We have a crisis at work and I have been asked to cancel my holiday. The company is going through a restructure and as a team leader I’ve been asked to be present during the process. But this holiday was booked 10 months ago and is a dream trip to Peru to celebrate my 20th wedding anniversary. Do I stay or go? GH, Abu Dhabi
We often have to make tough choices between our home life and our career, but once in a while we are faced with a truly critical decision that puts the two at loggerheads. The time has come for you to think about making one of these critical decisions.
I reread the question several times and even went for a walk to think about it further. For some reason I deeply resonate with your dilemma and it has left me feeling torn. Part of me would like to tell you to stuff work, take the holiday and let others solve the crisis, but I know from my own experience that it is not so easy. There are so many competing priorities, emotions and lots of people you care about involved.
I am taking a slightly different approach in my response this week and will provide you with my thoughts on both sides of the argument before proposing a few steps to take.
Firstly, as the company is going through a restructure there is probably feelings of uncertainty and anxiety among the team. Those around you, especially those reporting to you, will be feeling the fear, worried about their jobs and their future. Being present during the process will show your concern for them and your willingness to lead, support and empathise. Giving up the trip could paint you as the leader who puts his team and the organisation before his own needs. It is actually quite seductive to be seen as the hero riding back from the airport in your Uber taxi to save the day.
Stay and people in the organisation could respect you deeply for your decision, especially the management. And it could be a critical career moment if the crisis is overcome.
Yet if you leave on this holiday of a lifetime, you will recharge, connect with your partner and experience something significant that you have been looking forward to. Your partner may also respect you for putting your holiday ahead of work. The crisis could continue for some time and you may be in better shape to face it when you return rested. Equally, the organisation’s future does not rest solely on your shoulders and my hope is that you are not indispensable.
You alone cannot bring the organisation through the other side, so maybe they can face this one without you.
Both choices also come with their drawbacks. If you stay, you would be showing to your partner that work comes first. Equally, you would be giving the impression to your team that important plans should always be cancelled if the company needs you. And as the rumour mill inevitably turns during times of uncertainty, people may think this was demanded by higher management – that employees have no choice and their important life experiences are not valued. Your intention to be a positive role model could actually backfire.
Similarly, leave and your management and colleagues may feel deserted during a time of crisis. You are trekking up the Andes on an adventure while the rest of the organisation is crumbling.
But let’s be proactive. Say to your management that you still wish to go on your holiday and will do everything in your power to support your team during the process before you leave and put in more energy when you return. Add that if they are not satisfied with what you have achieved before you go, then you will cancel your trip.
You will then need to lead to the maximum in the weeks and days leading up to your trip to get everyone in the best shape possible to face the challenge. Equally, you are not the organisation, so although you can help, you are not the only person responsible.
Are your colleagues willing to step up for you?
Doctor’s prescription
Should I stay or should I go? This is the title of a famous British rock song which continues with If I go there will be trouble and if I stay it will be double. Staying for the good of others may feel like the right thing to do and we all need to feel wanted. But would your very good intentions have negative effects on you, your relationship and ultimately the culture of the organisation?
Alex Davda is a business psychologist and client director at Ashridge Executive Education, Hult International Business School, and is based in the Middle East. Email him at business@thenational.ae for advice on any work issues
business@thenational.ae
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