One summit veteran’s essential primer for event etiquette

Equipped with lanyard and ready for a day of handshakes and warm greetings.

We’re back in lanyard land again, this time in Dubai for the Global Islamic Economy Summit held at the Madinat complex in Jumeirah.

Having been to three such events in the past three weeks, I think I’m in a fair position to write the definitive guide to lanyards, the essential accoutrement for any attendee at a summit, forum or other gathering of world business brain power.

Rule number one in lanyard land is this: make it easy to get. In this respect, the GIES in Dubai was better than either the World Islamic Economic Forum in London (WIEF) or the World Economic Forum in Abu Dhabi.

The line-up was non-existent and the procedure simple: hand over your ID card, smile for the camera and out pops your badge in a couple of seconds. No long electronic form-filling and passport attachment process, as in the other two venues.

Rule number two: make the printing on the lanyard big enough to see at five metres’ distance. Once again, Dubai had the edge, but by a narrower margin this time.

There were some 3,000 people at the GIES in Dubai, bigger than the other two, and in such a sea of faces long-distance recognition was essential.

You see somebody important, perhaps someone you’ve met or even interviewed before, across a crowded room; he recognises you, and you him. But for the life of you, you cannot put a name to the face.

A legible lanyard overcomes that problem instantly, allowing you to segue into an easy “Ahmed, how good to see you, how are you?” even as you rack your brains to remember the exact circumstances of your last encounter. It’s one of the essential skills of summit life.

Rule number three: make the lanyards big, heavy and obvious. In this ranking, I’m afraid to report there was little between the three. All were too light and flimsy to prevent me from forgetting that I was wearing the thing.

It’s good to be instantly recognised at the summit, of course, but not quite the same thing at the Spinneys check-out later when you realise it’s still hanging round your neck. I did wonder why so many people were taking such a close interest in my abdomen as I moved from the chilled cabinet to tinned goods.

Which I guess leads naturally into rule number four: remember to take it off as soon as you leave lanyard land. They do not respond well to shower water, and are very uncomfortable to sleep in.

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In terms of venue, the Dubai summit wins hands down. The ExCel centre in London for the WIEF was modern and efficient, but a little too bleak to make it enjoyable; the WEF in Abu Dhabi, at the Yas Marina Formula One race track was spectacular, but a little too noisy especially when the high-performance cars were getting a work-out on the circuit.

Abu Dhabi was also blighted by a sand and rain storm which WEF travellers from Geneva HQ could scarcely believe .

The Madinat, on the other hand, was perfect. Beautiful climate, the usual Jumeirah opulence and splendour, and just the right sprinkling of glamour. All these events need some glam, and it was in full show at the gala dinner on Monday evening.

One eminent guest, in an unguarded moment, summed it up perfectly: “This is why Dubai should be the capital of Islamic economy. It has the best weather, the best facilities, and the most beautiful women of all the potential venues.”

I’d fully agree with that.