In our culture, it’s frowned on for single women to live on their own. Some Emiratis label such women rebellious, but mostly they’re simply misjudged. In my case, I’m challenging the status quo – it’s been almost eight months since I moved away from my family home in Dubai to Abu Dhabi, where I now live in an apartment on my own. The purpose of the move was to pursue my career as a journalist.
In the beginning, things were a little puzzling in the capital. When I first set foot in my new home, I was overwhelmed and the reality of the situation hit me – I was becoming truly independent and it was time for me to shoulder the responsibilities of being an adult.
My mother has always supported my decisions. Sometimes when I become indecisive, she pushes me to chase my dreams and gives me words of encouragement. My father, on the other hand, is more protective. When I told him I wanted to move to Abu Dhabi, he was concerned and told me to try for other work options in Dubai so I could stay living under his roof. I don’t blame him – he has three daughters and wants to make sure they’re looked after. Fortunately, my father eventually accepted my decision.
Many Emiratis don’t seem to understand that every person has the right to choose their own path. A lot would ask why I was keen on moving out of my family house. Still today, some of my relatives question my decision and try to convince me that Abu Dhabi isn’t the right place to be and it’s not as welcoming to single women. I refuse to allow such opinions to influence my decision.
Culturally, women are protected by their families. It’s not the same for Arab men – they’re able to go out and lead life as they wish.
The problem is the UAE is becoming more cosmopolitan, but it seems some people are not growing with the country and continue to maintain the old-school way of thinking.
Despite what anybody thinks, this move has taught me that I’m able to challenge myself and my culture, and in the process I have discovered my strengths and weaknesses.
Now I'm working at The National and taking care of the apartment and myself, I have more appreciation for things I used to take for granted at home. Even though I'm not far away, I feel distanced from my family – I miss them. I call my mother every day. The most satisfying thing, though, is my father now views me as a grown-up.
I stand by my decision to pursue a life in Abu Dhabi, and my advice to those who want to do the same is cherish and embrace your parents wherever they are; always think carefully about what you want; don’t let anyone stop you, but consider both sides of the argument; and try not to use the culture as an excuse. In the words of Albert Einstein: “If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
Maryam Al Shamsi is a trainee reporter as part of The National's trainee programme.
If you have a good story to tell or an interesting issue to debate, contact Melinda Healy on mhealy@thenational.ae.