British comedian Michael McIntyre at his performance at the World Trade Centre in Dubai. Pawan Singh / The National
British comedian Michael McIntyre at his performance at the World Trade Centre in Dubai. Pawan Singh / The National

Michael McIntyre test-drives latest comic content at Dubai show



There are two ways to look at Michael McIntyre’s decision to road-test his forthcoming Happy & Glorious tour in Dubai on Friday and Saturday, June 12 and June 13.

On the one hand, the best-­selling British comedian was offering the UAE audience a gift, the privilege of an unprecedented world premiere of sorts.

And the other? McIntyre’s two nights at Dubai World Trade Centre could easily be chalked up as a quick money run, a chance to try his new material in front of an easy, undemanding crowd.

We’re happy to report that all appearances point to the former – McIntyre didn’t just play to the local crowd, he pandered to them.

Despite the hype, this wasn’t a preview of the full new show, but more a pick ’n’ mix of new routines, old classics (including the one where he shows off his enormous calf muscles) and – get this – UAE-specific gags.

Apparently a favourite holiday destination of the comic’s family, it was clear from the way he slyly pokes fun at the Emirates that McIntyre has developed a certain affection for the country. And there were two main targets for his scorn – wealth and the ­weather.

In many ways, the crowd was the silent comedic foil for the night, the unassuming fall guy, always ready to pick up the slack and run with the gag.

McIntyre divided the audience up by ticket-price band into high-rolling VIPs, the “slightly less important people” and the main throng of “really unimportant people” at the back who, he said, had “no importance, no sway, no influence”.

But the people who do have these things also have Lamborghinis, he noted, and watches so heavy they have trouble walking in a straight line.

Well, yes, Michael – but let’s not forget you banked a tidy Dh120 million from your last tour. And I could not help but notice the apparently blatant product plugs in your set (I know exactly where McIntyre was staying and which airlines he prefers, details most celebrities generally keep to themselves).

Turning again to the crowd-as-foil, perhaps the funniest moment of Saturday, June 13, evening came when McIntyre mercilessly targeted a “VIP” who was sitting in the front row but watching the comedian on the big screen behind him. “I’m right here – sorry, do you want me to get out of the way?” he raged.

Oh, and traffic came up, too. While Dubai boasts the "biggest of everything", the one thing it trumps worldwide competition for hosting the smallest of, is stopping distances, he said. A good point – perhaps McIntyre should read up on The National's Road to Safety campaign.

After exhausting the UAE’s comedic potential, McIntyre returned to his polished, safe brand of observations on the mundanities of modern life – the various ways to carry a pair of reading glasses, airport etiquette, how most of a FaceTime conversation is spent checking yourself out in the top right-hand corner of the screen – “you might as well just be talking into a mirror”.

His skill here is in that charming, foppish, flowering delivery – cartoonily physical, pre-packaged for the big screen – rather than the observations themselves – newsflash: women like shopping more than men. No. Way.

McIntyre’s previous tour, Showtime, was the United Kingdom’s biggest comedy tour of 2012, playing to more than 600,000 people. In 2013, he took that show out internationally and cleaned up in other regions, including South Africa, Australia, Asia – and the UAE.

Things have been flipped on their head here – when Happy & Glorious kicks off in the UK on September 3, Dubaians can rightly say: “We got him first.”

Happy? Sure. Glorious? Just about.

rgarratt@thenational.ae

How to protect yourself when air quality drops

Install an air filter in your home.

Close your windows and turn on the AC.

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Stay indoors when conditions are particularly poor.

