It began so well, then, much like my football team Tottenham Hotspur, it disappeared down the drain in disappointment and despair.
This time last week I was happy as a spring lamb, kicking my heels for joy on the surprise news that I had two tickets for the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley Stadium in London.
What joy. A few days back home, see the family, including my football-mad 15-year-old son, and a big football match at the national stadium. Surely nothing could go wrong with that?
It got better as I went through the boarding gate on to an Emirates Airline A380. The young chap on the desk looked at my pass, looked at his computer and then, before my astonished eyes, tore my ticket in half. "I regret to inform you, Mr Kane"…he began. What? I'd forgotten to pay my Dewa bill and wouldn't be allowed on the flight? My passport had expired with my noticing and I couldn't travel?
"I regret to inform you that you've been upgraded to business class," he finished, with an ironic little grin.
As I settled back in the reclining seat and took a first sip of something sparkling, I thought, "Surely, this is an omen. How can anything go wrong after this?"
I had forgotten, in my biz-class euphoria, Tottenham's fathomless ability to disappoint, of course. As anybody who watched the match will know, it all fell apart in a welter of bad refereeing decisions and miserable play by my team.
But thank you, Emirates, for those few hours of happiness - before reality struck with a vengeance.
---
Despite the football, it was still a good time to get away from Dubai. My apartment block in the Marina has been going through one of its increasingly regular bouts of utilities and maintenance failure.
The block must be about eight years old, but if things go on at this rate, I feel sorry for anybody who is relying on the full 99-year lease. I cannot imagine it habitable after 20, let alone nearly 100 years.
The AC regularly fails for several hours on end, there have been disruptions to electricity supply and, of the six elevators that serve the 53-floor block, it seems as though at least three are permanently under maintenance of some kind or other.
Last week, it was the turn of the water supply. A burst pipe on the 29th floor forced the building management to cut the supply to 20 floors, both above and below that level.
Hour after hour passed with no water. How you take it for granted; how the smallest thing becomes a chore without water, let alone major tasks like bathing my 3-year-old daughter before bed.
But also how quickly you adapt. After 12 hours, I lost all inhibitions about using the "communal facilities" by the swimming pool, where my girl eventually got her bath.
By the following morning, it was almost as though we'd lived all our lives in one of those communal housing projects they had in Soviet Russia - queuing patiently, complaining about the authorities in a conspiratorial way.
The maids proved the most resourceful of all. As I headed back up to my apartment on the 44th floor, two were chatting happily as they rinsed out the washing in the kiddies' paddling pool.
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It may be that Britain will have to resort to equally Spartan practices if circumstances continue.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, it's a "fact" (according to the water authorities) that the UK is in the middle of a drought that will last until Christmas at least, and could be a disaster for wildlife and farmers.
Well, you could have fooled me. It rained on each of the four days I was there, and there was nothing to suggest anything other than business as usual for Britain's meteorologists: rain and more rain.
Maybe this is the real sign that Britons are going soft. Now they even refuse to believe the evidence of their own eyes. It's raining, yet there's a hosepipe ban in place across most of the country.
As summer stokes up in the UAE, they should take a trip to see what real dry weather looks like. That should toughen them up.
fkane@thenational.ae
A State of Passion
Directors: Carol Mansour and Muna Khalidi
Stars: Dr Ghassan Abu-Sittah
Rating: 4/5
Match info
Huddersfield Town 0
Chelsea 3
Kante (34'), Jorginho (45' pen), Pedro (80')
MEDIEVIL%20(1998)
%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EDeveloper%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20SCE%20Studio%20Cambridge%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EPublisher%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20Sony%20Computer%20Entertainment%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3EConsole%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%20PlayStation%2C%20PlayStation%204%20and%205%3Cbr%3E%3Cstrong%3ERating%3A%3C%2Fstrong%3E%203.5%2F5%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
Mercer, the investment consulting arm of US services company Marsh & McLennan, expects its wealth division to at least double its assets under management (AUM) in the Middle East as wealth in the region continues to grow despite economic headwinds, a company official said.
