Axel Witsel (Tianjin Quanjian), Kevin De Bruyne (Manchester City), Eden Hazard (Chelsea), Nacer Chadli (West Bromwich Albion), Leander Dendoncker (Anderlecht), Thorgan Hazard (Borussia Moenchengladbach), Youri Tielemans (Monaco), Mousa Dembele (Tottenham Hotspur).
Forwards: Michy Batshuayi (Chelsea/Dortmund), Yannick Carrasco (Dalian Yifang), Adnan Januzaj (Real Sociedad), Romelu Lukaku (Manchester United), Dries Mertens (Napoli).
Standby player: Laurent Ciman (Los Angeles FC).
Donating your hair
• Your hair should be least 30 cms long, as some of the hair is lost during manufacturing of the wigs.
• Clean, dry hair in good condition (no split ends) from any gender, and of any natural colour, is required.
• Straight, wavy, curly, permed or chemically straightened is permitted.
• Dyed hair must be of a natural colour
The specs
Engine: Long-range single or dual motor with 200kW or 400kW battery
Transmission: Single-speed automatic
Max touring range: 620km / 590km
Price: From Dh250,000 (estimated)
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BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE
Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega
Director: Tim Burton
Rating: 3/5
Jawan
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'Champions'
Director: Manuel Calvo
Stars: Yassir Al Saggaf and Fatima Al Banawi
Rating: 2/5
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Klopp at the Kop
Matches 68; Wins 35; Draws 19; Losses 14; Goals For 133; Goals Against 82
- Eighth place in Premier League in 2015/16
- Runners-up in Europa League in 2016
- Runners-up in League Cup in 2016
- Fourth place in Premier League in 2016/17
RESULTS
Bantamweight: Jalal Al Daaja (JOR) beat Hamza Bougamza (MAR)
Catchweight 67kg: Mohamed El Mesbahi (MAR) beat Fouad Mesdari (ALG)
Lightweight: Abdullah Mohammed Ali (UAE) beat Abdelhak Amhidra (MAR)
Catchweight 73kg: Mosatafa Ibrahim Radi (PAL) beat Yazid Chouchane (ALG)
Middleweight: Yousri Belgaroui (TUN) beat Badreddine Diani (MAR)
Catchweight 78KG: Rashed Dawood (UAE) beat Adnan Bushashy (ALG)
Middleweight: Sallah-Eddine Dekhissi (MAR) beat Abdel Enam (EGY)
Catchweight 65kg: Yanis Ghemmouri (ALG) beat Rachid Hazoume (MAR)
Lightweight: Mohammed Yahya (UAE) beat Azouz Anwar (EGY)
Catchweight 79kg: Souhil Tahiri (ALG) beat Omar Hussein (PAL)
Middleweight: Tarek Suleiman (SYR) beat Laid Zerhouni (ALG)