Your ultimate goal: a fulfilled retirement

Why giving up your time for others could be the new style of retirement.

Gary Clement for The National

She left her husband. Her life. Left everything behind.
It was a decision born of wanting more by getting less. A quest shared by an increasing number of those I know - although it is to be noted it is only women in my circle who do this.
She is an osteopath who swapped her Dubai dream to treat former child soldiers in Africa. She is very happy. Her then husband less so.
Last week, a physiotherapist I know told me something similar. Just back from her first ever skiing holiday with her youngest child - a teenager with three more years of schooling left, she was telling me she'd enjoyed it thoroughly and is glad she did it. It was worth her splashing out for the experience. She is, and needs to be, frugal. Her responsibilities as a single parent to three have meant that she has managed her finances very carefully over the years. And she has a plan.
Her plan, once her son is no longer dependent, is to treat people in eastern Europe - for only the cost of her sustenance.
Another female friend - once she is free of familial obligations - will be helping out at an orphanage that a mutual friend is set to build.
These are not Mother Teresa types. They have each enjoyed what city life and capitalism has to offer. They have decided that it is not enough, that they must be contributing, hands-on - affecting people in a very immediate way.
The upside of where they are headed not costing a bomb is factored in and a definite plus.
More power to them I say. Plus they have deftly nailed an issue that many of us struggle with: how will I afford to live for the rest of my life? We are talking traditional retirement phase.
They will be earning - if not in money, then in kind - and I would venture that they'd be looked after by many when they are in need.
Our old age, and the cost of living through it, is an increasingly urgent issue. Especially if we do live longer than previous generations, and most specifically if we haven't built up a sizeable chunk of savings.
Assuming we are healthy, retirement is often viewed as an indulgent "you deserve it" era. Who wouldn't want to live in the lap of luxury as the ads say.
Articles about the "best" place to retire wax lyrical about sun, sand, golf and crucially, the word "affordable". Whatever that means. A place providing all of the above is where we should consider.
How many people do you know who've got their eye on Asia, bits of Europe like Portugal, and say parts of Latin America. These places come up often.
But how about fulfilment, sense of purpose, community, connecting and being valued? And I do not mean by fellow expats who haven't much to do but putt and potter.
Having a sense of purpose adds years to life, according to studies.
Deciding where to head is very serious. The osteopath went many times to her African destination - taking increasingly longer stints away - finding out what she was getting herself into before making the final decision.
She was able to take months off at a time to do this. Not everyone is so fortunate.
But if it is something that you want, start by spending holidays - weeks - embedding yourself in the place and situation you believe is your calling.
If you don't have a hands-on skill like osteopathy or physiotherapy, you can contribute in so many other ways - like teaching, whatever it is you know - English, maths, art, admin, how to read and write.
The list is endless.
One of the biggest upheavals is leaving people behind. But if your friends are of like mind, maybe they could join you. Or create a visit rota. There's always a way.
You are already doing the expat thing, so my guess is that you're OK living in various parts of the world. Perhaps it is time to stop fretting only about monetary affordability, and look at how each day will play out - for the rest of your life. I know many who have retired to dream destinations - only to return to the UAE frustrated, bored and a bit more broke than when they left.
Sometimes we get distracted with whether we can afford to do something - instead of figuring out whether it's worth doing in the first place.
Today's message is just one more way of looking at life: live large - on very little.
Nima Abu Wardeh describes herself using three words: Person. Parent. Pupil. Each day she works out which one gets priority, sharing her journey on finding-nima.com.
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