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Trolls World Tour

Directed by: Walt Dohrn, David Smith

Starring: Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake

Rating: 4 stars

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MATCH INFO

France 3
Umtiti (8'), Griezmann (29' pen), Dembele (63')

Italy 1
Bonucci (36')

COMPANY PROFILE
Name: HyperSpace
 
Started: 2020
 
Founders: Alexander Heller, Rama Allen and Desi Gonzalez
 
Based: Dubai, UAE
 
Sector: Entertainment 
 
Number of staff: 210 
 
Investment raised: $75 million from investors including Galaxy Interactive, Riyadh Season, Sega Ventures and Apis Venture Partners
Jigra
Director: Vasan Bala
Starring: Alia Bhatt, Vedang Raina, Manoj Pahwa, Harsh Singh
Rated: 3.5/5
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The five types of long-term residential visas

Obed Suhail of ServiceMarket, an online home services marketplace, outlines the five types of long-term residential visas:

Investors:

A 10-year residency visa can be obtained by investors who invest Dh10 million, out of which 60 per cent should not be in real estate. It can be a public investment through a deposit or in a business. Those who invest Dh5 million or more in property are eligible for a five-year residency visa. The invested amount should be completely owned by the investors, not loaned, and retained for at least three years.

Entrepreneurs:

A five-year multiple entry visa is available to entrepreneurs with a previous project worth Dh0.5m or those with the approval of an accredited business incubator in the UAE.  

Specialists

Expats with specialised talents, including doctors, specialists, scientists, inventors, and creative individuals working in the field of culture and art are eligible for a 10-year visa, given that they have a valid employment contract in one of these fields in the country.

Outstanding students:

A five-year visa will be granted to outstanding students who have a grade of 95 per cent or higher in a secondary school, or those who graduate with a GPA of 3.75 from a university. 

Retirees:

Expats who are at least 55 years old can obtain a five-year retirement visa if they invest Dh2m in property, have savings of Dh1m or more, or have a monthly income of at least Dh20,000.

PSG's line up

GK: Alphonse Areola (youth academy)

Defence - RB: Dani Alves (free transfer); CB: Marquinhos (€31.4 million); CB: Thiago Silva (€42m); LB: Layvin Kurzawa (€23m)

Midfield - Angel di Maria (€47m); Adrien Rabiot (youth academy); Marco Verratti (€12m)

Forwards - Neymar (€222m); Edinson Cavani (€63m); Kylian Mbappe (initial: loan; to buy: €180m)

Total cost: €440.4m (€620.4m if Mbappe makes permanent move)

Players Selected for La Liga Trials

U18 Age Group
Name: Ahmed Salam (Malaga)
Position: Right Wing
Nationality: Jordanian

Name: Yahia Iraqi (Malaga)
Position: Left Wing
Nationality: Morocco

Name: Mohammed Bouherrafa (Almeria)
Position: Centre-Midfield
Nationality: French

Name: Mohammed Rajeh (Cadiz)
Position: Striker
Nationality: Jordanian

U16 Age Group
Name: Mehdi Elkhamlichi (Malaga)
Position: Lead Striker
Nationality: Morocco

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Wealth managers recommend late investors to have a balanced portfolio that typically includes traditional assets such as cash, government and corporate bonds, equities, commodities and commercial property.

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Power: 154bhp

Torque: 250Nm

Transmission: 7-speed automatic with 8-speed sports option 

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Pieces of Her

Stars: Toni Collette, Bella Heathcote, David Wenham, Omari Hardwick   

Director: Minkie Spiro

Rating:2/5

Call of Duty: Black Ops 6

Developer: Treyarch, Raven Software
Publisher:  Activision
Console: PlayStation 4 & 5, Windows, Xbox One & Series X/S
Rating: 3.5/5

Joker: Folie a Deux

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson

Director: Todd Phillips 

Rating: 2/5

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Company%20profile
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: Almnssa
Started: August 2020
Founder: Areej Selmi
Based: Gaza
Sectors: Internet, e-commerce
Investments: Grants/private funding
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COMPANY PROFILE
Name: ARDH Collective
Based: Dubai
Founders: Alhaan Ahmed, Alyina Ahmed and Maximo Tettamanzi
Sector: Sustainability
Total funding: Self funded
Number of employees: 4