Like Pele, star columnists garner a certain amount of resentment from their fellow workers even without much-deserved gold trophies. AFP
Like Pele, star columnists garner a certain amount of resentment from their fellow workers even without much-deserved gold trophies. AFP

A masterclass in capitalism taken on a Polish train



Many years ago, more than I care to remember, two friends set up a business. It was in the middle of the 1990s, but it seems so much longer ago because at that time the internet barely existed. Imagine: no Google, no Wikipedia, no Facebook. It's amazing that we were able to communicate at all.

Eduardo was the London correspondent of a Mexican news agency. I was a publisher at Euromoney, the financial publishing arm of the Daily Mail, producing magazines and generating huge profits. I grew bored of making money for my bosses and thought we could do it for ourselves.

So we approached The European,at that time a weekly publication, and sold them the idea that we would produce a supplement that they could print. We would pay them an amount, I can't remember how much but I recall it was paltry, and we would sell advertisements to cover our costs and generate our massive profits. The Porsche 911, the Swan yacht, and the Swiss chalet would soon be ours.

We worked for a while in a large airy office in Farringdon Street, central London, before Eduardo went to Salvador, Brazil, and I set off for Warsaw, Poland. Helping me was a Pole called Lech, who doubled as a translator. We went round to all the bankers, who listened patiently to our pitch, then promised to send us sackloads of money.

Lech and I even took a train to Gdansk in the hope of seeing his famous namesake - the former president Walesa who broke the communist stranglehold. On the long, dreary ride back to the capital our train stopped to pick up some passengers whose slow train had ground to a halt. Suddenly our first-class carriage was flooded with pensioners who had been picking fruit. We shared our food and drinks and I ask Lech to translate.

"You have seen remarkable changes in the past few years," I said. "The fall of the Berlin Wall, independence, democracy, liberalisation and the growth of capitalism. Which has been the most incredible?"

"None," an old crone replied. "All the changes have been for the worst; now we pay more for our electricity, water and housing. They are all crooks."

As a Thatcher's child, weaned on the merits of the free market championed by the former British prime minister, I was shocked. Eduardo and I met up back at our office in London. Faxes went back and forth until it became clear that nobody had any intention of giving us any money. We left our fancy offices, paid the enormous phone bills and looked for other opportunities.

My career has since gone from peak to peak like an Alpine climber. Eduardo appears to have done OK and is now writing for some outfit called The New York Times. I occasionally read his articles - the internet is a wonderful thing - and they are full of wisdom and insight. To cap it all he has just published a book.

The Price of Everything,by Eduardo Porter, is available in a number of languages. I always make a point of buying my friends' books, partly because you never know when you might need them to buy one of yours. I even buy my wife's, although now I tend to wait until they appear in Polish. Her latest, To Hell in High Heels, known in Polish as Do Piekta Na Wysokich Obcasach, is required reading for any Pole who wants to roll back the years. I must send a copy to my friend from the train.

Amazon has yet to deliver Ed's book, but he sent me an extract that appeared in his newspaper, and I was glad to find something in the "Gray Lady" that was a joy to read. I assume that the title of Ed's book comes from the famous quote that a "cynic knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing".

In the piece he discusses the impact that superstar wages have had on the rest of the population.

I understand his concern. Star columnists always generate a certain resentment from their fellow workers, but I fear it's a cross they have to bear. I, for one, have grown used to the raised eyebrows and vacant expressions when I stroll into the newsroom at 11.30 in the morning and produce a piece of polished prose moments later.

Pele, Brazil's most famous footballer, doubtless stirred a similar frisson in his fellow professionals; Picasso doubtless created envy in his pals in Montparnasse when he doodled on a napkin and sold it for more than they made in a year. Little do these artisans appreciate that a moment of genius is worth a lifetime of toil.

Ed's point seems to be that success, while magnificent for those lucky few who achieve it, affects the rest of us adversely. In a way, this makes our failure all those years ago easier to bear.

I hope this book finally makes Ed the money we thought we were in line for all those years ago and that he lends me his Swiss chalet. Like my friend on the train, I have come to regard capitalists as robber barons rather than creators of wealth. I always felt that the value of something had nothing to do with its price, and that it was better to spend money than to earn it. Now if only my bank manager understood that too. I may have to send him a copy of Ed's book.

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The Perfect Couple

Starring: Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Jack Reynor

Creator: Jenna Lamia

Rating: 3/5

Water waste

In the UAE’s arid climate, small shrubs, bushes and flower beds usually require about six litres of water per square metre, daily. That increases to 12 litres per square metre a day for small trees, and 300 litres for palm trees.

Horticulturists suggest the best time for watering is before 8am or after 6pm, when water won't be dried up by the sun.

A global report published by the Water Resources Institute in August, ranked the UAE 10th out of 164 nations where water supplies are most stretched.

The Emirates is the world’s third largest per capita water consumer after the US and Canada.

