There's just one big property billboard left in Dubai these days. Visitors to Cityscape this week will drive past it. It's a throwback to the heady days of the boom.
The Pearl hoarding extends for hundreds of metres along Sheikh Zayed Road.
It urges potential investors to "Live a bespoke lifestyle".
I don't know what a bespoke lifestyle is, but I'm pretty sure I'm not living one.
The hoarding shows a series of giant pictures depicting a life of luxury. The best one has an elderly butler in evening dress dusting a chandelier in a swanky penthouse, all minimal and chrome. This is vintage stuff.
It says to the passing motorist: "That penthouse could be yours. You too could own the bloke with the duster."
It represents the cosy and aspirational dream of property ownership. These days it looks out of place - a bit like Cityscape.
It is advertising at its corniest and most unbelievable.
A more representative advertisement would show a half-built apartment with exposed walls and live wires hanging from the ceiling where the chandelier should be.
Underneath would be an electrocuted butler clutching a charred duster.
The real value of Cityscape is the forum it represents for the industry to get together and talk about the stuff of reality - not fantasy.
I hope this week is all about real projects, home finance, visa rules, service charges, bounced cheques, bricks and mortar.
The butlers should stay below stairs.
scronin@thenational.ae
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Greatest of All Time
Starring: Vijay, Sneha, Prashanth, Prabhu Deva, Mohan
A little about CVRL
Founded in 1985 by Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid, Vice President and Ruler of Dubai, the Central Veterinary Research Laboratory (CVRL) is a government diagnostic centre that provides testing and research facilities to the UAE and neighbouring countries.
One of its main goals is to provide permanent treatment solutions for veterinary related diseases.
The taxidermy centre was established 12 years ago and is headed by Dr Ulrich Wernery.
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