Mercer Wealth, which globally has $160 billion in AUM, plans to boost its AUM in the region to $2-$3bn in the next 2-3 years from the present $1bn, said Yasir AbuShaban, a Dubai-based principal with Mercer Wealth.
“Within the next two to three years, we are looking at reaching $2 to $3 billion as a conservative estimate and we do see an opportunity to do so,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Mercer does not directly make investments, but allocates clients’ money they have discretion to, to professional asset managers. They also provide advice to clients.
“We have buying power. We can negotiate on their (client’s) behalf with asset managers to provide them lower fees than they otherwise would have to get on their own,” he added.
Mercer Wealth’s clients include sovereign wealth funds, family offices, and insurance companies among others.
From its office in Dubai, Mercer also looks after Africa, India and Turkey, where they also see opportunity for growth.
Wealth creation in Middle East and Africa (MEA) grew 8.5 per cent to $8.1 trillion last year from $7.5tn in 2015, higher than last year’s global average of 6 per cent and the second-highest growth in a region after Asia-Pacific which grew 9.9 per cent, according to consultancy Boston Consulting Group (BCG). In the region, where wealth grew just 1.9 per cent in 2015 compared with 2014, a pickup in oil prices has helped in wealth generation.
BCG is forecasting MEA wealth will rise to $12tn by 2021, growing at an annual average of 8 per cent.
Drivers of wealth generation in the region will be split evenly between new wealth creation and growth of performance of existing assets, according to BCG.
Another general trend in the region is clients’ looking for a comprehensive approach to investing, according to Mr AbuShaban.
“Institutional investors or some of the families are seeing a slowdown in the available capital they have to invest and in that sense they are looking at optimizing the way they manage their portfolios and making sure they are not investing haphazardly and different parts of their investment are working together,” said Mr AbuShaban.
Some clients also have a higher appetite for risk, given the low interest-rate environment that does not provide enough yield for some institutional investors. These clients are keen to invest in illiquid assets, such as private equity and infrastructure.
“What we have seen is a desire for higher returns in what has been a low-return environment specifically in various fixed income or bonds,” he said.
“In this environment, we have seen a de facto increase in the risk that clients are taking in things like illiquid investments, private equity investments, infrastructure and private debt, those kind of investments were higher illiquidity results in incrementally higher returns.”
The Abu Dhabi Investment Authority, one of the largest sovereign wealth funds, said in its 2016 report that has gradually increased its exposure in direct private equity and private credit transactions, mainly in Asian markets and especially in China and India. The authority’s private equity department focused on structured equities owing to “their defensive characteristics.”
How to protect yourself when air quality drops
Install an air filter in your home.
Close your windows and turn on the AC.
Shower or bath after being outside.
Wear a face mask.
Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.
If driving, turn your engine off when stationary.
Kanye%20West
%3Cp%3EYe%20%E2%80%94%20the%20rapper%20formerly%20known%20as%20Kanye%20West%20%E2%80%94%20has%20seen%20his%20net%20worth%20fall%20to%20%24400%20million%20in%20recent%20weeks.%20That%E2%80%99s%20a%20precipitous%20drop%20from%20Bloomberg%E2%80%99s%20estimates%20of%20%246.8%20billion%20at%20the%20end%20of%202021.%3Cbr%3EYe%E2%80%99s%20wealth%20plunged%20after%20business%20partners%2C%20including%20Adidas%2C%20severed%20ties%20with%20him%20on%20the%20back%20of%20anti-Semitic%20remarks%20earlier%20this%20year.%3Cbr%3EWest%E2%80%99s%20present%20net%20worth%20derives%20from%20cash%2C%20his%20music%2C%20real%20estate%20and%20a%20stake%20in%20former%20wife%20Kim%20Kardashian%E2%80%99s%20shapewear%20firm%2C%20Skims.%3C%2Fp%3E%0A
The specs
Engine: 1.5-litre turbo
Power: 181hp
Torque: 230Nm
Transmission: 6-speed automatic
Starting price: Dh79,000
On sale: Now
