Today is the perfect day to lie back and think of England



"I can't help thinking this wedding was arranged to give a bit of glamour to a recession-riddled country, much as that of Charles and Diana did in the gloomy early '80s." Thus speculated a comment on The Guardian website this week.

I don't often agree with much that I read in that newspaper, apart from the fragrant Marina Hyde, but there are often some nuggets to be found from its hirsute readers.

I remember the 1981 royal wedding well. For some reason my invitation for a front-row seat in St Paul's Cathedral was mysteriously mislaid, so instead I took myself to Hastings.

I had just left school and was enjoying a life of leisure, but had somehow found myself teaching English to a group of foreign students. In fact, it was my introduction to people from the Middle East. I was charmed by their ways, particularly their ability to put away endless bottles of Coke and tubes of Smarties.

We caught a bus to Hastings, and padded around the streets. Hastings is on the south coast of Sussex. Once a rather pleasant spot for taking the sea air and strolling on the shingle, it had become a drug-riddled town, full of dossers.

Instead of the One in Ten, the subject of a song by UB40, signifying the one in 10 that were unemployed, in Hastings it was more like the Nine in Ten. Nobody had a job. Many of the shops were boarded up, and those that weren't sold either cheap goods or beer and cigarettes.

But the royal wedding had brought out the best in people. There were street parties, union flags flapping in the wind and a genuine feeling of bonhomie. It was July 29.

Earlier that month, more than 1,000 people had stormed the police station at Moss Side in Manchester. A policeman was hit with a bolt from a crossbow. The riot lasted more than three days and nights.

But three weeks later, the sun shone. Not only that, but the economy started to pick up within days of Charles and Diana embarking on their holiday on the Royal Yacht Britannia. The great people of Britain put down their crossbows and became property speculators.

A similar thing happened in 1947 when Queen Elizabeth II married Prince Philip. Britain had been at war, there was rationing, recession and general gloom. After a few days the economy picked up, even if rationing continued for a while longer. Yes, only the royal family can keep Britain out of recession.

Labour ministers, even the prudent Gordon Brown, might do their best to steer it into bankruptcy, but it's amazing how a wedding can gloss over a beleaguered balance sheet.

This time around you have to hand it to the royal couple. It is not as if they raced into marriage. Like his father, William tried to wriggle away from taking a bride, until he realised it was his duty to help revive the British economy.

Even if it rains today in London, the hotels are full of tourists. The street parties are prepared, even if they will take place under awnings and umbrellas. Some 2 billion people around the world are expected to tune in to the display of pomp and lack of circumstance.

The French will watch and weep. If only they hadn't topped their own aristos, they could have found their way out of recession, rather than being stuck with a sclerotic economy.

Imagine Versailles packed to the rafters with a glittering cast of thousands. Alas, one stroke of the guillotine has condemned the French to perpetual despondency. Who celebrated when Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni married, apart from her old boyfriends?

"A clever touch of bread and circuses," concluded the reader on The Guardian website of the royal wedding. He may be right.

But what did that austere republican Cromwell ever do for the British economy? He invaded Ireland, which may have provided plentiful provisions of peat, but precious little else.

Astute economic forecasters should be recommending that their clients buy bonds, shares, even British property, in fact anything they can get their hands on in the UK. Of course the boom won't last forever, but a mini Middleton/Windsor heir will race to the rescue in about 30 years' time.

It's good to know that even in this day and age some people are prepared to lie back and think of England.

COMPANY%20PROFILE
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ECompany%20name%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Revibe%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EStarted%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%202022%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFounders%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Hamza%20Iraqui%20and%20Abdessamad%20Ben%20Zakour%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EBased%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20UAE%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EIndustry%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Refurbished%20electronics%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EFunds%20raised%20so%20far%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20%2410m%20%0D%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EInvestors%3A%20%3C%2Fstrong%3EFlat6Labs%2C%20Resonance%20and%20various%20others%0D%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Paatal Lok season two

Directors: Avinash Arun, Prosit Roy 

Stars: Jaideep Ahlawat, Ishwak Singh, Lc Sekhose, Merenla Imsong

Rating: 4.5/5

If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.

When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.

How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
German intelligence warnings
  • 2002: "Hezbollah supporters feared becoming a target of security services because of the effects of [9/11] ... discussions on Hezbollah policy moved from mosques into smaller circles in private homes." Supporters in Germany: 800
  • 2013: "Financial and logistical support from Germany for Hezbollah in Lebanon supports the armed struggle against Israel ... Hezbollah supporters in Germany hold back from actions that would gain publicity." Supporters in Germany: 950
  • 2023: "It must be reckoned with that Hezbollah will continue to plan terrorist actions outside the Middle East against Israel or Israeli interests." Supporters in Germany: 1,250 

Source: Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: ARDH Collective
Based: Dubai
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Sector: Sustainability
Total funding: Self funded
Number of employees: 4
The biog

Name: Younis Al Balooshi

Nationality: Emirati

Education: Doctorate degree in forensic medicine at the University of Bonn

Hobbies: Drawing and reading books about graphic design

APPLE IPAD MINI (A17 PRO)

Display: 21cm Liquid Retina Display, 2266 x 1488, 326ppi, 500 nits

Chip: Apple A17 Pro, 6-core CPU, 5-core GPU, 16-core Neural Engine

Storage: 128/256/512GB

Main camera: 12MP wide, f/1.8, digital zoom up to 5x, Smart HDR 4

Front camera: 12MP ultra-wide, f/2.4, Smart HDR 4, full-HD @ 25/30/60fps

Biometrics: Touch ID, Face ID

Colours: Blue, purple, space grey, starlight

In the box: iPad mini, USB-C cable, 20W USB-C power adapter

Price: From Dh2,099

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding