Super Granny Andalene Salvesen to share parenting wisdom in the UAE

Big on Children, a fun and quirky store in The Dubai Mall, is sponsoring Andalene Salvesen's Dubai visit which starts on November 27 and will last for four weeks. There are several options for families who want to book a session with Super Granny.

Parenting coach and Super Granny Andalene Salvesen at the Big On Children store in The Dubai Mall. Antonie Robertson / The National

If you’re going to implement a reward system for your child, it should never involve sweets or a toy. “The reward is quality, positive time together,” says Andalene Salvesen.

The 59-year-old South African, also known as Super Granny, will be in Dubai for four weeks starting on November 27. She is a mother and grandmother who has worked as a school principal and has also been a leader of mother-and-toddler groups for many years.

Today, she travels the world conducting parenting seminars and courses as the founder of the Monsters to Munchkins family website – an online group of professional family coaches, led by Salvesen, who work with parents around the world.

One such parent is Samar Nabulsi, a 33-year-old Jordanian living in Dubai, who contacted Salvesen two years ago soon after becoming a mother of two and launching a new business at the same time.

Nabulsi is the owner of Big On Children, a fun, quirky store in The Dubai Mall, where parents can personalise gifts for their children and buy fair trade clothes from South Africa, and her store is sponsoring Salvesen to make regular visits to Dubai and Abu Dhabi, in the hope that more families can benefit from her parenting advice and wisdom.

Salvesen is working on her next book, which will tackle healthy lunch-box ideas, “combined with parenting advice, of course, because you can’t get them to eat healthy if you don’t discipline them”, she says.

All of her books, including last year's release, A Brand New Child in 5 Easy Steps, which is currently being reprinted because of high demand, will be available at Big on Children. The store will also stock her incentive charts, a key tool in her parenting approach for youngsters from ages 3 and up. Salvesen plans to continue visiting the UAE about four times a year, thanks to her partnership with Big on Children.

She typically works with up to 50 families during each visit. Her coaching sessions, in the privacy of a family’s home, usually run for three hours and cost US$300 (Dh1,100). She also offers the option of chatting with a family on Skype for two to three hours, which costs $75 per hour, or meeting parents for an hour’s consult over coffee, for $100. The home visit involves the entire family and children must be present, preferably with both parents and any other primary caregivers – such as a nanny – present, if possible.

Salvesen has worked with children of all ages, from newborns to teenagers, tailoring sessions according to age, temperament and individual circumstances, descending like a modern-day Mary Poppins – sans umbrella – to help parents at the end of their tether.

When should parents seek the aid of a coach? As soon as they are pregnant, says Salvesen.

“Forewarned is forearmed,” she says. “If you are prepared in how to deal with that first tantrum, you won’t do it wrong and have to undo it.”

Top 5 tips

Don't scream: "Screaming at a child never works. You don't want a child to listen to you out of fear – they will continue to do the wrong behaviour behind your back. I don't believe in shouting because it breaks a child's spirit, plus they stop taking you seriously. "

Instead, says Salvesen, you should only instruct once – and that’s exactly what it is, an instruction, not an option. You then tell the child: “You are not listening”, and that means there is a consequence, which changes according to the child’s age. Salvesen believes this approach works for babies as young as 9 months.

“They understand cause and effect from that age,” she says. “They know that when they throw something from their high chair, mum will pick it up, and they do it over and over again.”

For babies, a few seconds of time out should do it.

You're not a friend: The worst thing a parent can do, the biggest impediment to discipline, says Salvesen, is to try to be friends with their children instead of parents. "Your job is not to just keep your child happy, but to build character, equip them for life, equip them to make good choices."

Don't let relatives dictate terms: Salvesen says the biggest challenge when she works with mothers is their fear of what their mother-in-law might say or think.

“These are your kids and your household,” says Salvesen. Disciplining a child one way and then doing it a different way in front of an audience sends mixed messages.

Let grandparents know their limits: There are grandparents who give their grandchild a toy catalogue and tell them to circle every toy they want, says Nabulsi, adding that perhaps it's because as parents they were very disciplined with their children and when they become grandparents they want to do the opposite.

Stick to your word: "Say what you mean and mean what you say," says Salvesen. "If you say no, stick to no. If you mean don't jump on the couch, say it."

Andalene Salvesen will be in Dubai on November 27. Visit www.munchkins.me to book a session Andalene Salvesen will be in Dubai on November 27. Visit www.munchkins.me to book a session