Indoor cricket in a nutshell

Indoor cricket in a nutshell
Indoor Cricket World Cup - Sept 16-20, Insportz, Dubai

16 Indoor cricket matches are 16 overs per side
8 There are eight players per team
9 There have been nine Indoor Cricket World Cups for men. Australia have won every one.
5 Five runs are deducted from the score when a wickets falls
4 Batsmen bat in pairs, facing four overs per partnership

Scoring In indoor cricket, runs are scored by way of both physical and bonus runs. Physical runs are scored by both batsmen completing a run from one crease to the other. Bonus runs are scored when the ball hits a net in different zones, but only when at least one physical run is score.

Zones

A Front net, behind the striker and wicketkeeper: 0 runs
B Side nets, between the striker and halfway down the pitch: 1 run
C Side nets between halfway and the bowlers end: 2 runs
D Back net: 4 runs on the bounce, 6 runs on the full

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The specs

BMW M8 Competition Coupe

Engine 4.4-litre twin-turbo V8

Power 625hp at 6,000rpm

Torque 750Nm from 1,800-5,800rpm

Gearbox Eight-speed paddleshift auto

Acceleration 0-100kph in 3.2 sec

Top speed 305kph

Fuel economy, combined 10.6L / 100km

Price from Dh700,000 (estimate)

On sale Jan/Feb 2020
 

Stree

Producer: Maddock Films, Jio Movies
Director: Amar Kaushik
Cast: Rajkummar Rao, Shraddha Kapoor, Pankaj Tripathi, Aparshakti Khurana, Abhishek Banerjee
Rating: 3.5

Match info:

Real Betis v Sevilla, 10.45pm (UAE)

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SM Town Live is on Friday, April 6 at Autism Rocks Arena, Dubai. Tickets are Dh375 at www.platinumlist.net

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Married Malala

Malala Yousafzai is enjoying married life, her father said.

The 24-year-old married Pakistan cricket executive Asser Malik last year in a small ceremony in the UK.

Ziauddin Yousafzai told The National his daughter was ‘very happy’ with her husband.

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Bharat

Director: Ali Abbas Zafar

Starring: Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Sunil Grover

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

The Bio

Favourite Emirati dish: I have so many because it has a lot of herbs and vegetables. Harees  (oats with chicken) is one of them

Favourite place to go to: Dubai Mall because it has lots of sports shops.

Her motivation: My performance because I know that whatever I do, if I put the effort in, I’ll get results

During her free time: I like to drink coffee - a latte no sugar and no flavours. I do not like cold drinks

Pet peeve: That with every meal they give you a fries and Pepsi. That is so unhealthy

Advice to anyone who wants to be an ironman: Go for the goal. If you are consistent, you will get there. With the first one, it might not be what they want but they should start and just do it

Zombieland: Double Tap

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Stars: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone

Four out of five stars 

Blackpink World Tour [Born Pink] In Cinemas

Starring: Rose, Jisoo, Jennie, Lisa

Directors: Min Geun, Oh Yoon-Dong

Rating: 3/5

The specs

Engine: four-litre V6 and 3.5-litre V6 twin-turbo

Transmission: six-speed and 10-speed

Power: 271 and 409 horsepower

Torque: 385 and 650Nm

Price: from Dh229,900 to Dh355,000

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RESULT

Copa del Rey, semi-final second leg

Real Madrid 0
Barcelona 3 (Suarez (50', 73' pen), Varane (69' OG)

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BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE

Starring: Winona Ryder, Michael Keaton, Jenny Ortega

Director: Tim Burton

Rating: 3/5

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UAE rugby in numbers

5 - Year sponsorship deal between Hesco and Jebel Ali Dragons

700 - Dubai Hurricanes had more than 700 playing members last season between their mini and youth, men's and women's teams

Dh600,000 - Dubai Exiles' budget for pitch and court hire next season, for their rugby, netball and cricket teams

Dh1.8m - Dubai Hurricanes' overall budget for next season

Dh2.8m - Dubai Exiles’ overall budget for next season

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If you go

The flights

Etihad flies direct from Abu Dhabi to San Francisco from Dh5,760 return including taxes. 

The car

Etihad Guest members get a 10 per cent worldwide discount when booking with Hertz, as well as earning miles on their rentals. A week's car hire costs from Dh1,500 including taxes.

The hotels

Along the route, Motel 6 (www.motel6.com) offers good value and comfort, with rooms from $55 (Dh202) per night including taxes. In Portland, the Jupiter Hotel (https://jupiterhotel.com/) has rooms from $165 (Dh606) per night including taxes. The Society Hotel https://thesocietyhotel.com/ has rooms from $130 (Dh478) per night including taxes. 

More info

To keep up with constant developments in Portland, visit www.travelportland.com. Good guidebooks include the Lonely Planet guides to Northern California and Washington, Oregon & the Pacific Northwest.