Sally Dunlop, an Australian, was a playout director for the BBC in London when she discovered she was pregnant in 2010. Her British husband, Neil Tucker, was an engineer for Sky TV, making managing the childcare around their busy schedules a struggle.
“I did crazy hours in quite a stressful job,” says Ms Dunlop, 40. “When Mia was born, Neil and I both had early shifts starting at 7am, but there was no nursery open before then. We had to do a lot of shift-swapping and taking annual leave to be there for her.”
So when Mr Tucker was offered a job in Abu Dhabi working for Sky News Arabia, Sally decided to quit her Dh250,000 a year job to move to the UAE with Neil and be a full-time mum to Mia.
The couple now rent out their Dh2.3 million house in Twickenham, and a Dh1.7m one-bedroom flat Ms Dunlop owns in Chiswick.
But Ms Dunlop admits their initial hopes of saving cash each month on Neil’s Dh33,000 a month salary didn’t work out as planned.
“I think the reality of most expats here is that unless you’ve already got money behind you, the first year or so is just a case of getting on your feet financially; setting up house, buying a car, and paying your rent in advance.”
Finding out you’re pregnant is a metamorphic moment in a woman’s life. The next decision is what defines you for the foreseeable future; whether to be a career mum or a stay-at-home mum? Do you continue your career path while devoting evenings to the new arrival, or do you put your worklife on hold to spend more time bonding with baby?
For many mums, the 45 days of paid maternity leave (plus 100 days sick leave if required) offered by law don’t seem enough. But with husbands sometimes earning heftier salaries than they would back home, it can provide new mums with the financial flexibility to take a longer-term break.
Maria Brown, senior wealth manager for PIC (Professional Investment Consultants), recommends sitting down with your partner and working out the cost implications of having a child.
“Ask yourself if you can really afford to live on just one income,” she says. “What’s the actual cost of living here? How will your costs increase when you have a family? Have you saved enough? What about your pension? So many questions go unanswered, and as a result many women do not think about the financial impact on their savings and pension provisions.”
When Ms Dunlop’s daughter Mia turned three, she decided she was ready to return to earn again.
However, she didn’t want to return to a fast-paced working culture, so opted instead for a job in the visa section of an embassy, working 7.30am until 2.30pm each day.
Ms Brown says the decision whether to return to work full time or part time should be considered even before you embark upon your career break. “And think about the extras you might have to pay for when you do return to work – an additional car, a maid or a nursery for example,” she adds.
Before starting her Dh12,700 a month position in March, Ms Dunlop hired a maid, costing the family Dh6,500 for the visa, plus a monthly live-out salary of Dh2,600 a month.
“I hadn’t ever done an office job before so I also had to buy a whole new work wardrobe for Dh3,000,” says Ms Dunlop, adding that she decided to continue sharing the family car rather than buy another, and often catches the Dh2 bus home to their Dh110,000 two-bedroom flat on the Corniche. She also pays Dh500 a month in taxis for the maid to drop Mia at nursery three times a week.
“Since I started working, we’ve now been able to save my salary and live off Neil’s. We’re hoping to pay some of our mortgage off,” says Ms Dunlop. “I’ve also treated myself to the occasional shopping trip. Before I was working, I felt too guilty to go shopping because I felt like it was Neil’s money. I don’t have any of that guilt any more.”
During Ms Dunlop’s career break, she was able to fill the gap in her CV by volunteering for 18 months as a coordinator for St Andrews Playgroup in Al Mushrif, which involved organising staffing over summer, Christmas party preparation and planning children’s games.
“I learnt new skills such as event management, and gained experience working with children,” adds Ms Dunlop.
Susan Castle, career coach and founder of Dubai-based Outwiththedots, says while employers looking to hire want to know that all the necessary professional skills are up to date, they also want to know you will be a useful and productive member of their team: “While it might be quite a simple matter to do a quick refresher course on your professional skills, it might be a bit harder to justify the big gap in your experience.
“If you’re feeling you’ve been out of the workplace too long, volunteering can be a greater way to get back in the saddle. You can also ask your fellow volunteers for references – helpful if you’ve been out of the corporate world for a long time.”
Texan Maggie Jackson, 36, volunteered during her career break at her children’s school in Abu Dhabi, and was later offered a job there as a teaching assistant.
Her decision to take a break from full-time work was triggered by the devastating earthquakes in Christchurch, New Zealand in 2011, where she was living at the time with her husband Oliver and two children – Oskar, now seven and Lola, four.
“If we’d been home at the time the earthquake had hit, I don’t know what would have happened to the kids. Huge daggers of glass were stuck into our playroom,” says Mrs Jackson, a sales manager at the time.
Mrs Jackson’s husband was offered a job as executive sous chef at Jumeirah at Etihad Towers in Abu Dhabi shortly after the earthquake.
“If we hadn’t gone through that experience, we might have had different viewpoints on what was really important and I might have gone straight to work as soon as we arrived here,” she says. “Oliver works ridiculous hours; if something important comes up, he has to be there. That’s just the nature of being a hospitality employee. But it means with the kids still so young, I didn’t want to sign up to a job.”
However, the Jackson family arrived in the UAE with Dh60,000 of credit card debt, having just invested in a business in New Zealand. They’ve spent the past three years tightening their pockets to pay it all back.
“We had to make concessions. We couldn’t do everything that people do here – the expensive Friday brunches, the concerts, the designer clothes. Sometimes you have to take a step back and remember the bigger picture.”
Nine months ago, Mrs Jackson started a Dh4,500 a month job as a teaching assistant at her children’s school, Pearl Primary, off Defence Road. Before starting, she paid Dh2,500 to have her high-school diploma stamped, and about Dh4,500 on new work clothes.
“It doesn’t pay well, but actually on top of my salary we’re now saving an extra Dh3,500 a month. That’s what I was spending on having lunch with friends and going to the gym, which I don’t have time for now.
“The hours are good, and I get school holidays off with the kids. But will I be there forever? I’m not sure. I do have moments when I think ‘I could earn more doing something else.’”
Czech mum of two Darcy Vasickova, a former market researcher who lives in Karama, Abu Dhabi, took a five-year career break to raise Milo, aged five and Sasha, three, before she decided to set up a luxury linen company last year, Lofty Linen.
“I felt an underlying drive to be more independent and not just reliant on one income,” she says. “Also it’s about doing something you enjoy that’s not just about the children – as they grow bigger, there’s more spare time, so you need to decide how to fill it.”
Ms Vasickova, 38, has spent about Dh20,000 so far on her supplies and branding since she first ordered her fabrics from Belgium and Belarus a year ago, and has so far made back about a third of the initial investment.
“At the moment, everything I make I put back into the business. When I start making a profit, it won’t go into savings, as that’s more my husband’s domain – I would probably spend the money on the children. Or on the expenses we have for our house in the Czech Republic.”
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