It is coming up to that time of year when the world's technology manufacturers launch their latest, fastest, shiniest, life-changing, new products.
You would think with such promise and hyperbole, the gadgets would sell themselves. The merest glimpse of the charger socket should surely be enough to shift thousands of units. But it seems these gadgets are incapable of selling themselves. They need a PYT.
You know the sort I'm talking about. The Pretty Young Thing stands there in front of the gadget looking glamorous with her deceptively flawless skin - a patina made from layers of thick make-up that could only have been applied with a trowel.
Sometimes they dance about in revealing clothes. Sometimes they sit behind a desk or wear thick-rimmed glasses to give an impression of studiousness.
Whatever the shtick, they are just eye candy, there to greet customers with a smile and add sex appeal to the sale.
And it works. Well, it half works - they attract the men mostly.
"Technology can be very boring and for these guys this is as exciting as it gets," said one events manager at a recent launch for a new camera.
I disagree. Gadgets are sexy enough and do not need a manicured hand to sell them.
Steve Jobs did not need attractive girls to sell billions of iPhones, iPads and iWhatevers. I mean, the man wore turtlenecks.
The truth is, a great product will sell itself.
Fine, if it's an energy-saving, network switching subsystem for the telecoms industry that you're launching, bring a whole host of PYTs and parade them around the room if you want. This is the sort of product that needs a dose of sex appeal to sell.
But a laptop? A phone? A tablet computer? Please, put it away and preserve some modesty.
These women create an ambience equivalent to the cheesy 1970s car showroom with a bikini-clad blonde draped across a bonnet. So, what was the size of the engine? How quickly did it get to 60 miles per hour? You'll never know. You were too busy watching her slide off the car.
Some may argue that these ladies attract attention, that people will go over to talk to them and with great PR skills the girl will sell the product. As a habitué of too many tech launches to count, let me tell you otherwise.
Ask a PYT what other colours are available in the range, and she'll probably answer. Ask her what type of screen the device sports and you will invariably be met with an embarrassed smile as you are told to wait until she checks. And forget asking her about what Amoled stands for. (It is Active Matrix Organic Light Emitting Diode, in case you were wondering. And no, I did not Google it, thank you very much).
Everyone has the right to choose their way in life, and if baring your legs in public and becoming as objectified as the product you are parading around pays your bills and makes you happy, then all the best. But there is something completely unnecessary to PYTs at consumer tech shows.
The notion that "sex sells" is regrettable anywhere in the world, but perhaps more so in the UAE. Rarely do you come across such a contrast. Muslim women in modest black abayas sit opposite a European blonde in a short skirt. It is an uncomfortable situation for everyone; and it seems utterly short-sighted and small-minded of organisers to deem it acceptable.
The devices that tech firms sell are sophisticated. The consumers they sell them too are even more so. It's time the marketing matched the product and the buyer.
thamid@thenational.ae
The%20specs
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The%20specs
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The specs
Engine: 1.6-litre 4-cyl turbo
Power: 217hp at 5,750rpm
Torque: 300Nm at 1,900rpm
Transmission: eight-speed auto
Price: from Dh130,000
On sale: now
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Company%20Profile
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The specs
Engine: 2.7-litre 4-cylinder Turbomax
Power: 310hp
Torque: 583Nm
Transmission: 8-speed automatic
Price: From Dh192,500
On sale: Now
Top Hundred overseas picks
London Spirit: Kieron Pollard, Riley Meredith
Welsh Fire: Adam Zampa, David Miller, Naseem Shah
Manchester Originals: Andre Russell, Wanindu Hasaranga, Sean Abbott
Northern Superchargers: Dwayne Bravo, Wahab Riaz
Oval Invincibles: Sunil Narine, Rilee Rossouw
Trent Rockets: Colin Munro
Birmingham Phoenix: Matthew Wade, Kane Richardson
Southern Brave: Quinton de Kock
COMPANY PROFILE
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Total funding: Self funded
World Cup warm up matches
May 24 Pakistan v Afghanistan, Bristol; Sri Lanka v South Africa, Cardiff
May 25 England v Australia, Southampton; India v New Zealand, The Oval
May 26 South Africa v West Indies, Bristol; Pakistan v Bangladesh, Cardiff
May 27 Australia v Sri Lanka, Southampton; England v Afghanistan, The Oval
May 28 West Indies v New Zealand, Bristol; Bangladesh v India, Cardiff
Most%20polluted%20cities%20in%20the%20Middle%20East
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MOST%20POLLUTED%20COUNTRIES%20IN%20THE%20WORLD
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Lamsa
Founder: Badr Ward
Launched: 2014
Employees: 60
Based: Abu Dhabi
Sector: EdTech
Funding to date: $15 million
The specs
Engine: 2.0-litre 4-cylturbo
Transmission: seven-speed DSG automatic
Power: 242bhp
Torque: 370Nm
Price: Dh136,814
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COMPANY%20PROFILE
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The specs
Engine: 3.0-litre six-cylinder turbo
Power: 398hp from 5,250rpm
Torque: 580Nm at 1,900-4,800rpm
Transmission: Eight-speed auto
Fuel economy, combined: 6.5L/100km
On sale: December
Price: From Dh330,000 (estimate)
The specs
Engine: 2-litre or 3-litre 4Motion all-wheel-drive Power: 250Nm (2-litre); 340 (3-litre) Torque: 450Nm Transmission: 8-speed automatic Starting price: From Dh212,000 On sale: Now
Company%20profile
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Keep it fun and engaging
Stuart Ritchie, director of wealth advice at AES International, says children cannot learn something overnight, so it helps to have a fun routine that keeps them engaged and interested.
“I explain to my daughter that the money I draw from an ATM or the money on my bank card doesn’t just magically appear – it’s money I have earned from my job. I show her how this works by giving her little chores around the house so she can earn pocket money,” says Mr Ritchie.
His daughter is allowed to spend half of her pocket money, while the other half goes into a bank account. When this money hits a certain milestone, Mr Ritchie rewards his daughter with a small lump sum.
He also recommends books that teach the importance of money management for children, such as The Squirrel Manifesto by Ric Edelman and Jean Edelman.
Honeymoonish
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UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets