Director: Dominic Sena
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy
What a bizarre actor Nicolas Cage is. Fifteen years ago, he won an Oscar for his superlative turn as an alcoholic, self-destructive screenwriter in Leaving Las Vegas, a performance that ushered him into the mainstream after early cult films such as Raising Arizona and Wild at Heart. Then came his action-hero phrase - a three-strike hit of The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off that elevated him to the A-list and his pay packet to $20 million (Dh73.4m) per picture.
Yet the past decade has been a positively surreal ride for Cage, marked by the occasional high (his twin screenwriters in Adaptation) and a series of increasingly regular lows. From the appalling remakes of The Wicker Man and Bangkok Dangerous to B-movie blunders such as Knowing and Next, Cage's choices have become increasingly misguided. Couple this with his acting style - so overblown, he makes Al Pacino look restrained - and his recent career has all the finesse of a dancing rhino.
That said, after Kick-Ass,Bad Lieutenant (where his collaboration with Werner Herzog was magnificently bonkers) and even The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Cage has had a decent 12 months. So Season of the Witch will come as a disappointment to fans praying for an end to his erratic on-screen antics. A nonsensical mediaeval thriller, one that feels that it's been drastically reshaped in the editing room, it belongs to the actor's ever-growing array of putrid potboilers.
Reuniting Cage with his Gone in Sixty Seconds director Dominic Sena, this odious 14th-century odyssey sees Cage and Ron Perlman play Behman and Felson, two knights entrusted to transport a suspected witch (Claire Foy) to a remote abbey. There, monks will perform a ritual upon her in the hope of ridding the land of the Black Plague.
Accompanying them are a posse of pals, including the Liverpool-born Stephen Graham's "spineless scoundrel" (sounding bizarrely like Woody Allen) and the rising British star Robert Sheehan as an altar boy who dreams of becoming a knight. Obstacles include poorly rendered CGI wolves and a rickety bridge, in what proves the film's only decent set-piece as our heroes try to cross it before it collapses.
The story hinges on whether Foy's character is a witch or not. And, to be fair, the actress best known for playing the lead in the 2008 BBC version of Little Dorrit gives a spirited turn, investing far more energy into her underwritten role than it merits. In truth, Cage offers one of his more understated performances, forging a decent enough double act with Perlman. And there's even a chance for Christopher Lee to ham it up for a brief cameo.
Problem is, aside from the great Halloween make-up - for just about every extra is covered in boils, warts and pustules - Season of the Witch is about as much fun as dysentery. The special effects are second-rate, the twist mundane and the dialogue shocking ("we're gonna need more holy water" is a wonderful example). All of which would be fine if the film went for camp-B movie territory, but this takes itself way too seriously. Dispiriting stuff - and another blot on the Cage copybook.
The specs
Engine: four-litre V6 and 3.5-litre V6 twin-turbo
Transmission: six-speed and 10-speed
Power: 271 and 409 horsepower
Torque: 385 and 650Nm
Price: from Dh229,900 to Dh355,000
Israel Palestine on Swedish TV 1958-1989
Director: Goran Hugo Olsson
Rating: 5/5
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What is a Ponzi scheme?
A fraudulent investment operation where the scammer provides fake reports and generates returns for old investors through money paid by new investors, rather than through ligitimate business activities.
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Five famous companies founded by teens
There are numerous success stories of teen businesses that were created in college dorm rooms and other modest circumstances. Below are some of the most recognisable names in the industry:
- Facebook: Mark Zuckerberg and his friends started Facebook when he was a 19-year-old Harvard undergraduate.
- Dell: When Michael Dell was an undergraduate student at Texas University in 1984, he started upgrading computers for profit. He starting working full-time on his business when he was 19. Eventually, his company became the Dell Computer Corporation and then Dell Inc.
- Subway: Fred DeLuca opened the first Subway restaurant when he was 17. In 1965, Mr DeLuca needed extra money for college, so he decided to open his own business. Peter Buck, a family friend, lent him $1,000 and together, they opened Pete’s Super Submarines. A few years later, the company was rebranded and called Subway.
- Mashable: In 2005, Pete Cashmore created Mashable in Scotland when he was a teenager. The site was then a technology blog. Over the next few decades, Mr Cashmore has turned Mashable into a global media company.
- Oculus VR: Palmer Luckey founded Oculus VR in June 2012, when he was 19. In August that year, Oculus launched its Kickstarter campaign and raised more than $1 million in three days. Facebook bought Oculus for $2 billion two years later.
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
THE SIXTH SENSE
Starring: Bruce Willis, Toni Collette, Hayley Joel Osment
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Rating: 5/5
BORDERLANDS
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis
Director: Eli Roth
Rating: 0/5
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How to come clean about financial infidelity
- Be honest and transparent: It is always better to own up than be found out. Tell your partner everything they want to know. Show remorse. Inform them of the extent of the situation so they know what they are dealing with.
- Work on yourself: Be honest with yourself and your partner and figure out why you did it. Don’t be ashamed to ask for professional help.
- Give it time: Like any breach of trust, it requires time to rebuild. So be consistent, communicate often and be patient with your partner and yourself.
- Discuss your financial situation regularly: Ensure your spouse is involved in financial matters and decisions. Your ability to consistently follow through with what you say you are going to do when it comes to money can make all the difference in your partner’s willingness to trust you again.
- Work on a plan to resolve the problem together: If there is a lot of debt, for example, create a budget and financial plan together and ensure your partner is fully informed, involved and supported.
Carol Glynn, founder of Conscious Finance Coaching
Navdeep Suri, India's Ambassador to the UAE
There has been a longstanding need from the Indian community to have a religious premises where they can practise their beliefs. Currently there is a very, very small temple in Bur Dubai and the community has outgrown this. So this will be a major temple and open to all denominations and a place should reflect India’s diversity.
It fits so well into the UAE’s own commitment to tolerance and pluralism and coming in the year of tolerance gives it that extra dimension.
What we will see on April 20 is the foundation ceremony and we expect a pretty broad cross section of the Indian community to be present, both from the UAE and abroad. The Hindu group that is building the temple will have their holiest leader attending – and we expect very senior representation from the leadership of the UAE.
When the designs were taken to the leadership, there were two clear options. There was a New Jersey model with a rectangular structure with the temple recessed inside so it was not too visible from the outside and another was the Neasden temple in London with the spires in its classical shape. And they said: look we said we wanted a temple so it should look like a temple. So this should be a classical style temple in all its glory.
It is beautifully located - 30 minutes outside of Abu Dhabi and barely 45 minutes to Dubai so it serves the needs of both communities.
This is going to be the big temple where I expect people to come from across the country at major festivals and occasions.
It is hugely important – it will take a couple of years to complete given the scale. It is going to be remarkable and will contribute something not just to the landscape in terms of visual architecture but also to the ethos. Here will be a real representation of UAE’s pluralism.
TWISTERS
Director: Lee Isaac Chung
Starring: Glen Powell, Daisy Edgar-Jones, Anthony Ramos
Rating: 2.5/5
UAE currency: the story behind the money in your pockets
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Blackpink World Tour [Born Pink] In Cinemas
Starring: Rose, Jisoo, Jennie, Lisa
Directors: Min Geun, Oh Yoon-Dong
Rating: 3/5