I once wrote that there were four words that would keep me in the UAE: no tax, valet parking.
Now, after a couple of weeks in sweltering London, I have to add another two: air conditioning.
The British capital has been gripped by what some of the tabloids are calling "the summer of death".
Warm, sunny days, with temperatures in the low 30s, are said by the red-top newspapers to be responsible for more than 700 deaths over the past fortnight. Hysterical nonsense.
Roads are melting in the heat, wildfires are breaking out in the countryside and products like fans, sun cream and men's shorts are hard to find.
It's a peculiarly British type of crisis.
When I tell people I live in Dubai and that the temperature in the summer regularly tops 40 degrees, they give me a look of pity.
"How can you bear it? Still, at least this must be OK for you then. You're probably glad of the cold weather," they laugh.
The truth is that I'm not taking it at all well, because London is not geared up to take even moderately hot weather.
Air conditioning is an exception virtually everywhere. Give me 40°with AC, rather than 30° without it, any time.
As I write this in a Starbucks near Blackfriars, the air temperature is 34°, but the only cooling in the whole shop is a tiny air fan, maybe 10 inches across, clearly fighting a losing battle.
The poor baristas look on the verge of mutiny at the conditions, and I wouldn't blame them for shutting up shop and walking out in protest.
***
I'm a student again, at least for a while. My temporary accommodation in London is my daughter's student residence, and my neighbours are mainly foreign students doing summer courses in London. And what lovely people they are. Maybe it's because they're not from the UK, or maybe times have changed completely, but I'm sure when I was at university, some time back in the medieval era, students were a lot less polite, and much more noisy and boisterous.
I sit on the balcony after dinner listening to the sound of the city, and there is barely a peep from the apartments to my right and left.
The only noise comes from a crowd of youngsters in the street below (British, of course) coming home from a night out.
I have a chat with my next-door neighbour, a Turkish Cypriot studying marketing at Kings College. After discussing the situation in Turkey, Syria and the Kurds, we get around to talking about London.
He's had a good time as a student in the capital, but wants to get back to Cyprus.
"I don't really like English people, they are too noisy," he says, apologising to me immediately for the minor slight on my perceived nationality. No offence taken. I think I largely agree with him.
***
I used to hate Canary Wharf when I worked there 10 years ago.
Then, London's new financial district built on the moribund docklands to the east was a soul-less construction site, devoid of facilities or any fun.
A trip eastwards last week to meet some banking contacts changed my mind completely.
The place is now absolutely buzzing, with shops, restaurants and all you would wish for in a working environment.
It is obviously a great success, and I was wrong back then, I concluded as I watched the Thames slip by on my return trip westwards on a new Thames Clipper boat.
fkane@thenational.ae
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
Started: 2020
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
Based: Dubai, UAE
Sector: Entertainment
Number of staff: 210
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
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Nayanthara: Beyond The Fairy Tale
Starring: Nayanthara, Vignesh Shivan, Radhika Sarathkumar, Nagarjuna Akkineni
Director: Amith Krishnan
Rating: 3.5/5
Disclaimer
Director: Alfonso Cuaron
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Kline, Lesley Manville
Rating: 4/5
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If you go
Where to stay: Courtyard by Marriott Titusville Kennedy Space Centre has unparalleled views of the Indian River. Alligators can be spotted from hotel room balconies, as can several rocket launch sites. The hotel also boasts cool space-themed decor.
When to go: Florida is best experienced during the winter months, from November to May, before the humidity kicks in.
How to get there: Emirates currently flies from Dubai to Orlando five times a week.
Bob%20Marley%3A%20One%20Love
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'Dark Waters'
Directed by: Todd Haynes
Starring: Mark Ruffalo, Anne Hathaway, William Jackson Harper
Rating: ****
BORDERLANDS
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis
Director: Eli Roth
Rating: 0/5
COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Qyubic
Started: October 2023
Founder: Namrata Raina
Based: Dubai
Sector: E-commerce
Current number of staff: 10
Investment stage: Pre-seed
Initial investment: Undisclosed
Electoral College Victory
Trump has so far secured 295 Electoral College votes, according to the Associated Press, exceeding the 270 needed to win. Only Nevada and Arizona remain to be called, and both swing states are leaning Republican. Trump swept all five remaining swing states, North Carolina, Georgia, Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin, sealing his path to victory and giving him a strong mandate.
Popular Vote Tally
The count is ongoing, but Trump currently leads with nearly 51 per cent of the popular vote to Harris’s 47.6 per cent. Trump has over 72.2 million votes, while Harris trails with approximately 67.4 million.
From Zero
Artist: Linkin Park
Label: Warner Records
Number of tracks: 11
Rating: 4/5
UPI facts
More than 2.2 million Indian tourists arrived in UAE in 2023
More than 3.5 million Indians reside in UAE
Indian tourists can make purchases in UAE using rupee accounts in India through QR-code-based UPI real-time payment systems
Indian residents in UAE can use their non-resident NRO and NRE accounts held in Indian banks linked to a UAE mobile number for UPI transactions