Liverpool fans were right to mourn the loss of an important player this week - a legendary red who provided them with fantastic entertainment whenever he stepped onto the Anfield pitch.
Unfortunately, they were weeping over the wrong guy.
Never mind Fernando Torres going to Chelsea. Foreign mercenaries can always be replaced, and Luis Suarez already looks like a decent replacement (although his crowning by some as the next Kevin Keegan, by virtue of scoring against the mighty Stoke City, seems a trifle premature).
No, the man they should be crying over is a certain Gary Neville, the Manchester United stalwart who quietly announced his retirement from football the day after Torres had departed for Chelsea.
Most Liverpool fans were too busy sweeping up the ashes of their Torres shirts to even pass comment on the departure of the man who famously told a Manchester United fan magazine: "I can't stand Liverpool. I can't stand Liverpool people. I can't stand anything to do with them."
But they will miss him like crazy.
Neville was a lightning rod for the fury of the Kop because he was the physical embodiment of not just Manchester United, but a 200-year-old feud which has simmered between the two great cities of north-west England.
To them, Neville was a beetle-browed hill savage who should be toiling away, unseen, in a sweaty cotton mill.
To Neville, Scousers were swaggering dandies unfamiliar with the concept of a day's hard graft. He was that rarest thing in professional football: a player who understood what the fuss was all about.
That is why he bothered to sprint 60 yards to goad Liverpool fans after a late winner once by Rio Ferdinand - an action for which he was fined £5,000 (Dh29,500) by the English Football Association.
That is why the Liverpudlian builders who constructed his home swimming pool bothered to hide a stash of Liverpool memorabilia beneath the tiles.
Would they have bothered to do the same thing under Park Ji-sung's swimming pool?
Of course not, because he would not care. Who will take over from Neville as the Manc the Kop loves to hate? Can it really be as much fun to bellow abuse at some kid from Guadalajara?
The other Mancunians on the team - Paul Scholes, Ryan Giggs, Wes Brown - are too shy to play the pantomime villain role. Nor are they likely to be at Old Trafford for much longer, for reasons of age.
Liverpool, too, could soon face a similar dearth of local heroes. Yes, they have Jamie Carragher and Steven Gerrard, for now. But then what? Perhaps this is why they paid the ludicrous sum of £35 million (Dh 206.7m) for Andy Carroll, a non-local Englishman who is already undergoing a subtle rebranding process.
"Liverpool and Newcastle are very similar," said Kenny Dalglish, the Liverpool manager, his fist clutched tightly around some straws. "The history of the places themselves, the shipyards, the people, the fanaticism towards their football clubs."
Ladies and gentlemen of the Kop, allow me to present your new local hero, Andy Carroll: he may not be steeped in Liverpool history, but his granddad probably knew how to rivet a ship as well as yours did.
As for Gary Neville, let's hope he remains in the game in some capacity, preferably as a ludicrously partisan television pundit.
He is too precious a resource to simply disappear into his luxury home. He cannot even use his swimming pool.
Thorpe’s comeback for London 2012 will make swimming interesting again
I normally greet the news of a sporting comeback with a regretful sigh. When Michael Schumacher returned to Formula One, it was hard to predict anything but a damp squib. And so it turned out.
But when Ian Thorpe confirmed he would attempt to qualify for the 2012 Olympics, I let out a small whoop of joy. Suddenly, swimming was interesting again.
Thorpe versus Michael Phelps will be among the most mouth-watering battles of the Games. The Thorpedo versus the Baltimore Bullet. (On nicknames alone, Thorpe wins already. Who fires a bullet underwater?)
Phelps’s great achievement of eight gold medals at Beijing was tarnished, through no fault of his own, by Thorpe having retired in 2006, aged 24, due to injury and a lack of fire in his belly. But the upside of retiring so young is that he is 28 now and will be just 29 during the Games; still physically strong and, mentally, far stronger than the quiet kid who was first thrust into the national spotlight at 14.
He trained at eight different pools to avoid news of a comeback leaking out. That is why his decision to train in Abu Dhabi, away from the inevitable media circus in Australia, is a wise one.
Roll on London 2012. There will be water in that Aquatic Centre, but not a damp squib in sight.
sports@thenational.ae
Straightforward ways to reduce sugar in your family's diet
- Ban fruit juice and sodas
- Eat a hearty breakfast that contains fats and wholegrains, such as peanut butter on multigrain toast or full-fat plain yoghurt with whole fruit and nuts, to avoid the need for a 10am snack
- Give young children plain yoghurt with whole fruits mashed into it
- Reduce the number of cakes, biscuits and sweets. Reserve them for a treat
- Don’t eat dessert every day
- Make your own smoothies. Always use the whole fruit to maintain the benefit of its fibre content and don’t add any sweeteners
- Always go for natural whole foods over processed, packaged foods. Ask yourself would your grandmother have eaten it?
- Read food labels if you really do feel the need to buy processed food
- Eat everything in moderation
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Jawan
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Electric scooters: some rules to remember
- Riders must be 14-years-old or over
- Wear a protective helmet
- Park the electric scooter in designated parking lots (if any)
- Do not leave electric scooter in locations that obstruct traffic or pedestrians
- Solo riders only, no passengers allowed
- Do not drive outside designated lanes
MEDIEVIL%20(1998)
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Fixtures:
Thursday:
Hatta v Al Jazira, 4.55pm
Al Wasl v Dibba, 7.45pm
Friday:
Al Dhafra v Al Nasr, 5.05pm
Shabab Al Ahli Dubai v Al Wahda, 7.45pm
Saturday:
Ajman v Emirates, 4.55pm
Al Ain v Sharjah, 7.45pm
SPEC%20SHEET%3A%20SAMSUNG%20GALAXY%20Z%20FOLD5
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The Perfect Couple
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor
Creator: Jenna Lamia
Rating: 3/5
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Men's football draw
Group A: UAE, Spain, South Africa, Jamaica
Group B: Bangladesh, Serbia, Korea
Group C: Bharat, Denmark, Kenya, USA
Group D: Oman, Austria, Rwanda
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
Bahrain%20GP
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Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE
Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega
Director: Tim Burton
Rating: 3/5
How Islam's view of posthumous transplant surgery changed
Transplants from the deceased have been carried out in hospitals across the globe for decades, but in some countries in the Middle East, including the UAE, the practise was banned until relatively recently.
Opinion has been divided as to whether organ donations from a deceased person is permissible in Islam.
The body is viewed as sacred, during and after death, thus prohibiting cremation and tattoos.
One school of thought viewed the removal of organs after death as equally impermissible.
That view has largely changed, and among scholars and indeed many in society, to be seen as permissible to save another life.
The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre twin-turbo flat-six
Power: 480hp at 6,500rpm
Torque: 570Nm from 2,300-5,000rpm
Transmission: 8-speed dual-clutch auto
Fuel consumption: 10.4L/100km
Price: from Dh547,600
On sale: now