Life lessons: Let us – Emiratis and expats – join together as friends



I met a friend who was visiting for the holidays; he grew up in Abu Dhabi but went to the United States to study at university. He has lived and worked there ever since.

We reminisced – we both studied in the US – and after arguing over which side of America is better (he studied on the East Coast, me on the West), we then discussed how much the UAE has changed since we were at high school.

More importantly, we focused on the pace at which that change has come.

Then he jokingly mentioned the one thing that hasn’t changed about the UAE – Emiratis and expats still don’t hang out together. After the awkward laughter had died down, he asked: “Why do you think that is, Khalid?”

At first I couldn’t think of what to say; to some extent, he is right. I had grown up in a mixed-race family, in an international school, studied in both the United Kingdom and the US, and even with all that, most of my social circle was Emirati.

Now imagine an Emirati who was born to parents who were both Emirati, studied in a government school, went to a university in the UAE and worked in a government job. The likelihood is that their social circle is even less diverse than mine.

It took me longer than usual to come up with a final answer, mostly because I don’t really think there is one right answer. But here is my theory: it’s the working environment that has the greatest impact on our social circles and the friends we make.

Let me explain: when I think of the most diverse workplaces in the UAE, I think of the private sector. It would be safe to conclude that a large international corporation or a thriving start-up would be much more culturally diverse than a local or federal government agency.

In 2014, even the Federal National Council announced that Emiratis accounted for less than 0.5 per cent of the private sector workforce in the UAE. Additionally, walk into any government or semi-government agency, and you are naturally going see a strong Emirati presence.

I have actually heard stories of expats who have only ever interacted with Emiratis when they renewed their residency visa or driving licence.

Why does that matter? Well, when I think about my career with a government entity, there was a lot of crossover between my professional circle and social circle. The friends I worked with were the same friends I spent weekends in Dubai with, the same friends I went to the gym with, and the same friends I went to the cinema or dinner with – all UAE nationals.

If I wasn’t with friends from work, I was catching up with old friends from school – also Emirati. When I asked my friend about his experience in the US, he said it was similar, that he usually hung out with the friends he made at work, and when he wasn’t it was alumni from his university.

Therefore, I believe that the reason is due to the career track that most Emiratis choose – the government sector – and the private sector careers that attract expatriates. This situation plays a big role in the social disconnect between Emiratis and expatriates.

There are many other reasons, such as religious and cultural comfort, how we are naturally attracted to people of the same background, we all understand the same jokes and enjoy the same food and activities.

I also don’t want to discount the effort I believe expatriates should make to engage with nationals and their communities. My mother, who is from the UK, once told me of a fellow British expatriate who had spent almost 15 years in the UAE between the office and The Club, then known as the British Club. “What a shame,” she would say, discussing how much they could have learnt and how much they will regret not experiencing the local culture once they have moved back to the UK. However, I consider myself as guilty as that British expatriate. I live where more than 200 nationalities coexist peacefully. In other words, I have the cultures of the world on my doorstep, but haven’t done much to meet expats, learn about the different communities and make new friends. I am in a social comfort zone that I would like to open, to learn more about their cultures and teach the expats more about mine. Maybe that’s the first step to a future where Emiratis and expats don’t just coexist, but connect.

Khalid Al Ameri is an Emirati ­columnist and social commentator. He lives in Abu Dhabi with his wife and two sons.

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Milestones on the road to union

1970

October 26: Bahrain withdraws from a proposal to create a federation of nine with the seven Trucial States and Qatar. 

December: Ahmed Al Suwaidi visits New York to discuss potential UN membership.

1971

March 1:  Alex Douglas Hume, Conservative foreign secretary confirms that Britain will leave the Gulf and “strongly supports” the creation of a Union of Arab Emirates.

July 12: Historic meeting at which Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid make a binding agreement to create what will become the UAE.

July 18: It is announced that the UAE will be formed from six emirates, with a proposed constitution signed. RAK is not yet part of the agreement.

August 6:  The fifth anniversary of Sheikh Zayed becoming Ruler of Abu Dhabi, with official celebrations deferred until later in the year.

August 15: Bahrain becomes independent.

September 3: Qatar becomes independent.

November 23-25: Meeting with Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Rashid and senior British officials to fix December 2 as date of creation of the UAE.

November 29:  At 5.30pm Iranian forces seize the Greater and Lesser Tunbs by force.

November 30: Despite  a power sharing agreement, Tehran takes full control of Abu Musa. 

November 31: UK officials visit all six participating Emirates to formally end the Trucial States treaties

December 2: 11am, Dubai. New Supreme Council formally elects Sheikh Zayed as President. Treaty of Friendship signed with the UK. 11.30am. Flag raising ceremony at Union House and Al Manhal Palace in Abu Dhabi witnessed by Sheikh Khalifa, then Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi.

December 6: Arab League formally admits the UAE. The first British Ambassador presents his credentials to Sheikh Zayed.

December 9: UAE joins the United Nations.