Why your spending must align with your values

You could be influenced by friends, family and social media to pursue societal ideals

You could be swayed by your friends and become distracted from what is important to you. Getty Images

Do well in school. Go to university. Get a high-paying job. Get married. Start a family. Work hard to support your family and save for retirement. Retire early. Spend your retirement with your grandchildren.

This is a traditional life path. A life ladder. And it can be exciting to climb.

The problem is nobody tells you where the next rung is. This can create feelings of fear, frustration and anger, especially if you are looking for this traditional ladder leaning up against a traditional wall.

Climbing the ladder you think you are supposed to climb to get to a place you think you are supposed to go is reactive living.

You live your life according to what others have told you to do, and you react to whatever life throws at you. Living proactively takes some hard work up front but it is worth it.

Climbing the ladder

What does it mean to “climb the ladder”? It means moving ahead with your life.

That said, climbing a ladder that is leaning against the wrong wall means that you are moving ahead in your life but in a way that is not getting you to where you want to go.

Thus, you are climbing the wrong wall if you are using your money in a way that does not align with your unique personal values.

That could mean you are swayed by your neighbours, influenced by social media, feel envious of your friends or otherwise distracted from what is important to you.

The opposite of what I have called “wrong wall” spending is “right wall” spending. This means that you know where you want to climb, you have set your ladder against the appropriate wall and you are taking steps in the right direction.

In money terms, that means that every pound you spend is on something that is important to you. Every transaction supports your needs and values.

It is very difficult to align 100 per cent of your money with your values.

You may have friends or family members that value things that are different from what you value, and it is not worth your time or money to debate them.

But even if it is not probable to get 100 per cent of the way there, your focus can be on getting most of the way there.

If it was easy, everyone would do it

You might be thinking that it sounds awfully simple – maybe, too simple. You would be right.

Many very productive systems are quite simple. For example, if you want to quit smoking, the logical advice is to not smoke any more – simple! However, simple things are not always easy to do.

I want to make the case that just because it is not easy does not mean it is not worth it. Some of your greatest accomplishments were difficult. It is worth it to put in the time.

What do you want?

Now you know that simple things are not always easy, and things that are not easy can be rewarding, but you might be asking what makes it so difficult to align your use of money with what is important to you.

The answer is that you must sit down and figure it out. That is not always easy. You must be aware of what you want and articulate it. Write it down. Say it out loud.

The reward for doing it is being able to live your life intentionally in a way that you will be proud of.

Part of what makes this more difficult is that we are constantly under attack. We are under attack from marketers, retailers, advertisers, social media influencers, social media itself, friends, family, neighbours and so on.

If you mix those sources together, you will get what is known as the societal ideal. This societal ideal has many different definitions but it can be used to manipulate us into parting with our money.

Some claim the ideal is getting a good job, starting a family, buying a house and retiring early. That is the message we get.

That is why it is easy to believe that is what everyone should do. Without examining what kind of life we want, it is natural to think this is what we should want.

Spending time chasing societal ideals or anyone else's dream not only wastes your time, but it also puts you at a disadvantage because it is going to be far more difficult going forward to where you want to go.

Climb the right ladder

It is tempting to hurry up and start climbing the ladder without taking the time to figure out where it leads.

It pays to spend some time to determine what is important to you and how to align your use of money with that.

It takes some time but it is worth it and will provide you with happiness and meaning.

Sam Instone is co-chief executive of wealth management company AES